No technology for old men

Today’s youngsters think that technology can take care of their parents while they live abroad, claims a senior citizen.

AD: Hi, what’s up? You seem pretty upset.

BC: Just got back from my neighbour’s place. I get all worked up when I see someone choose another country as their home and expect technology to bridge the gap between them and their folks...

AD: I don't understand...

BC: Most people settled abroad think that they've done their duty by calling their parents a couple of times a week. They simply don't understand that it doesn't make up for their absence back home...

AD: Not all of them…

BC: Even if they take a vacation, they would rather holiday at some exotic place than visit their parents.

AD: Look, life abroad is not as rosy as you think it is... Besides, in today’s world, you have to find ways of keeping in touch – e-mails, Facebook, chats...

BC: Not all senior citizens are comfortable with technology. It's so difficult to learn something new after a particular age, especially for those who have never stepped out of their homes...

AD: There are so many ways to learn these days... And there's online help as well.

BC: What if even getting online is a problem for them?

AD: But it’s so easy to operate services like Skype…

BC: There we go again - even if they learn to operate a laptop, turn the internet on and sit in front of the camera, they begin to panic if the image freezes or the audio doesn't work for a few seconds, because they don't know what's going wrong...

AD: But operating a mobile is easy, right? And there are several apps that can help them to...

BC: You're looking at things from your viewpoint. You were born with all this technology around you. In their case, they are having their grandchildren teach them things. There's a big difference... Some of them are uncomfortable, others get intimidated.

AD: So why are you blaming technology for it?

BC: Because its presence is what makes today's generation think that it’s fine to keep in touch with parents back home through some new-fangled device. They don’t realise that the older lot will also be forced to adopt the same technology in order to respond.

AD: But technology is getting friendly…

BC: Hardly! Electronic goods manufacturers are so keen on making products child-friendly or child-proof, but unfortunately, when it comes to the older lot, they show scant regard...

AD: Why, what do you want them to do?

BC: What about special mobile phones for senior citizens who are probably not very comfortable with the current smartphones or the tiny keypads in regular mobiles? What about computers that are voice-enabled...

AD: There are mobiles, computer keyboards and tablets designed especially for the older users...

BC: But I haven't seen much on the shelves here. I hope you aren’t going to suggest that they buy these gadgets online…

AD: Don’t you think senior citizens need to embrace the changing world?

BC: You also need to consider the other problems of old age - failing eyesight, trembling hands, a nervous disposition, poor memory...

AD: That's the reason why technology has ushered in a concept known as pervasive computing. Based on this, computers - equipped with sensors and requisite software - observe and learn more about a person's habits non-intrusively. Soon, they become familiar with a senior citizen's habits and take over as a guide, in case his memory fails him or if he forgets to do something, like take his medicines, for instance.

BC: Sounds good, but these things need to move from being a dazzling experiment to a way of life for us to feel their utility.

AD: So what are you trying to say? That technology is a senior citizen’s biggest enemy?

BC: You’re exaggerating, but the point is, people abroad must understand that filial duties go beyond swinging by once in a while and gifting their folks an iPad.

The technopathic cure

No other branch of medicine has leveraged technology the way allopathy has done, claims a youngster, taking on his older counterpart.

AD: Hi, so how's your migraine now? Did you see the doctor?

BC: I did, he's given me some oil and a powder mix that needs to be taken with...

AD: Why didn't you go see an allopathic doctor? What if a scan or some tests have to be done?

BC: I prefer natural medicines - they have no side effects.

AD: Wouldn’t it have been better to be diagnosed and treated by a proven branch of medicine that’s backed by technology?

BC: Well, natural forms of treatment originated long before allopathy, but are still relevant - doesn't that tell you how effective and well-thought out they are?

AD: Sure, but today, we’re afflicted with so many complications – and it takes technology to identify them.

BC: Maybe, but not all ailments need technology...

AD: It's not about using technology in isolation - it's about integrating it with every aspect of medicine. The Western system has intensive research done which is aided by technology, and billions of dollars are spent every year in understanding symptoms and producing medicines...

BC: But after all the diagnosis, it's the pharma companies that dictate the cure, don't they? It's become a money spinner...

AD: You're deviating - we're talking about the efficacy of the treatment and how technology aids it.

BC: Allopathy has the backing of the Western world and that explains its popularity...

AD: Incidentally, the West has now pioneered an advanced form of laser surgery to remove brain tumour based on a new technology called SRS microscopy that allows them to see the minutest portions of the brain tissue. And SRS stands for Stimulated Raman Scattering, named after Sir C V Raman. So there's an Indian influence there as well...

BC: That's an honour to the great man, but it's a fact that in our bid to look for quick relief, we're ignoring our wonderful healing systems...

