Smarting from the smart posts

Where does one draw the line when it comes to acknowledging sensitivities in social media? A touchy conversation begins…

AD: You seem to be spending a lot of time online these days... What's up?

BC: I simply stare at the screen most often, but I was thinking about how dicey it has become to post a message online without offending someone or their beliefs...

AD: What do you mean?

BC: The other day, I saw a post about the pros of being a vegetarian and on impulse, shared it on my Facebook wall...

AD: So?

BC: I have a lot of friends who are non-vegetarians. It’s possible that the post could have put them off...

AD: But...

BC: Suddenly, we seem to have become pretty opinionated about a whole lot of issues - and non-issues - that are hot topics online. From cricket, IPL, politics, elections, corruption, technology and celebrities, to gun laws, healthcare and war, if you're from the West...

AD: What are you implying?

BC: Technology has made today’s world a pretty complicated place to live in - we never had such problems during my times...

AD: Look, technology attempted to give us a networking platform which, unfortunately, has degenerated into a minefield where we need to tread carefully because everyone is reading what we post...

BC: So, what technology giveth, technology taketh away?

AD: But it's only the older lot that picks issues with social media. Look at the younger generation - they don't care. Have you checked out the various memes that do the rounds? They're mostly irreverent and often use filthy language, but no one takes offence...

BC: Are you suggesting that we only discuss frivolous matters and never take a stance in social media?

AD: No, what I’m saying is that we take ourselves too seriously and when things come to a flash point, we blame technology for it.

BC: Take anti-corruption, for instance... Anything I say could offend those who are on the take, so...

AD: It’s quite complicated. Sometimes, when you oppose an opinion online, others could gang up on you and make you feel outshouted and outnumbered. This happens quite frequently in the student community… Cyberbullying has become a constant headache for parents of teens who frequent social media sites.

BC: You're probably referring to hate groups - I'm talking about normal individuals and the way they react to any post that is discordant with their beliefs...

AD: Trolling is another unfortunate outcome of this behaviour as users give vent to their rage - it has even led to suicides amongst the younger generation.

BC: But my opinions could always be deemed offensive by someone on this planet…

AD: The idea is to think twice before you express yourself online because your thoughts will travel zillions of miles the moment you hit the 'Enter' key... Has it become impossible for us to speak our mind without having to put down someone?

BC: Instead of blaming those who post messages, why not turn the focus on the recipients who seem to have lost their tolerance and possibly their sense of humour as well?

AD: The point is, social media gives us the perfect cloak to hide behind and say what we feel like. If we can’t say something in front of a crowd, we shouldn't be saying it online either...

BC: Sometimes I wonder... Technology is supposed to bridge distances, time and generations, but it has only succeeded in polarizing us as a community...

AD: Don't blame technology for it - rather, blame the way we use it. Besides, scathing criticism of social figures and administration seems to be permitted in mass media, but not in social media. Can you explain that?

BC: That's simple - people may miss an article in the print media, but will never miss a post on social media.

AD: How do you say that?

BC: Well, we hardly seem to have a few minutes to read newspapers, but when it comes to Facebook, we have the entire working day at our disposal.

She'll buy it if it's in pink...

It’s a huge misconception that men buy more tech devices than women, claims a tech fan.

BC: Hi, you seem deep in thought...

AD: I came across an interesting discussion on Facebook - a couple of friends were pretty peeved that a site had segregated its products through separate sections for men and women.

BC: So where's the problem?

AD: Apparently the women's section featured only lifestyle, fashion, healthcare and personal care products, while the men's section had electronics, technology and a whole lot of other categories...

BC: Why? Because men invest more in technology than women?

AD: You're wrong - there's a lot of research online which shows that women buy more electronic goods and gizmos than we think...

BC: Is that so?

AD: Absolutely! In fact, reports also show that they download more movies and music, and spend more time playing games online or on their gaming consoles...

BC: In that case, why is it that technology is automatically deemed a male domain?

AD: One reason could be because technology's generally considered a geek's world - and one rarely comes a female geek. Also, technology has been pioneered mostly by men...

BC: But what about women like Radia Perlman? Isn't she referred to as the 'mother of the Internet'?

AD: That's right, and there have been many women, from Carly Fiorina, who headed Hewlett-Packard, to Yahoo! CEO Marissa Mayer, who've made a name for themselves in the tech world...

BC: So why aren't brands taking note of this fact?

AD: Some did, but were off by a long way. A few years ago, Dell had come up with a site exclusively for women called Della...

BC: Was that their idea of adding femininity to the brand Dell?

AD: Whatever, but the site offered netbooks specially made for women. And it also gave them tips on all their favourite topics - health, yoga, meditation and food – to facilitate online shopping and downloads...

BC: In other words, everything that women are 'supposed' to do with a laptop...

AD: That's right. But after the scathing criticism that followed, they apologised and amended the site to be more inclusive of tech topics...

BC: Guess the popular misconception of 'make it in pink so she'll buy it' has affected many...

AD: This extends to social media as well…

BC: What do you mean?

AD: A report has revealed that women in the US use social media more than men. In fact, they vastly outnumber the number of men on Pinterest. So, with each brand increasingly looking towards social media to reach out to their target audience, this skew towards men is shocking.

BC: Absolutely!

AD: This goes for mobile, laptops and tablets too, where women are outshopping men...

BC: I'm sure it's quite different in India.

AD: We still have some distance to catch up, but you can see the number of women owning mobile phones and tablets on the rise... In fact, a survey conducted in the UK shows that women have made more purchases using their smartphones than men have...

BC: Really?

AD: Yes, incidentally, women also download more apps than men, and use these apps - and the devices they've purchased - more often than men do.

BC: Is there anything at all where men are ahead?

AD: Yes, LinkedIn has more male users than...

BC: So what about that famous theory about women being more compulsive shoppers in stores?

AD: Women have found out ways of using technology even when they shop in physical stores...

BC: Like what?

AD: They are more likely to use their camera phones and take snaps of a product to check with a friend or to compare prices online. They also make better use of the QR technology to learn more about the product.

BC: So future versions of games like Modern Combat and Battlefield could feature an all-woman team...

AD: It's possible - as long as the makers take care they don't dress them up in pink camouflage and send them into action with pink guns.

