Whatsapp guys?

Rapidly changing technology is making it difficult to stay in touch with friends, laments an old-timer.

AD: Hi, why the long face?

BC: Never thought keeping in touch with friends could be such a problem...

AD: Well, technology helps those who help themselves, but in your case…

BC: I can’t help it - things are changing so rapidly that...

AD: For years, man has been toying around with the need for speed. And now that it has happened, your problem is that it's all going too fast...

BC: Not too long back, I was happy to be introduced to email...

AD: Not too long back? That must have been around 15-16 years ago!

BC: Look, you must realise what a challenge it was for me to make the transition from writing letters to typing mails. And just when I was getting comfortable with email, my friends introduced me to this abomination called a ‘chat room’ where we could enter and chat as a group...

AD: I’ve read about Yahoo! Chat Rooms being pretty popular back then...

BC: I found them too annoying because we would continuously be interrupted by strangers - some of them would be downright abusive and we would have to leave the chat room...

AD: Yes, but...

BC: That was not the only problem - we were all on dial-ups. Just as everyone would assemble in a chat room, one or more of us would lose our connection - we would then have to dial up again, log in and find our friends online. I always needed help with that...

AD: I know, dial-ups were quite fickle, weren't they?

BC: Then came messenger and my friends insisted that I should download a messenger...

AD: Which one did you use?

BC: Mostly Yahoo! Messenger and occasionally MSN. But when Google Talk came along, my entire batch moved to it...

AD: It's funny trying to visualise a set of senior citizens chasing one messenger after another and trying to stay in touch...

BC: You make it sound like dogs chasing postmen. The real issue here was that unlike email, there’s no compatibility between various service providers. If your friends shift to something new, you are forced to follow suit.

AD: That problem still exists – it’s the same even with social networking sites…

BC: The messenger challenge improved with web cams and microphones coming into the scene - suddenly we didn't have to type. Everything was visual and aural. I really enjoyed that...

AD: And?

BC: Facebook happened… And all my friends moved to it. I tried telling them that it was for kids and that we were too old to be seen there, but none of them would listen...

AD: So that was how you became a Facebook user.

BC: I didn't have a choice - it was the only place where I could find my friends...

AD: So what's the problem now?

BC: Ever since mobiles became internet-enabled, they've all switched to WhatsApp and...

AD: I’m waiting…

BC: Now, my mobile keeps hanging ever since I activated a data pack…

AD: Look, if you have a problem with everything, you'll find it difficult to keep pace with technology...

BC: I know. I'm most tempted to turn around and go back to the good old days...

AD: Too late - they've even phased out telegrams, so you're stuck...

BC: It’s annoying - the harder I try to keep in touch with my friends, the more isolated technology is making me feel...

AD: So what’re you going to do about it?

BC: I’m trying to get the group together at Bessy…

AD: Is that a new social networking site? Funny how I haven’t heard of it and you have… Did you google it and…

BC: Good heavens, I was referring to the beach in my neighbourhood. And you’re right in a way - long before the internet came into our lives, Bessy used to be the quintessential ‘site’ for social networking amongst the younger generation. 

I’m quitting, here’s my video

When you have technology on your side, you can dance your way out of a job, claims a tech fan.

BC: Hi, why the pained look?

AD: I've had enough of my job...

BC: So why don't you quit?

AD: Like Marina Shifrin?

BC: What do you mean?

AD: She worked for an animation company, and made a resignation video that featured her dancing to a popular track...

BC: Quite innovative, but why go through all that trouble?  

AD: I know, but her video has garnered almost 16 million hits online, making her famous the world over. Now she has also been offered a job by Queen Latifah - a singer, actor and producer in Hollywood – during a talk show on prime time TV.

BC: Looks like technology can make anyone famous these days. So how did her ex-employer handle this?

AD: They made their own video in response to hers, showcasing their cool working conditions…

BC: Now, that really takes the cake…

AD: In fact, Marina's video seems to be inspiring other people to make their 'I quit' videos – there’s one from Brenna Jennings, a work-from-home mother that has become a hit.

BC: I don’t know what to say…

AD: Well, there's more - after Queen Latifah, Y&R Israel, an international advertising agency offered her a job too, through a video that they uploaded on YouTube...

