On the seventh day of Facebook...

They’re radical, they’re temporal, but they’re not optional... An old-timer tries to come to terms with the latest developments on Facebook.

BC: Hey, you had posted an article about the falling Indian rupee on Facebook.

AD: Interesting one, right?

BC: I wouldn't know, I couldn't read it...

AD: Why not?

BC: I clicked on the link, but it took me to a window that not only asked me to add the app to Facebook, but also ‘required’ my description and likes. I declined...

AD: That's Open Graph...

BC: With Facebook, life became an open book – but an open graph...?

AD: Open Graph allows you to share what you read, with your Facebook friends...

BC: So the world will know everything that I read online?

AD: No, you can decide who will see the list of articles you've read.

BC: Listen, half my Facebook friends are people I don't know too well. So what happens when I'm working on a project related to sexually transmitted diseases? Can you imagine the list of articles that people will find me reading?

AD: Look at the brighter side – Open Graph helps publications drive traffic to their content, it helps marketers understand your preferences and it also helps Facebook build your profile based on your reading and listening habits...

BC: Why is everything on Facebook slowly tending towards collecting information about users?

AD: It's not! For starters, what would Facebook do with that data?

BC: You tell me, you're the tech guru here. Incidentally, do you know about that Austrian law student who requested Facebook for all the personal information they had on him? He got a response - over 1200 pages of information on him, his Facebook activities, posts, messages, likes... And the scary part is that even posts he thought he had deleted were part of the document.

AD: Hey, aren't you getting a little too hyper about this?

BC: What if someone hacks those servers and retrieves information and photographs about...

AD: Why are you worried about such things, unless you have posted a photo of you dancing away on New Year's Eve in a hula skirt, and have forgotten all about it...

BC: Don't worry, there's neither any incriminating evidence nor a colourful past...

AD: Think again, because Timeline's on its way...

BC: I shudder to ask - what's that?

AD: Timeline is Facebook's new way of organizing all your information - comments, messages, links and photos - in a chronological fashion, the most recent ones showing up first.

BC: Another change? Oh c'mon... Can I just stick with the existing layout? I just about got used to it...

AD: Right now, Timeline's optional, but it may soon become mandatory and you may not have a choice.

BC: I don't understand it... Why is change being forced upon us?

AD: Technology's all about evolution... The trick is to ride the wave and embrace change ahead of the rest...

BC: Ahead of the rest? If Timeline's going to hit all of us at some point, why rush?

AD: Because if you opt for it now, you have seven days to 'purge and purify' - in other words, edit out all those shocking posts and photos and also review your settings so that your newfound friends don't have to see your older posts...

BC: Seven days... how dramatic! Like God made the world in seven days?

AD: Well, He rested on Sabbath, but with our hectic weekly schedule, we might be working overtime on Sunday, going through older posts...

STAYING CONNECTED - OR CONFUSED?

The ‘zen’ in ‘senior citizens’ needs to be taken more seriously when you configure the internet for them, avers an old-timer.

AD: Does familiarity breed contempt or comfort?

BC: Neither. It creates conflict, if you take the two of us…

AD: You don’t know what I’m talking about, do you?

BC: No, but I will, in a minute. I can’t see you walking away without lecturing me on some aspect of technology each time you see me.

AD: It’s just my way of trying to making you see the merits of technology. But then, as they say, we live in hope.

BC: And why this metaphysical analysis on familiarity?

AD: A friend of mine was telling me how his Mom was having a problem with the way websites were frequently changing their look. Her mail service provider had replaced the trash button with an icon of a trash can and she was pretty confused by the new layout.

BC: I know that feeling. For most senior citizens, the computer is as alien as musical notations are to someone who has never studied music. We tend to forget the fact that most of them have not used computers or the internet in their education or at work.

AD: But it’s so easy to learn to use a computer…

BC: Well, the simplest operation or command can be so complicated for those who are not familiar with a computer. Do you realize that almost every word – like mouse, shift, cookie, cursor, menu, icon, browser, folder, file or scroll – has a different meaning in the cyber world? Actions like download, upload, right-click and double-click could leave a beginner all at sea…

AD: Never thought that these terms would be so difficult to understand…

BC: Imagine their reaction when they receive a message asking them if they wanted to ‘kill’ unresponsive pages...  