So much info, so little time…

‘Technology has to be blamed for the fact that we’re suffering from information overload,’ claims an old-timer.

BC: Hi,did you get your newspaper this morning?

AD: I wouldn't know, I get all my news online...

BC: How do you manage to keep track? There's such an overdose of news and articles on the net - it becomes so difficult to find your way through that maze, figure out which ones you want to read and...

AD: I don’t think it’s all that complicated…

BC: A newspaper has 20-odd pages and each page has a finite number of articles and news items - isn't it easier to follow them than have a million websites report the same incident in different ways?

AD: You need to install a couple of filters to make your life easy - one is to your computer, to help you be selective about what you read. And the other is to your mind, to stay focussed and not vacillate between various sites...

BC: But why complicate things in the first place? Technology was brought in to simplify life, but...

AD: Here we go again. It's pretty simple actually, as long as you know what to look for and where to look for it.

BC: You’re trivialising the problem…

AD: I don't understand why you're blaming technology for it. Hasn't information overload been bandied about as the bane of civilisation ever since the printing press came into existence?

BC: C'mon, you can't compare a few hundred books to an unending barrage of information online. Even social media has become a source of news - there are so many 'relevant' news items that are begging for your attention. And the ones that you miss out on are purposefully forwarded to you by friends and contacts – a host of sites like Mashable, Pinterest, Tumblr, Twitter, Digg and Facebook are more than willing to bring it to your laptop or mobile.

AD: You should learn to ignore most of them, especially those awful forwards in the 'self-help' and 'how to' categories...

BC: They're the ones that people just can't resist and so they end up loading themselves with information on everything from how to practice yoga at a fast-food joint to a thousand selfie poses to try out and post online before you die…

AD: But there’s a positive side to all this…

BC: The problem is that there is no balance. The pendulum has swung from a dearth of information to a surfeit of it…

AD: It's about prioritising...

BC: And what about spam? Think of all the mail you get from dubious sources that clog your inbox - and think of the time you spend in clearing it, day after day.

AD: Isn't that why we have spam filters? And why are you harping on the disadvantages of technology? What about the fact that you don't have to wait for the latest news any longer? Everything you want to know is now available at your fingertips…

BC: But I don't need all of that. What'll I do with a million sites telling me about Facebook buying Whatsapp, for instance? I need just one source of news to explain the deal to me...

AD: It's not about how much information you find - it's about knowing where to find information when you need it. That's the reason why search engines exist - and just because Google throws up a billion results doesn't mean you hare off checking out all of them...

BC: What about the health problems associated with information overload? Haven't you read about the computer vision syndrome, which affects those who stare at their screen for long durations?

AD: Scientists have come up with a brain scanner that can detect when an individual goes into information overload. Apparently, it's like a headband and is worn by the user...

BC: Look what technology has reduced us to...

AD: What do you mean?

BC: Until recently, a scanner was a peripheral connected to a computer. Now, thanks to information overload, even human beings sit attached to scanners.

The Silicon Valley Civilization

Can ancient theories be debunked simply because they weren’t created using a computer? An old timer despairs…

AD: Hi, you were planning to check out a new house - aren’t you going?

BC: I wanted to make sure that I set off at the right time, otherwise...

AD: Right time? Good heavens, don't tell me you believe in all that...

BC: Why, what’s wrong in it? It's not just a belief, it’s science.

AD: You're kidding! It's just a lot of old-fashioned notions.

BC: So anything that's modern and has to do with computers is logical – and anything that's ancient is mere superstition, regardless of how accurate it might be. Is that what you’re trying to say?

AD: Well, if you choose to trust an almanac more than the latest technology...

BC: In fact, your new-age software and operating systems are released with so many bugs in them and need constant updates and patches. Compared to that, our ancient technologies and calculations are so accurate that they haven't needed upgrades ever since they were launched.

AD: But everything has to evolve...

BC: Thousands of years ago, we identified the concept of time as being cyclic and not linear. That not only helped us understand stars and constellations a lot better, but also enabled us to predict eclipses, full moon nights and the exact time or sunrise and sunset for the next thousand years. All of this was done without using complex computer systems and advanced software...

AD: I still can't believe that you take this ‘zodiac thing’ so seriously… But how did the old-timers do these calculations? Did they just sprout wings and indulge in space travel?

BC: They didn’t, but age-old texts mention special flying vehicles, called vimanas, that were designed to help them cover great distances. Of course, there are those who have their doubts about the existence of such flying machines…

AD: I still don't understand how...

BC: I was just making a point about how advanced people were back then. But it’s a fact that it didn't take complex algorithms or satellites launched into outer space for them to calculate this. It was all science and…

AD: So are you putting down current technology to make ancient science look good?

BC: Of course not - I'm saying that modern technology owes its existence to ancient civilisation.

AD: How is that?

BC: Sometime around 100 BC, a mathematician named Pingala came up with a binary numeral system, without which today's computers, mobile phones and other devices would be dummies.

AD: I've not heard of him at all.

BC: But I'm sure you would have heard about Panini, whose pioneering work in creating a structure for Sanskrit grammar paved the way for our modern computer programming languages...

AD: Yes, I've heard of that...

BC: And you can imagine what would have happened to computers and the binary language if we hadn't come up with the concept of zero...

AD: Sure, but...

BC: Wait, there’s more. Have you ever thought about where C and Java would be without the Fibonacci series?

AD: So how does that link back to our ancient systems?

BC: The series would not have been possible if Fibonacci had not adopted the Hindu-Arabic numeral system, which again, was the brainchild of our mathematicians.

AD: Looks like all our past glory has gotten lost with time...

BC: Speaking of time, ancient Indian scriptures have alluded to minute calculations involving nanoseconds, which today, serve as a measure of computer speed.

AD: At this rate, you will be telling me that today’s IT companies wouldn’t have been around if it were not for ancient science and technology…

BC: Well, considering the fact that we had come up with numbers as large as 10 to the power of 100 as early as the 5^th century BC…

AD: That’s a googol, right?

BC: The name came much later, but just imagine - if we hadn’t calculated the number correctly, the world’s leading search engine would still be known as ‘BackRub’ instead of a misspelt version of googol. 

No technology for old men

Today’s youngsters think that technology can take care of their parents while they live abroad, claims a senior citizen.