BC: Is the whole world going mad?

AD: Nope, it's just going viral. The Y&R video has had over 50,000 views and a few people asking if they could take up the job in case Marina refused it...

BC: Where's all this going?

AD: I don't know about that, but right now, the video's going places, the battle is going on in Twitter, and…

BC: …people are going crazy trying to find out which of the offers Marina will take up.

AD: Absolutely! And talking of Twitter, Paula Abdul, a famous singer who was a judge in American Idol for eight seasons, used the social media site to quit the show in 2009.

BC: Well, looks like technology is the ultimate beneficiary.

AD: How do you say that?

BC: YouTube is having millions of hits from all these videos, Facebook and Twitter are being kept busy, and...

AD: We used technology in a different way in my earlier job - we had four templates for resignation letters stashed away in the company’s server and no one knew about it.

BC: Why four?

AD: Each had a different opening, a different closing line and a different reason for quitting. Employees could take their pick and then print it out, with suitable modifications. Tell me, would this be possible without technology?

BC: Such a furore over quitting a job - heaven help us...

AD: But there have been other instances as well - there was this designer who sent an error message as his resignation letter to his boss, with buttons for Ignore, Renegotiate and HR...

BC: I’m just happy that I don't have to work in this crazy world.

AD: It would have been a funny sight to see you quit like this in your times…

BC: What do you mean?

AD: Without digital cameras and digital storage media, you would have had to use archaic movie cameras to shoot yourself, add audio to the tapes, carry huge spools of film to the office and leave it on your boss's table, just to tell him that you are quitting. And your boss would have had to hire a projector and a screen, shut out the lights and watch the film to know that you've quit…

BC: Technology was backward back then...

AD: Perhaps, but now, all it takes to get your boss to see your resignation video is an upload onto a social networking site - and a forward. 

Password? It’s at my fingertip!

Technology has moved passwords from the tip of your tongue to the tip of your fingers, claims a tech fan.

AD: Hey, do you know that Apple is coming out with a new typewriter called iType?

BC: What???

AD: Now that I have your attention, here’s the real news – Apple has launched the iPhone 5s with Touch ID.

BC: What's that?

AD: Amazing how your question remains unchanged regardless of whether it’s a typewriter or an iPhone. Touch ID is a biometric system that uses your fingerprint as a security device to unlock your mobile. So your fingerprint becomes your digital signature or your password...

BC: But what if I hurt my fingers? What if they're bandaged or have a plaster on them? What if I nick them while...

AD: Hold on, you can record up to five fingerprints, so any of them can be used.

BC: But think of all those people who use their hands and their fingers at work - musicians, homemakers who cook and wash, writers who type non-stop... So what'll they use if their fingers get worn out - their pet's paw print?

AD: Well, a cat's paw print has already been used to unlock the 5s, but that’s because it was registered as one of the five possible impressions that can unlock the phone.

BC: So how long does it take to unlock a phone using Touch ID?

AD: Possibly a second - the amazing part is that you don't have to place the finger in the same way that you did when you registered the fingerprint. The sensor is smart enough to detect the impression from any angle...

BC: Computers, phones, digital music players, tablets - and now fingerprint recognition. I can't see where Apple is going with this...

AD: In fact, Apple planned for this over a year ago and bought over a company called AuthenTec, which specialises in fingerprint readers and ID management software.

BC: But is it safe? There are so many instances of hacking that we read about...

AD: Ok, a hacking team that calls itself the Chaos Computer Club seems to have confirmed your worst fears - it claims to have cracked the security system and has even posted videos of how it went about it. This happened less than three days after the launch... And wipe that smug expression off your face.

BC: So how has the response been to Touch ID and to the 5s?

AD: According to reports, over six million customers have ordered the 5s in the first weekend of its launch...

BC: Great, so that's six million fingerprints, and with five options each, it's 30 million in all. Where are all these fingerprints stored?

AD: I see where you're going with this. Your fingerprints are digitally encrypted and stored in your mobile's processor, so in case you think Apple has access to them or that they are all stored in a central server, waiting to be hacked...

BC: But I still don't understand all this fuss over unlocking a phone.

AD: Isn't using your finger to unlock the device a lot simpler than entering a 4-digit passcode each time?