AD: It would probably send a shockwave through them.

BC: These things happen in a flash, you see.

AD: What about GUI? They should find it easier to handle, right?

BC: Small icons, buttons spaced faraway, subtle colour variations – all of these could confuse senior citizens.

AD: What about the convenience factor? Websites offer a lot of valuable medical information and health tips. Most paperwork and payments can be done online now.

BC: In an age where everyone is wary of phishing and internet security, how do you expect the older generation to be comfortable with online accounts? 

AD: But the speed at which you can get work done…

BC: The internet can alternate between being really fast and painfully slow. And this affects the behavior of websites.

AD: I still don’t understand it… What’s so complicated about these websites?

BC: The pop-ups and annoying ads that explode on your screen and cover the web page… Can you imagine an 80-year old looking for the tiny x in a corner of the pop-up to close it?

AD: I’ll have to admit, they are pretty irritating…

BC: Even useful features like the auto-fill facility and Google's auto-complete feature that completes your search entry before you do, can confuse first-timers. I know a few senior citizens who were spooked because words appeared before they typed them.

AD: Can I never get you to look at the internet as a boon?

BC: The internet also brings with it lots of trouble - spam, malware, spyware, virus, trojans and other unfavourable by-products of modern technology…

AD: Are you not going to trust anything new?

BC: Why not? I'll give 2012 the thumbs up. After all, be it a New Year or new technology, don't we all live in hope?

Going viral with murderous rage

It travels faster than light, it's free and it has the power to create a star overnight. An old-timer explores a world that's going viral.

BC: I don't get it.

AD: Get what?

BC: Over 20 million hits and it’s still going strong. What exactly is this phenomenon?

AD: The question's not 'what', but 'why'. Why this...

BC: Stop! Please…! I have it coming out of my ears...

AD: I must say we're having an overdose of it now. Newspapers, blogs, Facebook forwards, tweets and a zillion versions, not to mention Hitler raging over the hit number…

BC: Things are so bad that a few days back, I saw an article on Karlovy Vary, a spa city in the Czech Republic, and you can imagine what I mistook it for...

AD: So you've made the song a hit even in the Czech Republic.

BC: Don’t tell me! But how do these things become such a craze?

AD: What happens when you sneeze?

BC: Why are you revisiting my Class 3 science lesson?

AD: For the simple reason that viral videos and messages are transmitted the same way. You post or upload content online. If it catches the fancy of other netizens, they share it, forward it, tweet about it and recommend it to their friends or networks. Soon, your post becomes a rage.

BC: Sounds like a great way to market your skills - free of cost.

AD: That's right, can you imagine a 14-year old becoming a singing sensation because of a single song uploaded on various social media sites?

BC: Who is this?

AD: Rebecca Black - apparently her video has been viewed around 167 million times. She is widely hailed as the female Justin Bieber.

BC: And who might he be?

AD: I should have known. Your generation would never know anyone who's just in. Justin Bieber is another teen sensation who became popular because of his viral videos that were seen by millions. He's a star today.

BC: Sounds like a great avenue for careers.

AD: In fact, a viral video on YouTube has given a voice-over artist a new lease of life.

BC: Wow!

AD: Ted Williams was out of a job, homeless and drifting, when his video went viral. In 48 hours, it had received over 13 million hits and Ted Williams, a couple of job offers.

BC: This sounds fascinating... So why can't companies use this method to promote their products?

AD: Google announced the launch of its Chrome browser through a 38-page online comic book that has now become a collector's item. The funny part was that the comics became widely circulated and forwarded before the browser was launched. Google had to rush things to ensure an early launch because the buzz had become tremendous by then.

BC: I guess information or videos leaked without one's knowledge can create havoc.

AD: Like the ‘Starwars kid’ video. A video of Ghyslain Razaa playing with a golf ball retriever was circulated online by his friends without his knowledge and viewed over a billion times. Unfortunately, it led to him dropping out of school because of all the teasing – he had to go through psychiatric treatment.