AD: Hi, what’s up? You seem pretty upset.

BC: Just got back from my neighbour’s place. I get all worked up when I see someone choose another country as their home and expect technology to bridge the gap between them and their folks...

AD: I don't understand...

BC: Most people settled abroad think that they've done their duty by calling their parents a couple of times a week. They simply don't understand that it doesn't make up for their absence back home...

AD: Not all of them…

BC: Even if they take a vacation, they would rather holiday at some exotic place than visit their parents.

AD: Look, life abroad is not as rosy as you think it is... Besides, in today’s world, you have to find ways of keeping in touch – e-mails, Facebook, chats...

BC: Not all senior citizens are comfortable with technology. It's so difficult to learn something new after a particular age, especially for those who have never stepped out of their homes...

AD: There are so many ways to learn these days... And there's online help as well.

BC: What if even getting online is a problem for them?

AD: But it’s so easy to operate services like Skype…

BC: There we go again - even if they learn to operate a laptop, turn the internet on and sit in front of the camera, they begin to panic if the image freezes or the audio doesn't work for a few seconds, because they don't know what's going wrong...

AD: But operating a mobile is easy, right? And there are several apps that can help them to...

BC: You're looking at things from your viewpoint. You were born with all this technology around you. In their case, they are having their grandchildren teach them things. There's a big difference... Some of them are uncomfortable, others get intimidated.

AD: So why are you blaming technology for it?

BC: Because its presence is what makes today's generation think that it’s fine to keep in touch with parents back home through some new-fangled device. They don’t realise that the older lot will also be forced to adopt the same technology in order to respond.

AD: But technology is getting friendly…

BC: Hardly! Electronic goods manufacturers are so keen on making products child-friendly or child-proof, but unfortunately, when it comes to the older lot, they show scant regard...

AD: Why, what do you want them to do?

BC: What about special mobile phones for senior citizens who are probably not very comfortable with the current smartphones or the tiny keypads in regular mobiles? What about computers that are voice-enabled...

AD: There are mobiles, computer keyboards and tablets designed especially for the older users...

BC: But I haven't seen much on the shelves here. I hope you aren’t going to suggest that they buy these gadgets online…

AD: Don’t you think senior citizens need to embrace the changing world?

BC: You also need to consider the other problems of old age - failing eyesight, trembling hands, a nervous disposition, poor memory...

AD: That's the reason why technology has ushered in a concept known as pervasive computing. Based on this, computers - equipped with sensors and requisite software - observe and learn more about a person's habits non-intrusively. Soon, they become familiar with a senior citizen's habits and take over as a guide, in case his memory fails him or if he forgets to do something, like take his medicines, for instance.

BC: Sounds good, but these things need to move from being a dazzling experiment to a way of life for us to feel their utility.

AD: So what are you trying to say? That technology is a senior citizen’s biggest enemy?

BC: You’re exaggerating, but the point is, people abroad must understand that filial duties go beyond swinging by once in a while and gifting their folks an iPad.

The technopathic cure

No other branch of medicine has leveraged technology the way allopathy has done, claims a youngster, taking on his older counterpart.

AD: Hi, so how's your migraine now? Did you see the doctor?

BC: I did, he's given me some oil and a powder mix that needs to be taken with...

AD: Why didn't you go see an allopathic doctor? What if a scan or some tests have to be done?

BC: I prefer natural medicines - they have no side effects.

AD: Wouldn’t it have been better to be diagnosed and treated by a proven branch of medicine that’s backed by technology?

BC: Well, natural forms of treatment originated long before allopathy, but are still relevant - doesn't that tell you how effective and well-thought out they are?

AD: Sure, but today, we’re afflicted with so many complications – and it takes technology to identify them.

BC: Maybe, but not all ailments need technology...

AD: It's not about using technology in isolation - it's about integrating it with every aspect of medicine. The Western system has intensive research done which is aided by technology, and billions of dollars are spent every year in understanding symptoms and producing medicines...

BC: But after all the diagnosis, it's the pharma companies that dictate the cure, don't they? It's become a money spinner...

AD: You're deviating - we're talking about the efficacy of the treatment and how technology aids it.

BC: Allopathy has the backing of the Western world and that explains its popularity...

AD: Incidentally, the West has now pioneered an advanced form of laser surgery to remove brain tumour based on a new technology called SRS microscopy that allows them to see the minutest portions of the brain tissue. And SRS stands for Stimulated Raman Scattering, named after Sir C V Raman. So there's an Indian influence there as well...

BC: That's an honour to the great man, but it's a fact that in our bid to look for quick relief, we're ignoring our wonderful healing systems...

AD: What about fields like gynaecology and obstetrics? Imagine where we would be if technology didn’t result in Doppler ultrasonography or CT scans...

BC: Sure, but for thousands of years before scan centres came up, women have been delivering babies. Since we have the technology, we're trying to make use of it.

AD: Speaking of scans, do you know that the imaging technologies available in operation theatres are now accessible to general physicians too? A handheld device based on a technology called Optical Coherence Tomography (OCT) is now empowering them to...

BC: Sorry, but OCT is all OHT to me.

AD: And what about robot-assisted surgery? It can pull off the most intricate surgery with precision...

BC: Look into our ancient medical treatises – several complicated surgeries have been recorded. And they were done before modern technology came into existence.

AD: However, remote surgical intervention is a modern concept surely... I read an article about a doctor in New York performing a gallbladder operation on a patient in France. It calls for computers, artificial intelligence and...

BC: All I can say is that we are endowed with a lot of natural intelligence to fall back upon, so...

AD: Isn’t it true that a branch of medicine like homeopathy actually gives you the disease-causing substance in small, diluted doses? There have been several questions raised regarding this...

BC: If that's the case, PET - Positron Emission Tomography - scanning involves injecting the patient with a small dose of radioactive material. Would you rather accept that?

AD: Think of it as technology's miracle, because the effects are the same as that of an X-ray. I can continue telling you about how technology has aided remote surgery through the Asynchronous Transfer Mode, or ATM...

BC: The ATM has another big role to play as well...

AD: What’s that?

BC: With medical treatment becoming prohibitively expensive, it's the first place every patient will need to visit before he goes to a hospital.