BC: There have been other instances where fingerprint authentication has been tried out, but has not proved to be very successful...

AD: The latest technology is fine-tuning the whole process. It's not just Apple - other mobile manufacturers are also throwing in their lot with fingerprint identity sensors. Computers and tablets are also following suit...

BC: So what happens if I've left my mobile home and my wife wants to use it?

AD: There's always a backup - you can opt to use the regular passcode, as with all iPhones. In fact, there's also an option by which you can choose to disable Touch ID.

BC: With half the world choosing to use 1234 as the passcode, I'm not sure which is scarier of the two – a finger that's broken or a security feature that can easily be broken into.

When the office comes home...

‘Technology has made it possible to bring the office home, but can it keep the two apart?’ An old-timer wonders...

BC: Hi, what's the matter? It's almost noon and you still haven't gone to work...

AD: Actually, I'm at work.

BC: I don't understand...

AD: I'm going to be telecommuting for the next six months...

BC: Tele-what? Is that what they do in Star Trek when they magically appear in some other place?

AD: No, that's teleportation. Telecommuting is about working from home – or any remote location - with the help of technology…

BC: What's new about that? Even when you sit in your office, you use a lot of technology...

AD: Precisely! That’s why companies have now begun to allow employees to work from home. They can reach us by mail or over the phone. Or I could get on to Skype or a chat session. Teleconferencing, video conferences, file sharing – I can do them all from home. And at the end of the day, I wrap up and mail my work across and that's that.

BC: I can't imagine working from home.

AD: Why not?

BC: Because to me, home is an area of calm. It’s the place I come back to after weathering many a storm – at the workplace, at client meetings and in traffic. If you're going to drag the office home, you're bringing along the stress and the pressures of work to your bedroom. So how are you…

AD: Well, with laptops, smartphones and tablets, work moved into our homes long before you realised it. So why not formalise the arrangement?

BC: But how do you end a working day? Where do you draw the line between work and personal life when both are fighting to coexist in the same place?

AD: That calls for time management and good planning. Besides, look at the positives - no more strenuous drives in peak hours, no more traffic jams, no more office politics…

BC: For years, man has been deputing technology to do his work for him. And somewhere along the way, technology has made a backdoor entry into his house and has programmed his life in a way that, instead of waking up and checking out the sunrise from his window, he ends up booting up Windows and checking his mails as soon as he gets up.

AD: But you can spend more time with the family, both because you can work from home and because you save time on commutes.

BC: You're kidding me! You'll probably use up all that time updating your status messages and checking out forwards...

AD: Look at other positives - you don't have to dress up any longer to go to work. I'm sure you would have liked that...

BC: In fact, half the people these days look like they crawled out of bed and went straight to work. Regardless of all that you say, I foresee lots of problems with working from home...

AD: Like what?

BC: You can't call in sick. You can't crib about your boss. You can't catch up on watercooler gossip. You'll never know how much the next guy is making...

AD: As always, you need to find something to crib about, don't you? Besides, this is not about you. The current generation loves it, so...

BC: I'm sure they do. I'm also sure that school kids these days must be wondering why their folks are forever having that zombie expression on their faces and are lounging around all day at home in their nightclothes while they have to wear their uniforms and go to school, five days a week. I’m not sure if they’ll thank technology for it.

AD: Despite all that you say, more and more people are now getting inspired to work from home…

BC: Guess I need to start going to the office too…

AD: I thought you were retired…

BC: I was. But, now that your generation is going to work from home, I guess workplaces will be a lot more peaceful...

When earthlings turn Martians

‘Technology finally gives mankind an out-of-this-world experience – in Mars,’ announces a tech fan.

AD: Hi, did you apply to go to Mars?

BC: Do you know that it’s a one-way ticket? Why would anyone want to go there?

AD: Landing on the moon was nothing more than a Tintin adventure for decades, until it really happened. As for Mars, it has been the subject of several sci-fi movies and spoofs, until Mars One announced this trip…

BC: It sounds more like a horror movie – imagine people volunteering, knowing that they’ll never return! News has it that arrangements will be done to cremate those who die there...

AD: Initially, 40 candidates will be shortlisted and trained, from which four will finally make it. So why would anyone want to miss out on this chance?