BC: I'm sure that if this current rage plays another time in my head, I will be locked up in a psychiatric ward for the rest of my life.

AD: That's funny.

BC: What is?

AD: When the world is raving about what it takes for a viral video to spread, it takes someone from your generation to go raving mad about a viral video taking you to the shrink.

A world with five computers

There are three things one should never trust in technology – obsolete hardware, pirated software and predictions.

AD: What's that you're staring at?

BC: It's a Mayan calendar.

AD: Why, aren’t there enough dates in the Gregorian calendar?

BC: No, I was just trying to figure out when the world was coming to an end...

AD: What?

BC: Didn’t the Mayans predict that the world would end in 2012?

AD: Listen, the end of the world has been predicted many times over... only, it's yet to happen.

BC: Aren't you glad?

AD: No, I don't believe in them... Would you believe me if I told you that starting 2012, computers will never suffer from virus attacks?

BC: That's wishful thinking...

AD: What would you say to a person who, in 2004, said that the problem of spam would be solved in two years?

BC: He has no clue about technology.

AD: What about the person who is reported to have said that there was a world market for only five computers?

BC: Absurd!

AD: You've just called Bill Gates clueless and Thomas Watson, ex-Chairman of IBM, absurd.

BC: Wait, I didn't call them anything. I just reacted to what they said!

AD: And how would you react to someone telling you that iPhones will never get impressive numbers in the market?

BC: Well, he's got the wrong number, for sure...

AD: You’ve just hung up on Steve Ballmer, CEO of Microsoft.

BC: The press must have had a ball about IT bosses going famously wrong...

AD: Don't know about that, but way back in 1966, the press did get it wrong about online shopping - a magazine had famously predicted that 'remote shopping' would never be a hit.

BC: Must have been a magazine that wasn't in with the times.

AD: It was TIME magazine – are you calling them outdated?

BC: No, I was...

AD: Speaking of online shopping, in 1999, a famous personality doubted if Amazon could ever make substantial profits by selling books online.

BC: Must have been someone who never bought books.

AD: If he never bought books, it was probably because he was too busy writing them... It was Thomas Friedman, a much-published author and journalist.

BC: Isn’t it ironical that even buying an old-fashioned book requires a computer and an internet connection at home?

AD: And what if a technology leader states that no one would want a computer in their home?

BC: You mean someone other that Thomas Watson said that?

AD: Looks like there were quite a few people who were as sceptical about technology as you are.

BC: Look, don't start this all over again...

AD: I didn't, Ken Olsen, founder of Digital Equipment Corp did. But this was back in the 70s when home computers weren't around...

BC: So how were they to know…

AD: Absolutely! Three years ago, if someone had predicted that over 400 million people would log in to a particular site and post over 250 million photos day after day, would you have believed them?

BC: 400 million users... It has to be Facebook! I've seen a graphic which says that the site gets almost 700,000 status updates each minute.

AD: Accept it, technology is impossible to predict.

BC: No way, I can make two accurate predictions, both involving technology...

AD: I'm waiting...

BC: One, I will forever be trying to convince you about our overdependence on technology. And two, you will continue to disagree with me.

AD: Cherish this moment, because... I agree!

A taste of technology

There's always something new cooking in the tech world – and most of it is sweet.

AD: Hi, weren't you looking for a mobile a couple of months ago? Did you buy one?

BC: I just couldn’t decide... All of them sounded so complicated….

AD: Why don’t you get the latest – Samsung Galaxy Nexus - with an Ice Cream Sandwich?

BC: Is that an offer? Buy a mobile phone and get an ice cream sandwich free?

AD: No, Ice Cream Sandwich is the latest version of Google’s Android operating system.

BC: Why name an OS after a food item?

AD: They're just trying to find a way to get guys like you to work up an appetite for technology.

BC: You haven't answered my question though...

AD: Well, first, there was nothing…

BC: Are you starting from God creating heaven and earth?

AD: No, what I meant was that the Android OS, Version 1.1 did not have a name.

BC: So how did the saccharine connotation come about?