Shootout at Gangstar Vegas

“Back then, indoor games were about killing time - today, they’re about killing people,” claims an old-timer.

AD: Hi, so how did you spend New Year's Eve?

BC: It was a family reunion of sorts - we watched a movie, played some board games after ages...

AD: A quiet evening, huh?

BC: You're right. There's something about these old-fashioned games - they help bring the family together...

AD: Are you suggesting that today’s computer games split families?

BC: Well, look at all the hi-tech games - kids don't want to be disturbed when they're playing. Have you tried walking into their room when they’re halfway through a game?

AD: But there are also games which can be played against one another or as teams. Online games can involve several players at the same time.

BC: How does that help? You’re still cut off from your family and would rather play with friends and classmates...

AD: Back then, you lived in large joint families, so these games were ideal for such settings. Besides, there was very little to occupy you, especially when it was too hot or was raining outside...

BC: But they just didn’t serve to kill time – they aided various forms of development. Playing Scrabble helped build your vocabulary. Games like Battleships and Monopoly helped one strategize. And games like Cluedo were all about deduction and…

AD: The games that kids love playing today are good too. They help develop character traits that are needed for today...

BC: Like what? What do kids learn from Grand Theft Auto? To shoot everyone? Or to drive like a maniac?

AD: I was referring to dexterity and hand-eye coordination...

BC: That’s funny – back in my days, building blocks and jigsaw puzzles where what came to mind when you mentioned motor skill development...

AD: Much as you dislike the fact, we have evolved. Today's kids are so exposed to everything that technology has to offer, so how can you expect them to go back to such trivial pursuits?

BC: That brings to mind Trivial Pursuit, a wonderful board game. Now, that offered general knowledge, excitement and a keen sense of competition...

AD: Well, it has Xbox and online versions too, so kids can play them now...

BC: I can imagine a family dividing itself into teams and sitting around a large board in the living room, but how can players crowd around a little monitor? It would look like they're trying to invoke the spirits on an Ouija Board...

AD: But millions have taken to these games... Tomb Raider or The Last of Us are on top of the popularity charts, so why are you having problems?

BC: Think of all the violence bloodshed and gore in these games. Most of them seem to involve the mafia, gangsters, zombies, aliens, killers, mercenaries or bounty hunters… And it takes greed and manipulative actions needed to win. They could be influenced by these traits...

AD: C'mon, you're over-reacting...

BC: And I'm not even getting to the part where kids spend hours with theirs PSPs, mobiles and tablets and consequently risk several health disorders...

AD: So how does playing Chinese Checkers with your grandmother make you fit?

BC: The point is, today's games have become addictive, unlike the board games of my era which would make an appearance only during weekends, holidays and vacations... That left us with a lot of time for other activities...

AD: But Wii games are pretty good - they combine hours of gaming with physical activity. That's the magic of technology, see?

BC: Agreed, but the new generation is slowly abandoning the physically challenging games for their handheld mobile and PC counterparts...

AD: Looks like nothing I say is going to convince you…

BC: It’s just that I don't know where all this is leading...

AD: What do you mean?

BC: The other day, I was discussing a spiritual tour to various places of worship - and my nephew wanted to know if that was the senior citizen's version of Temple Run... 

The skim scam

Despite all the technology backing banks, credit cards and debit cards, the customer is forced to play blind, claims an old-timer.

BC: Did you read the news?

AD: Yes, apparently teetotallers don't live as long as...

BC: Oh c'mon, I wasn't referring to that. Did you read the news where a bank fell prey to an e-mail scam?

AD: I did, it's pretty unfortunate that one of their accountholders lost money...

BC: I'm shocked - not just because he lost Rs. 63 lakhs for no fault of his, but because a fake email could fool a banking institution into releasing money from his account. Apparently, even his fixed deposits were liquidated...

AD: Yes, but stray occurrences like these tend to happen...

BC: If banks didn't entertain email transactions, this wouldn't have happened.

AD: What are you trying to say?

BC: Technology is being introduced to make things more convenient, but it has a flip side that can be pretty damaging...

AD: You reached this conclusion on the basis of this one incident?

BC: Of course not! I keep getting these mails about some new rule or about the need for some identification that the bank requires – so which ones do I trust and which ones do I ignore? And it certainly doesn't make me feel any better knowing that banks are getting confused too.

AD: But banks have several security checks in place for your online transactions...

BC: Do you know the number of technology glitches that have been reported by the papers in the past fortnight? A bunch of school dropouts were nabbed in Lucknow for accessing details of accountholders of a particular bank and transferring funds from their accounts online.

AD: In this case, they called these customers and asked for their password over the phone, so you can't blame technology for that...

BC: There were seven arrests made in West Bengal and Bihar where the culprits had sent fake mails and messages, collected account details, opened bank accounts under different names and were running a full-fledged racket across the country, with several others involved. Now, all this would not be possible if not for technology...

AD: Look, despite consistent warnings that they shouldn't share their account information with strangers, many customers actually...

BC: And what about that email supposedly sent by the Reserve Bank of India Governor Raghuram Rajan? Did you read about that?

AD: I did, it was the one promising the recipient a couple of crores and asked for their bank details, wasn't it? But RBI did clarify that the mail was a hoax…

BC: That's right. But the point is, it's not just individuals who are getting gypped, even companies are being hoodwinked. A private firm lost Rs. 10 lakh from its account because its net banking password was hacked. 

AD: Ok, it's happening everywhere, but...

BC: And I'm not even getting into credit card and debit card scams. Did you read about that poor guy who was cheated of Rs. 42,000 in a credit card scam in Delhi? Or about that guy in Bangalore who used fake cards and withdrew money from ATMs?

AD: Luckily, the guilty have been arrested. But you are aware of the new debit card rule issued by RBI, right? You will not just have to sign on the receipt for each transaction, but will also have to enter your PIN into the machine.

BC: I did get a mail to the effect...

AD: Cards are also moving from magnetic strip technology to chip technology...

BC: Well, they better do something about the technology because according to news reports, Indians have lost over Rs. 220 crore in 2011. All this scheming...

AD: You mean skimming... That’s how they collect vital information of accountholders from ATMs and from card machines…

BC: Well, originally skimming referred to the process of removing the cream from milk.