BC: Haven't you read about the Mars curse? There have been so many missions to Mars in the past decades that have failed at various stages...

AD: Perhaps technology will evolve enough in the coming decade to undo the curse and also prolong lives...

BC: In that case, why don't you use technology and find a way to bring the space passengers back? Surely, you are aware that the reason they're staying on is because we haven't figured out a way of powering the return journey...

AD: You never know - they might come up with something by then. Can you believe that the application fee is between $25 and $38, depending on the country one is from? That's probably cheaper than a video game featuring a Martian attack...

BC: But I read that the mission will cost over $6 billion... They will probably need half the United States to apply, for them to cover the costs....

AD: While the reports say that over 165,000 have already applied, I'm not sure how many more will, because the maiden flight will carry only two males and two females. However, they're planning to follow it up with a second flight in 2025.

BC: All these numbers and dates make my head spin - are these guys serious? Is this really going to happen? It sounds like a George Lucas film that's coming to life...

AD: Apparently, a couple of commercial cargo missions have already been made. Besides, they're going to start various missions to Mars to create a settlement there, sometime in 2016. The landing systems will also be tested several times to ensure that all goes well...

BC: What happens if they fall sick or if there's an emergency?

AD: Well, they'll have to handle it themselves...

BC: Are you telling me that while cremation facilities are being made, there will be no medical facilities?

AD: Look, you can't plan for contingencies, but you can plan for certainties, right? But jokes apart, the chosen candidates will be given training for around seven years. Do you know that over 8000 Indians have applied?

BC: Can't blame them. Think of the rising fuel costs - $25 can't cover a person’s fuel costs for a week, but now...

AD: ...it can get him to Mars.

BC: Right! And how long does it take to reach Mars?

AD: Around seven months.

BC: And once they're gone, how will the world know about them?

AD: There will be extensive media coverage, and everything from the shortlisting of astronauts and the final selection, to their voyage will be covered by the electronic media.

BC: So that's the miracle that technology's giving you - a one-way space voyage and a long-lasting reality show on TV. What about Facebook updates? I can see a ‘Yuck, Mars is so dusty’ message coming up…

AD: Stop being cynical about it. Isn't this expedition bringing together the best of science, telecom, space technology and...?

BC: More than what it brings together, I'm excited about what it can take away...

AD: I don't get you.

BC: How about nominating all those people you don't want to see on earth? Isn't it a great way to clean up the planet?

When newspapers make headlines…

Evolving technology and changing habits are making things tougher for newspapers, claims a tech fan.

BC: What do you think the future will be like?

AD: What happened? Read something terrible in the newspapers today?

BC: No, I read something terrible about the newspapers today.

AD: What do you mean?

BC: Well, newspapers formally began their journey with printed editions in the late 1600s. 300 years later, they extended their reach to the online medium. Soon, we began to have digital versions of newspapers. And now, we’ve reached a point where online newspapers have more takers...

AD: That's because they’re more convenient and certainly more updated...

BC: As a result, the print version began to vanish and web-only newspapers began to thrive. And now, we hear websites buying over newspapers - a far cry from the days when newspapers powered news portals to extend their presence online...

AD: Ok, now I get it... You're obviously upset by Jeff Bezos buying over Washington Post.

BC: But Bezos is not the first tech celebrity to buy a newspaper - Chris Hughes, the co-founder of Facebook bought The New Republic, but...

AD: What are you trying to say?

BC: Technology played a crucial role in ruining the newspaper industry - and now you claim it is rushing to the aid of a struggling newspaper.

AD: Look at it this way - if Bezos plans to marry tradition and technology, we could then have ‘The Washington E-Post’, a futuristic e-paper that could look like something straight out of a Harry Potter book or a Spielberg movie...

BC: I don't think the value of a newspaper can be expressed enough to this generation. When I was working, I remember starting the day with the front pages, reserving the sports and entertainment sections for the train ride to my client's place, and finally solving the crossword, word jumble and other puzzles on my way back from work. By the end of the day, I would have pored through every section of the paper...

AD: Look, it's about business and profits, not about emotions and nostalgia... Besides, who has the time for that today?