AD: Google’s next big release was Android Version 1.5, codenamed cupcake…

BC: And that was how it all started…

AD: Yes, ‘cupcake’ was followed up with Android Version 1.6 – Donut.

BC: What was next – Éclair?

AD: Was that a lucky guess? It was Éclair – Android 2.0.

BC: But why Éclair?

AD: Perhaps there were so many new features that they needed something bigger than a donut!

BC: So each version was named after a dessert item.

AD: They didn’t stop with that, they named them in alphabetical order too. Cupcake, Donut, Éclair… the next was Froyo, Android 2.2.

BC: Froyo?

AD: Yup, stands for ‘frozen yoghurt’.

BC: Was it meant to be a sweet and sour experience for users?

AD: It was lip-smacking! Froyo was succeeded by Gingerbread – Android 2.3.

BC: Maybe each new version had to be celebrated and hence a dessert name…

AD: Perhaps! Apparently, gingerbread is part of the year-end celebrations in the US, and this version was released in December 2010, so…

BC: That figures.

AD: The next version of Android OS – Honeycomb - was launched exclusively for tablets.

BC: After all these desserts, I’m sure you’ll need a tablet.

AD: Oh c’mon, you know what I’m referring to. And now, Version 4.0 is being launched this month…

BC: Ice Cream Sandwich!

AD: You got it!

BC: With India becoming a huge market for these devices, do you think the next version could be called Jalebi?

AD: Why don’t you write to Google? They might give you a job…

BC: …in the kitchen, where I’ll be making sweets.

AD: I don’t think they’ll want to risk their lives.

BC: I’m still curious – why desserts?

AD: The Google team prefers to be secretive about this, so all we can do is guess. There are other 'sweet-sounding' names as well. Peppermint is an open source operating system based on Ubuntu Linux. Muffin is a proxy software that filters web content...

BC: I always thought that a name should convey a category, a benefit or an innovation…

AD: That’s conventional thinking. Companies follow their own nomenclature when it comes to naming products… For instance, Apple names its Mac OS X versions after cats – Cheetah, Puma, Jaguar, Panther, Tiger, Leopard, and so on.

BC: Isn’t it funny?

AD: What is?

BC: Half of technology is named after food we love to feast on. The other half is named after cats that love to feast on us.

Remembering our i-cons

Why are we so selective in remembering the people who matter, wonders an old-timer.

BC: Hi, why the sad sack impersonation?

AD: Just reading a whole lot of touching tributes to Steve Jobs. It's almost a month since he passed away, and the messages are still pouring in...

BC: That's the impact the man has had on billions of lives. Incidentally, the world lost another genius exactly a week later.

AD: Who?

BC: Dennis Ritchie.

AD: Who was he?

BC: Isn't it ironical that we know Steve Jobs so well, but have hardly heard of Dennis Ritchie?

AD: It’s not. Steve Jobs designed devices that are so popular - from iMacs to iPods, iPads and iPhones...

BC: Dennis Ritchie was the father of C, the programming language, and he co-created the Unix operating system.

AD: So?

BC: Your browsers, servers and almost everything on the web, owe their origin to C or one of its derivatives. And most of the operating systems in existence today, including Apple's OS for all its devices are Unix-based.

AD: Really?

BC: Yes! So you see, if Steve Jobs was the guru of gizmos, Dennis Ritchie was considered the ‘man who shaped the digital era’.

AD: Interesting, but I'm surprised that you know about him.

BC: I read a brilliant piece about him on the web a fortnight ago... that was when I realised his contribution to our present world.

AD: The iPod and the Mac are so much a part of our lives... not quite the case with C.

BC: Is the ice cream scoop a part of your life?

AD: Guess so.

BC: Who invented it?

AD: I don't remember...

BC: In other words, you don't know. You wouldn't happen to know who invented the bottle opener or the dishwasher or the...

AD: Listen, spare me, I’m not into quizzing.

BC: If Steve Jobs is popular because he developed so many devices that we use on an everyday basis...

AD: But Steve Jobs gave us the latest in technology - the rest of your examples are mundane kitchen items...