AD: Yes, but that’s healthy…

BC: That depends, but now I know why profitable ventures are called cash cows…

AD: I’m waiting…

BC: First they milk customers dry and then, someone else tricks them and takes away all the cream. 

Honey, I blew up the mobile

If you think technology’s making things smaller, take a look at the mobile, says an old-timer.

AD: Hey, I tried calling you all of last week - why didn't you take my calls?

BC: You did? Sorry, my mobile is down and I'm using an old mobile that has no contacts, so I never know who's calling.

AD: I guess that explains why you aren't on WhatsApp either...

BC: It’s an old flip phone with no modern technology like Wi-Fi, net connectivity, Bluetooth, apps...

AD: That’s terrible - you must be feeling totally stuck...

BC: On the contrary, I'm perfectly fine with it. It's just the key pad that needs a bit of getting used to...

AD: How can you be happy with a phone that facilitates only calls and messages?

BC: Isn't that what a phone's supposed to do? Besides, this phone has its own advantages...

AD: I'm all ears...

BC: Since it has none of the new-fangled technology, I hardly use it and the charge seems to last forever. Earlier, I had to charge my smartphone every morning...

AD: And now?

BC: I need to charge this mobile just once a week. I can't tell you how liberating it is... There's no fear of the battery dying on you midway through a call. 

AD: But that's no big deal - you can charge a mobile anywhere these days - in your car, from your laptop, at the airport or even in trains...

BC: And the old mobile is so sturdy. It has already fallen a few times in the past couple of weeks - there's not even a dent on it and it's working fine. These new smartphones are so flimsy that a little tap somewhere and the screen cracks, or the touch panel goes for a toss...

AD: They're sophisticated, so you need to handle them with care...

BC: I prefer the rugged phones – they are more suited for guys like me. It's not about carelessness - even if there's a little mishap, these modern phones have very little chance of surviving it...

AD: You have butter fingers and yet blame technology...

BC: Look, I can't help it - they are so unwieldy...

AD: What do you mean?

BC: When mobiles came in, the common crib was that they were bulky and huge. Soon, mobiles became sleeker and smaller. Remember that ad for Ericsson mobile?

AD: That 'one black coffee please’ ad? Yes, I've seen it on YouTube.

BC: Things could have stayed that way, but people were keen on using the phone to read text and surf the net, and so the screen started becoming bigger and bigger. Today, a 5-inch screen seems to be the norm...

AD: If it's smaller, you can't...

BC: ...check mail, operate your Facebook account, play games, watch movies... I don’t do any of that. But I find it difficult to handle these large-screen phones and carry them in my pocket. They can slip out any time - and you blame me instead...

AD: But you’re blaming technology…

BC: Think about it… On one hand, technology's trying to make things smaller - the laptop has become smaller and smaller until it's become a tablet in our hands. Handheld video games, CDs, thumb drives – they’re all getting smaller. But mobiles that were small are now getting bigger... I fail to understand the logic when bigger objects are getting more compact while the smaller ones are being blown up.

AD: It depends on the usage and convenience - why blame technology for it?

BC: Well, it's just funny that the latest mobiles now need a watch to operate them.

AD: You got it wrong. That's...

BC: I know, it’s just an accessory… But this whole trend of having an external device to help you operate your mobile could be a dangerous indication of things to come…

AD: Why do you say that?

BC: Well, it could probably mean that one day, the mobile is going to get as big as the TV and will need a remote to operate it.  

Me and my selfie

Love is in the air, but thanks to technology, people are falling in love with themselves, claims an old-timer.

AD: Hi, what's the Oxford English Dictionary doing on your desk?

BC: I'm planning to give it away...

AD: Why, did you buy the latest version?

BC: No, I'm shattered that they've begun introducing strange words into their dictionary...

AD: Like what?

BC: Like selfie - sounds like it's short for selfish.

AD: It's the term used to describe people taking shots of themselves...

BC:...and posting it online. You don't have to explain.

AD: Of course! Both social media and the print media are full of articles, pictures and descriptions of what the word means and how it is becoming so popular.

BC: But imagine Oxford English Dictionary recognizing it as an…

AD: Look, you can’t argue with success, can you? It has been crowned the most popular word of 2013. And for your information, it has not been included in the Oxford English Dictionary – it is part of Oxford Dictionary Online.

BC: Interesting, but why would people want to keep shooting photos of themselves and post it online?

AD: Look, when they posted their holiday photos, you had a problem with it. When they posted photos of their pets, you cribbed. And they can't post photos of their kids winning the lime-and-spoon race, of their morning breakfast or of a view of the sky from their window, according to you. So that leaves them with no option, but to post their own photos...

BC: But why this compulsive need to click themselves? I find it strange that even celebrities indulge in it… On one hand, they fight with photographers and complain about invasion of their privacy - and on the other, they keep clicking themselves and uploading the photos on...

AD: It's just a fad - and like any other wave, this will rage on and on and will fade out once the next big thing comes up...

BC: That's the problem with technology… Look what it has reduced all of us to - we're becoming so full of ourselves.

AD: Wait, don't tell me that selfies began with Facebook and Instagram...

BC: Reports have it that over 90 million images uploaded on Instagram each month are selfies, with the hashtag #me.

AD: Go back to the era of instant photo boothsand polaroids…Remember how teenagers rushed to those tiny cubicles and had their mugs shot?

BC: At least they didn't show it off to the world...

AD: Pity they didn’t have social media back then… And what about the era before that? Everyone wanted their portraits hanging on the wall to show off that...

BC: That wasn't a selfie - it was an artist painting them...

AD: Isn't that still indulgence? Portraits came at a cost, but thanks to technology, taking a digital photo and uploading it on a social networking site are both free of cost...

BC: But I still don't get it - how could a word like 'selfie' be declared the word of the year?

AD: Look, Oxford Dictionary chose it simply because of its popularity - they didn't come up with the word, for heaven's sake. Besides, would you rather have 'twerk' as the word of the year? Apparently, it was one of the words being considered for the title - and with Miley Cyrus making it popular...

BC: I would rather have twerp chosen in the place of twerk - and don't ask me what it means, please look it up...

AD: Talking of twerps, you haven't met the more exciting cousin of selfie - called belfie - have you?

BC: Who's that?

AD: It's not a who, it's a what... People apparently post pictures of their bottom and it's called a...