BC: Today's generation has all the time in the world for forwards, for posting status messages about burnt toast and for checking their status updates a hundred times a day, but then, where's the time to read a newspaper?

AD: But they’re getting their news feed by the minute on their mobiles - accept the fact that newspapers are losing out to their smarter e-versions…

BC: How can newspapers compete with an adversary that offers services free of cost? In fact, it is a double whammy because with more people preferring digital newspapers worldwide, the traditional print media is not only losing its readership, but also its advertising revenue - with readership dropping, advertisers are also moving away towards the electronic media.

AD: How can you blame them for moving towards where the eyeballs are? Besides, this is nothing new. Radio was challenged by TV, which is being challenged by the internet. It's all about reinventing yourself and keeping pace with the times...

BC: What rankles the industry is the fact that people can go straight to Google News and get all the news they want, free of cost. It's like a free online library...

AD: Google is actually directing readers to different newspaper sites - according to statistics, the site facilitates around six billion hits to various newspaper sites.

BC: But at the rate at which things are going, Google might be playing a much bigger role than we can ever imagine.

AD: How?

BC: All along, we used Google to search for news and information. Now, we might have to use it to locate the whereabouts of the newspapers that are vanishing from the scene.

The day the music died…

An old-timer cribs about the one thing that music can do without, but is forced to live with – technology.

AD: Hey, what are you listening to?

BC: Some vintage wonders from the 60s. They simply don't...

AD: ...make such music any more, right?

BC: It's clichéd, but true, isn't it? There's something so simple and nice about those songs that makes you want to close your eyes and lose yourself in them...

AD:  Why would you want to compare music from two different eras?

BC: Technology is the key difference - its excessive use is bringing down the standard of music today, especially in the movies...

AD: Why do you say that?

BC: Music seems to be created more by computers and software than by composers today. Back then, we had songs played out by large orchestras. Imagine all those violins and flutes and...

AD: Today's music is snappy and is obviously loved by the present generation, otherwise it wouldn't continue to exist.

BC: But there's no soul in most of the songs we hear today. They don't draw you into their world... Synthetic, metallic and noisy are the kind of adjectives that one would choose to describe today's music...

AD: Those are sweeping statements, probably based on what you've listened to... Movie songs are so vastly different across languages... the south possibly prefers music with a local flavour, while Hindi numbers are getting increasingly westernized...

BC: But technology has changed the way music is composed - so much of it is pre-programmed and the focus seems to be on mixing it right and not on creating fresh music.

AD: If not for technology, a lot of old-world music could be lost forever... Thanks to digital technology, several songs that would otherwise have been wiped out have been restored. There was an interesting article a couple of months back about how scientists used X-rays to restore a 200-year old opera...

BC: Ah, it must have revealed the skeletal structure of the song… But seriously speaking, I don’t have a problem with technology. It’s only that we seem to rely so heavily on it to...

AD: And what about the treasure trove of old songs that video sites like YouTube offers us? Practically every song and every piece of music that you would want to listen to or search for is available online...

BC: iTunes' library is equally impressive...

AD: Even accessing these songs has become simpler, as these songs are forwarded and shared many times over on social networking sites...

BC: I have a friend who shares old songs with little gems of information about them on Facebook...

AD: I know, I get those links too. And what about mobile downloads? You don't even have to carry a CD player any longer - your mobile has become your personal music player...

BC: Today, iPods and mp3 players have wiped out the music stores and several CD labels…

AD: And all those services with free downloads will eat into the market share of paid services like iTunes, Deezer and Spotify. That’s the point - technology keeps evolving, but the music continues…

BC: I recall an article that talked about a cellular service provider making more money through song downloads than music companies...

AD: That's right. Can you imagine the joy of carrying a thousand songs in your pocket?

BC: The problem is that when you get addicted to downloads, quantity scores over the finer aspects of a song. I get the feeling that people are spending more time downloading songs than they are, listening to them.

AD: But think of the advantages - there was a time when you had to hunt around for LP records or wait for the radio to play your favourite songs. But now, you can download them in about a minute.

BC: That timeframe is quite significant.

AD: Why, because downloads have become that fast?

BC: No, because that's all the time that people remember a song for. After that, it's time to move on to the next big chartbuster...