BC: Technology? Let’s see... there have been so many versions of Apple computers over the decades. In less than five years, we have seen five generations of the iPhone. But do you know that the ice cream scoop has remained untouched by technology? It’s remained unchanged for over 110 years now…

AD: Really?

BC: Yes! So why should the ‘lowly’ ice cream scoop be any lesser than a modern device, especially when it is thumbing its nose at technology?

AD: Unless you're particular about a play on words, I don't see how anyone can compare an iPhone and icecream...

BC: The human mind is so fickle – on one hand, we fail to give credit where it's due, and on the other, we simply follow the mob. Today, even someone who hasn't heard of Apple computers is empowered to click a ‘like’ button on a eulogy to Steve Jobs.

AD: Look, I can use an iPhone or iPad to find out who Steve Jobs is. But I can eat all the ice cream in the world and it won’t lead me to the inventor of the ice cream scoop. Incidentally, who created it?

BC: Alfred L Cralle, an Afro-American inventor…

AD: Never heard of him…

BC: Perhaps he should have called it the i-scoop and advertised that it does not require a power source, maintenance or upgrades. Your generation would have i-dolised him for sure.

Smartboards, smarter kids?

Is technology that is entering classrooms really making kids smarter? An old-timer has his doubts…

BC: Hey, what’s this I see? The hand that clicks the mouse is holding a pen…

AD: Yes, I’m writing a letter to my grandmom. She refuses to read e-mails…

BC: You should have become a doctor.

AD: Hey, my handwriting’s not all that bad!

BC: I don’t blame it on you though…

AD: Let me guess, you’re going to blame it on technology.

BC: I shudder to think of the digital generation – or gen z as you call them. They just text, type, click...

AD: They seem to be doing just fine…

BC: Technology has taken over classrooms – I just can’t imagine classrooms with no blackboards…

AD: But smartboards are here - don’t they make learning fun?

BC: Isn’t it ironical that the same technology that helps them learn also prevents them from learning?

AD: What do you mean?

BC: Most of them hardly write, so their handwriting is… well, you need software to decode it. Besides, they don't know how to spell. A word processor takes care of the spelling and grammar.

AD: You just can’t write them off because…

BC: Forget writing, they can’t do mental calculations either. For instance, they can’t multiply to save their lives.

AD: Isn’t that why God created rabbits?

BC: Very funny! And what happens when students are extremely tech-savvy, but the teachers are averse to technology?

AD: Like you?

BC: I’ll ignore that… With online assignments and downloadable tests, how do teachers find out if the submission is original when students turn it in?

AD: By using turn it in.

BC: What was that?

AD: Turnitin.com is a web site that has a filter to detect plagiarised content, so teachers can spot assignments that have been copied.

BC: That would be a bitter pill to swallow for naughty students, wouldn’t it?

AD: Yes, that's possibly the reason why technology brings in something sweet as well.

BC: Like what?

AD: Sugar!

BC: Excuse me?

AD: Sugar is a desktop environment developed as part of the One Laptop per Child (OLPC) project for school kids. Quanta Computer has developed low-cost notebooks computers for the purpose.

BC: I can’t believe all this is happening. Students take notes on Google Docs, use chat to share ideas, discuss lessons on blogs...

AD: Teachers are not too far behind. I’ve heard of some using Twitter to send out assignments and reminders.

BC: In my days, we went to school to study and excel.

AD: And today?

BC: You need Excel to go to school and study.

AD: You’re talking about traditional schools. Did you know that almost 85 years ago, they were talking of schools in the air?

BC: You mean they were talking in the air about schools?

AD: No, they were talking about the radio as a medium of education, in the ‘30s…

BC: Small wonder that today, students are demanding that they be allowed to take their i-pods to class.

AD: I don’t know what you’re cribbing about. Do you know that as far back as in 1925, Thomas Edison remarked that books would soon be obsolete in schools and that scholars would be instructed through the eye?

BC: Edison was talking about the invention of the projector. And when he said ‘eye’, he was referring to the visual medium. Trust today's generation to interpret that as the 'i' in i-pads, i-phones and i-tunes…