BC: I could do without such trivia, but it makes me wonder what Narcissus would have done with a digital camera?

AD: He's the guy who fell in love with his own reflection, right? What about him?

BC: Would he have clicked selfies of himself, of his reflection or of himself looking at his reflection?

Putting the social into social media

‘Why is social media suddenly going overboard in its attempt to create social relevance?’ An old-timer wonders.

AD: Hi, you seem deep in thought...

BC: Nothing, just wondering about how the human mind works...

AD: Ah, so what were you reading last night - Freud or Sherlock Holmes?

BC: Neither - I was reading about the buzz created online by an ad for gold jewellery...

AD: Why, didn't you like the ad?

BC: Oh, I thought it was truly clutter-breaking in terms of its scripting and was fabulously shot.

AD: So you have a problem with the ad going viral?

BC: Not at all. On the contrary, I'm happy that so many people have appreciated a good ad. You can't say the same of movies, where the bad ones find overwhelming acceptance and the good ones, a mere clap or two.

AD: So what's the problem?

BC: I'm just amazed at social media's constant search to glorify something, even if it means reading non-existent subtext...

AD: Hold on, you're losing me...

BC: I would have been happy if the ad had been circulated because it was a great ad. Instead, it has suddenly been anointed as the voice that speaks out for widow remarriage and...

AD: That isn't subtext - that's the script! It's about a woman who gets married again.

BC: I know that - but look at what social media has turned an ad for wedding jewellery into...

AD: But it's looking at the current societal changes - or it's at least looking forward to such changes in society.

BC: Correction - the ad's selling jewellery. It's social media that's looking at the ad championing changes in society.

AD: So what are you arriving at?

BC: Why are we labouring to put the 'social' into social media? We either spend hours catering to our personal egos or we go to the other extreme and suddenly attempt a stab at social consciousness. It brings me back to my point on armchair activism - we  feel that we have done our bit for society simply by forwarding something or clicking on the Like button...

AD: It's definitely a forward looking ad...

BC: No doubt, but as I mentioned before, it's a great ad about a woman who choose a particular brand of jewellery when she's getting married - again. Suddenly, this ad has begun a trend - not in advertising, but in social media, with people flocking to post ads that have social connotations. Suddenly, there's an ad for a beverage about a single mother inspiring her son to come first, that's being hailed as the taboo-breaker for women.

AD: I've seen the link of an earlier ad for a women's magazine that also played up the remarriage theme...

BC: Where is all this going to end? I've seen an ad where two kids wait for a biscuit truck to go over a bump each day and pick up the biscuit packets that tumble out. So is that the sign of a confectionary manufacturer promoting social awareness about orphans?

AD: How do you know they are orphans?

BC: Well, just because they don't show a father, you've assumed that it's a single mom bringing up her son. So...

AD: How can you be sarcastic about social issues?

BC: I'm not. All I'm saying is that social media has become putty in our hands. Each day, it becomes what we make of it. If you really want to talk about social media triggering a revolution, please look up Egypt...

AD: The comparison doesn't hold good, this is an ad...

BC: Precisely what I'm saying. And talking of subtexts, there's also a section of the social media that has praised the ad for casting a dusky actor in the lead role. This, despite the fact that the director of the film has categorically stated that casting an actor with a dusky complexion wasn't a deliberate move. Again, it's the social media that's going to town with what it believes are the social  statements of the ad. This is almost like looking at Michelangelo's paintings and looking for hidden meanings and messages. Once you begin, there's no end to it.

AD: Well, there are two sides to every story and this has two as well - social and cynical.

BC: The irony of it all is that the lure of gold is considered the ultimate in material pursuits.

AD: So?

BC: Isn't it funny how we have transformed an ad that exhorts us to give in to our material pursuits, into the spark that is meant to trigger a social revolution?

Whatsapp guys?

Rapidly changing technology is making it difficult to stay in touch with friends, laments an old-timer.

AD: Hi, why the long face?

BC: Never thought keeping in touch with friends could be such a problem...

AD: Well, technology helps those who help themselves, but in your case…

BC: I can’t help it - things are changing so rapidly that...

AD: For years, man has been toying around with the need for speed. And now that it has happened, your problem is that it's all going too fast...

BC: Not too long back, I was happy to be introduced to email...

AD: Not too long back? That must have been around 15-16 years ago!

BC: Look, you must realise what a challenge it was for me to make the transition from writing letters to typing mails. And just when I was getting comfortable with email, my friends introduced me to this abomination called a ‘chat room’ where we could enter and chat as a group...

AD: I’ve read about Yahoo! Chat Rooms being pretty popular back then...

BC: I found them too annoying because we would continuously be interrupted by strangers - some of them would be downright abusive and we would have to leave the chat room...

AD: Yes, but...

BC: That was not the only problem - we were all on dial-ups. Just as everyone would assemble in a chat room, one or more of us would lose our connection - we would then have to dial up again, log in and find our friends online. I always needed help with that...

AD: I know, dial-ups were quite fickle, weren't they?

BC: Then came messenger and my friends insisted that I should download a messenger...

AD: Which one did you use?

BC: Mostly Yahoo! Messenger and occasionally MSN. But when Google Talk came along, my entire batch moved to it...

AD: It's funny trying to visualise a set of senior citizens chasing one messenger after another and trying to stay in touch...

BC: You make it sound like dogs chasing postmen. The real issue here was that unlike email, there’s no compatibility between various service providers. If your friends shift to something new, you are forced to follow suit.

AD: That problem still exists – it’s the same even with social networking sites…

BC: The messenger challenge improved with web cams and microphones coming into the scene - suddenly we didn't have to type. Everything was visual and aural. I really enjoyed that...

AD: And?

BC: Facebook happened… And all my friends moved to it. I tried telling them that it was for kids and that we were too old to be seen there, but none of them would listen...

AD: So that was how you became a Facebook user.

BC: I didn't have a choice - it was the only place where I could find my friends...

AD: So what's the problem now?

BC: Ever since mobiles became internet-enabled, they've all switched to WhatsApp and...

AD: I’m waiting…

BC: Now, my mobile keeps hanging ever since I activated a data pack…

AD: Look, if you have a problem with everything, you'll find it difficult to keep pace with technology...