AD: What about fields like gynaecology and obstetrics? Imagine where we would be if technology didn’t result in Doppler ultrasonography or CT scans...

BC: Sure, but for thousands of years before scan centres came up, women have been delivering babies. Since we have the technology, we're trying to make use of it.

AD: Speaking of scans, do you know that the imaging technologies available in operation theatres are now accessible to general physicians too? A handheld device based on a technology called Optical Coherence Tomography (OCT) is now empowering them to...

BC: Sorry, but OCT is all OHT to me.

AD: And what about robot-assisted surgery? It can pull off the most intricate surgery with precision...

BC: Look into our ancient medical treatises – several complicated surgeries have been recorded. And they were done before modern technology came into existence.

AD: However, remote surgical intervention is a modern concept surely... I read an article about a doctor in New York performing a gallbladder operation on a patient in France. It calls for computers, artificial intelligence and...

BC: All I can say is that we are endowed with a lot of natural intelligence to fall back upon, so...

AD: Isn’t it true that a branch of medicine like homeopathy actually gives you the disease-causing substance in small, diluted doses? There have been several questions raised regarding this...

BC: If that's the case, PET - Positron Emission Tomography - scanning involves injecting the patient with a small dose of radioactive material. Would you rather accept that?

AD: Think of it as technology's miracle, because the effects are the same as that of an X-ray. I can continue telling you about how technology has aided remote surgery through the Asynchronous Transfer Mode, or ATM...

BC: The ATM has another big role to play as well...

AD: What’s that?

BC: With medical treatment becoming prohibitively expensive, it's the first place every patient will need to visit before he goes to a hospital.

Shootout at Gangstar Vegas

“Back then, indoor games were about killing time - today, they’re about killing people,” claims an old-timer.

AD: Hi, so how did you spend New Year's Eve?

BC: It was a family reunion of sorts - we watched a movie, played some board games after ages...

AD: A quiet evening, huh?

BC: You're right. There's something about these old-fashioned games - they help bring the family together...

AD: Are you suggesting that today’s computer games split families?

BC: Well, look at all the hi-tech games - kids don't want to be disturbed when they're playing. Have you tried walking into their room when they’re halfway through a game?

AD: But there are also games which can be played against one another or as teams. Online games can involve several players at the same time.

BC: How does that help? You’re still cut off from your family and would rather play with friends and classmates...

AD: Back then, you lived in large joint families, so these games were ideal for such settings. Besides, there was very little to occupy you, especially when it was too hot or was raining outside...

BC: But they just didn’t serve to kill time – they aided various forms of development. Playing Scrabble helped build your vocabulary. Games like Battleships and Monopoly helped one strategize. And games like Cluedo were all about deduction and…

AD: The games that kids love playing today are good too. They help develop character traits that are needed for today...

BC: Like what? What do kids learn from Grand Theft Auto? To shoot everyone? Or to drive like a maniac?

AD: I was referring to dexterity and hand-eye coordination...

BC: That’s funny – back in my days, building blocks and jigsaw puzzles where what came to mind when you mentioned motor skill development...

AD: Much as you dislike the fact, we have evolved. Today's kids are so exposed to everything that technology has to offer, so how can you expect them to go back to such trivial pursuits?

BC: That brings to mind Trivial Pursuit, a wonderful board game. Now, that offered general knowledge, excitement and a keen sense of competition...

AD: Well, it has Xbox and online versions too, so kids can play them now...

BC: I can imagine a family dividing itself into teams and sitting around a large board in the living room, but how can players crowd around a little monitor? It would look like they're trying to invoke the spirits on an Ouija Board...

AD: But millions have taken to these games... Tomb Raider or The Last of Us are on top of the popularity charts, so why are you having problems?

BC: Think of all the violence bloodshed and gore in these games. Most of them seem to involve the mafia, gangsters, zombies, aliens, killers, mercenaries or bounty hunters… And it takes greed and manipulative actions needed to win. They could be influenced by these traits...

AD: C'mon, you're over-reacting...

BC: And I'm not even getting to the part where kids spend hours with theirs PSPs, mobiles and tablets and consequently risk several health disorders...

AD: So how does playing Chinese Checkers with your grandmother make you fit?

BC: The point is, today's games have become addictive, unlike the board games of my era which would make an appearance only during weekends, holidays and vacations... That left us with a lot of time for other activities...

AD: But Wii games are pretty good - they combine hours of gaming with physical activity. That's the magic of technology, see?

BC: Agreed, but the new generation is slowly abandoning the physically challenging games for their handheld mobile and PC counterparts...

AD: Looks like nothing I say is going to convince you…

BC: It’s just that I don't know where all this is leading...

AD: What do you mean?