BC: I know. I'm most tempted to turn around and go back to the good old days...

AD: Too late - they've even phased out telegrams, so you're stuck...

BC: It’s annoying - the harder I try to keep in touch with my friends, the more isolated technology is making me feel...

AD: So what’re you going to do about it?

BC: I’m trying to get the group together at Bessy…

AD: Is that a new social networking site? Funny how I haven’t heard of it and you have… Did you google it and…

BC: Good heavens, I was referring to the beach in my neighbourhood. And you’re right in a way - long before the internet came into our lives, Bessy used to be the quintessential ‘site’ for social networking amongst the younger generation. 

I’m quitting, here’s my video

When you have technology on your side, you can dance your way out of a job, claims a tech fan.

BC: Hi, why the pained look?

AD: I've had enough of my job...

BC: So why don't you quit?

AD: Like Marina Shifrin?

BC: What do you mean?

AD: She worked for an animation company, and made a resignation video that featured her dancing to a popular track...

BC: Quite innovative, but why go through all that trouble?  

AD: I know, but her video has garnered almost 16 million hits online, making her famous the world over. Now she has also been offered a job by Queen Latifah - a singer, actor and producer in Hollywood – during a talk show on prime time TV.

BC: Looks like technology can make anyone famous these days. So how did her ex-employer handle this?

AD: They made their own video in response to hers, showcasing their cool working conditions…

BC: Now, that really takes the cake…

AD: In fact, Marina's video seems to be inspiring other people to make their 'I quit' videos – there’s one from Brenna Jennings, a work-from-home mother that has become a hit.

BC: I don’t know what to say…

AD: Well, there's more - after Queen Latifah, Y&R Israel, an international advertising agency offered her a job too, through a video that they uploaded on YouTube...

BC: Is the whole world going mad?

AD: Nope, it's just going viral. The Y&R video has had over 50,000 views and a few people asking if they could take up the job in case Marina refused it...

BC: Where's all this going?

AD: I don't know about that, but right now, the video's going places, the battle is going on in Twitter, and…

BC: …people are going crazy trying to find out which of the offers Marina will take up.

AD: Absolutely! And talking of Twitter, Paula Abdul, a famous singer who was a judge in American Idol for eight seasons, used the social media site to quit the show in 2009.

BC: Well, looks like technology is the ultimate beneficiary.

AD: How do you say that?

BC: YouTube is having millions of hits from all these videos, Facebook and Twitter are being kept busy, and...

AD: We used technology in a different way in my earlier job - we had four templates for resignation letters stashed away in the company’s server and no one knew about it.

BC: Why four?

AD: Each had a different opening, a different closing line and a different reason for quitting. Employees could take their pick and then print it out, with suitable modifications. Tell me, would this be possible without technology?

BC: Such a furore over quitting a job - heaven help us...

AD: But there have been other instances as well - there was this designer who sent an error message as his resignation letter to his boss, with buttons for Ignore, Renegotiate and HR...

BC: I’m just happy that I don't have to work in this crazy world.

AD: It would have been a funny sight to see you quit like this in your times…

BC: What do you mean?

AD: Without digital cameras and digital storage media, you would have had to use archaic movie cameras to shoot yourself, add audio to the tapes, carry huge spools of film to the office and leave it on your boss's table, just to tell him that you are quitting. And your boss would have had to hire a projector and a screen, shut out the lights and watch the film to know that you've quit…

BC: Technology was backward back then...

AD: Perhaps, but now, all it takes to get your boss to see your resignation video is an upload onto a social networking site - and a forward. 

Password? It’s at my fingertip!

Technology has moved passwords from the tip of your tongue to the tip of your fingers, claims a tech fan.

AD: Hey, do you know that Apple is coming out with a new typewriter called iType?

BC: What???

AD: Now that I have your attention, here’s the real news – Apple has launched the iPhone 5s with Touch ID.

BC: What's that?

AD: Amazing how your question remains unchanged regardless of whether it’s a typewriter or an iPhone. Touch ID is a biometric system that uses your fingerprint as a security device to unlock your mobile. So your fingerprint becomes your digital signature or your password...

BC: But what if I hurt my fingers? What if they're bandaged or have a plaster on them? What if I nick them while...

AD: Hold on, you can record up to five fingerprints, so any of them can be used.

BC: But think of all those people who use their hands and their fingers at work - musicians, homemakers who cook and wash, writers who type non-stop... So what'll they use if their fingers get worn out - their pet's paw print?

AD: Well, a cat's paw print has already been used to unlock the 5s, but that’s because it was registered as one of the five possible impressions that can unlock the phone.

BC: So how long does it take to unlock a phone using Touch ID?

AD: Possibly a second - the amazing part is that you don't have to place the finger in the same way that you did when you registered the fingerprint. The sensor is smart enough to detect the impression from any angle...

BC: Computers, phones, digital music players, tablets - and now fingerprint recognition. I can't see where Apple is going with this...

AD: In fact, Apple planned for this over a year ago and bought over a company called AuthenTec, which specialises in fingerprint readers and ID management software.

BC: But is it safe? There are so many instances of hacking that we read about...

AD: Ok, a hacking team that calls itself the Chaos Computer Club seems to have confirmed your worst fears - it claims to have cracked the security system and has even posted videos of how it went about it. This happened less than three days after the launch... And wipe that smug expression off your face.

BC: So how has the response been to Touch ID and to the 5s?

AD: According to reports, over six million customers have ordered the 5s in the first weekend of its launch...

BC: Great, so that's six million fingerprints, and with five options each, it's 30 million in all. Where are all these fingerprints stored?

AD: I see where you're going with this. Your fingerprints are digitally encrypted and stored in your mobile's processor, so in case you think Apple has access to them or that they are all stored in a central server, waiting to be hacked...

BC: But I still don't understand all this fuss over unlocking a phone.

AD: Isn't using your finger to unlock the device a lot simpler than entering a 4-digit passcode each time?

BC: There have been other instances where fingerprint authentication has been tried out, but has not proved to be very successful...

AD: The latest technology is fine-tuning the whole process. It's not just Apple - other mobile manufacturers are also throwing in their lot with fingerprint identity sensors. Computers and tablets are also following suit...

BC: So what happens if I've left my mobile home and my wife wants to use it?

AD: There's always a backup - you can opt to use the regular passcode, as with all iPhones. In fact, there's also an option by which you can choose to disable Touch ID.

BC: With half the world choosing to use 1234 as the passcode, I'm not sure which is scarier of the two – a finger that's broken or a security feature that can easily be broken into.

When the office comes home...

‘Technology has made it possible to bring the office home, but can it keep the two apart?’ An old-timer wonders...

BC: Hi, what's the matter? It's almost noon and you still haven't gone to work...

AD: Actually, I'm at work.

BC: I don't understand...

AD: I'm going to be telecommuting for the next six months...

BC: Tele-what? Is that what they do in Star Trek when they magically appear in some other place?

AD: No, that's teleportation. Telecommuting is about working from home – or any remote location - with the help of technology…

BC: What's new about that? Even when you sit in your office, you use a lot of technology...

AD: Precisely! That’s why companies have now begun to allow employees to work from home. They can reach us by mail or over the phone. Or I could get on to Skype or a chat session. Teleconferencing, video conferences, file sharing – I can do them all from home. And at the end of the day, I wrap up and mail my work across and that's that.

BC: I can't imagine working from home.

AD: Why not?

BC: Because to me, home is an area of calm. It’s the place I come back to after weathering many a storm – at the workplace, at client meetings and in traffic. If you're going to drag the office home, you're bringing along the stress and the pressures of work to your bedroom. So how are you…

AD: Well, with laptops, smartphones and tablets, work moved into our homes long before you realised it. So why not formalise the arrangement?

BC: But how do you end a working day? Where do you draw the line between work and personal life when both are fighting to coexist in the same place?

AD: That calls for time management and good planning. Besides, look at the positives - no more strenuous drives in peak hours, no more traffic jams, no more office politics…

BC: For years, man has been deputing technology to do his work for him. And somewhere along the way, technology has made a backdoor entry into his house and has programmed his life in a way that, instead of waking up and checking out the sunrise from his window, he ends up booting up Windows and checking his mails as soon as he gets up.

AD: But you can spend more time with the family, both because you can work from home and because you save time on commutes.

BC: You're kidding me! You'll probably use up all that time updating your status messages and checking out forwards...

AD: Look at other positives - you don't have to dress up any longer to go to work. I'm sure you would have liked that...

BC: In fact, half the people these days look like they crawled out of bed and went straight to work. Regardless of all that you say, I foresee lots of problems with working from home...

AD: Like what?

BC: You can't call in sick. You can't crib about your boss. You can't catch up on watercooler gossip. You'll never know how much the next guy is making...

AD: As always, you need to find something to crib about, don't you? Besides, this is not about you. The current generation loves it, so...

BC: I'm sure they do. I'm also sure that school kids these days must be wondering why their folks are forever having that zombie expression on their faces and are lounging around all day at home in their nightclothes while they have to wear their uniforms and go to school, five days a week. I’m not sure if they’ll thank technology for it.

AD: Despite all that you say, more and more people are now getting inspired to work from home…

BC: Guess I need to start going to the office too…

AD: I thought you were retired…

BC: I was. But, now that your generation is going to work from home, I guess workplaces will be a lot more peaceful...

When earthlings turn Martians

‘Technology finally gives mankind an out-of-this-world experience – in Mars,’ announces a tech fan.

AD: Hi, did you apply to go to Mars?

BC: Do you know that it’s a one-way ticket? Why would anyone want to go there?

AD: Landing on the moon was nothing more than a Tintin adventure for decades, until it really happened. As for Mars, it has been the subject of several sci-fi movies and spoofs, until Mars One announced this trip…

BC: It sounds more like a horror movie – imagine people volunteering, knowing that they’ll never return! News has it that arrangements will be done to cremate those who die there...

AD: Initially, 40 candidates will be shortlisted and trained, from which four will finally make it. So why would anyone want to miss out on this chance?

BC: Haven't you read about the Mars curse? There have been so many missions to Mars in the past decades that have failed at various stages...

AD: Perhaps technology will evolve enough in the coming decade to undo the curse and also prolong lives...

BC: In that case, why don't you use technology and find a way to bring the space passengers back? Surely, you are aware that the reason they're staying on is because we haven't figured out a way of powering the return journey...

AD: You never know - they might come up with something by then. Can you believe that the application fee is between $25 and $38, depending on the country one is from? That's probably cheaper than a video game featuring a Martian attack...

BC: But I read that the mission will cost over $6 billion... They will probably need half the United States to apply, for them to cover the costs....

AD: While the reports say that over 165,000 have already applied, I'm not sure how many more will, because the maiden flight will carry only two males and two females. However, they're planning to follow it up with a second flight in 2025.

BC: All these numbers and dates make my head spin - are these guys serious? Is this really going to happen? It sounds like a George Lucas film that's coming to life...

AD: Apparently, a couple of commercial cargo missions have already been made. Besides, they're going to start various missions to Mars to create a settlement there, sometime in 2016. The landing systems will also be tested several times to ensure that all goes well...

BC: What happens if they fall sick or if there's an emergency?

AD: Well, they'll have to handle it themselves...

BC: Are you telling me that while cremation facilities are being made, there will be no medical facilities?

AD: Look, you can't plan for contingencies, but you can plan for certainties, right? But jokes apart, the chosen candidates will be given training for around seven years. Do you know that over 8000 Indians have applied?

BC: Can't blame them. Think of the rising fuel costs - $25 can't cover a person’s fuel costs for a week, but now...

AD: ...it can get him to Mars.

BC: Right! And how long does it take to reach Mars?

AD: Around seven months.

BC: And once they're gone, how will the world know about them?

AD: There will be extensive media coverage, and everything from the shortlisting of astronauts and the final selection, to their voyage will be covered by the electronic media.

BC: So that's the miracle that technology's giving you - a one-way space voyage and a long-lasting reality show on TV. What about Facebook updates? I can see a ‘Yuck, Mars is so dusty’ message coming up…

AD: Stop being cynical about it. Isn't this expedition bringing together the best of science, telecom, space technology and...?

BC: More than what it brings together, I'm excited about what it can take away...

AD: I don't get you.

BC: How about nominating all those people you don't want to see on earth? Isn't it a great way to clean up the planet?