BC: The other day, I was discussing a spiritual tour to various places of worship - and my nephew wanted to know if that was the senior citizen's version of Temple Run... 

The skim scam

Despite all the technology backing banks, credit cards and debit cards, the customer is forced to play blind, claims an old-timer.

BC: Did you read the news?

AD: Yes, apparently teetotallers don't live as long as...

BC: Oh c'mon, I wasn't referring to that. Did you read the news where a bank fell prey to an e-mail scam?

AD: I did, it's pretty unfortunate that one of their accountholders lost money...

BC: I'm shocked - not just because he lost Rs. 63 lakhs for no fault of his, but because a fake email could fool a banking institution into releasing money from his account. Apparently, even his fixed deposits were liquidated...

AD: Yes, but stray occurrences like these tend to happen...

BC: If banks didn't entertain email transactions, this wouldn't have happened.

AD: What are you trying to say?

BC: Technology is being introduced to make things more convenient, but it has a flip side that can be pretty damaging...

AD: You reached this conclusion on the basis of this one incident?

BC: Of course not! I keep getting these mails about some new rule or about the need for some identification that the bank requires – so which ones do I trust and which ones do I ignore? And it certainly doesn't make me feel any better knowing that banks are getting confused too.

AD: But banks have several security checks in place for your online transactions...

BC: Do you know the number of technology glitches that have been reported by the papers in the past fortnight? A bunch of school dropouts were nabbed in Lucknow for accessing details of accountholders of a particular bank and transferring funds from their accounts online.

AD: In this case, they called these customers and asked for their password over the phone, so you can't blame technology for that...

BC: There were seven arrests made in West Bengal and Bihar where the culprits had sent fake mails and messages, collected account details, opened bank accounts under different names and were running a full-fledged racket across the country, with several others involved. Now, all this would not be possible if not for technology...

AD: Look, despite consistent warnings that they shouldn't share their account information with strangers, many customers actually...

BC: And what about that email supposedly sent by the Reserve Bank of India Governor Raghuram Rajan? Did you read about that?

AD: I did, it was the one promising the recipient a couple of crores and asked for their bank details, wasn't it? But RBI did clarify that the mail was a hoax…

BC: That's right. But the point is, it's not just individuals who are getting gypped, even companies are being hoodwinked. A private firm lost Rs. 10 lakh from its account because its net banking password was hacked. 

AD: Ok, it's happening everywhere, but...

BC: And I'm not even getting into credit card and debit card scams. Did you read about that poor guy who was cheated of Rs. 42,000 in a credit card scam in Delhi? Or about that guy in Bangalore who used fake cards and withdrew money from ATMs?

AD: Luckily, the guilty have been arrested. But you are aware of the new debit card rule issued by RBI, right? You will not just have to sign on the receipt for each transaction, but will also have to enter your PIN into the machine.

BC: I did get a mail to the effect...

AD: Cards are also moving from magnetic strip technology to chip technology...

BC: Well, they better do something about the technology because according to news reports, Indians have lost over Rs. 220 crore in 2011. All this scheming...

AD: You mean skimming... That’s how they collect vital information of accountholders from ATMs and from card machines…

BC: Well, originally skimming referred to the process of removing the cream from milk.

AD: Yes, but that’s healthy…

BC: That depends, but now I know why profitable ventures are called cash cows…

AD: I’m waiting…

BC: First they milk customers dry and then, someone else tricks them and takes away all the cream. 

Honey, I blew up the mobile

If you think technology’s making things smaller, take a look at the mobile, says an old-timer.

AD: Hey, I tried calling you all of last week - why didn't you take my calls?

BC: You did? Sorry, my mobile is down and I'm using an old mobile that has no contacts, so I never know who's calling.

AD: I guess that explains why you aren't on WhatsApp either...

BC: It’s an old flip phone with no modern technology like Wi-Fi, net connectivity, Bluetooth, apps...

AD: That’s terrible - you must be feeling totally stuck...

BC: On the contrary, I'm perfectly fine with it. It's just the key pad that needs a bit of getting used to...

AD: How can you be happy with a phone that facilitates only calls and messages?

BC: Isn't that what a phone's supposed to do? Besides, this phone has its own advantages...

AD: I'm all ears...

BC: Since it has none of the new-fangled technology, I hardly use it and the charge seems to last forever. Earlier, I had to charge my smartphone every morning...

AD: And now?

BC: I need to charge this mobile just once a week. I can't tell you how liberating it is... There's no fear of the battery dying on you midway through a call. 

AD: But that's no big deal - you can charge a mobile anywhere these days - in your car, from your laptop, at the airport or even in trains...

BC: And the old mobile is so sturdy. It has already fallen a few times in the past couple of weeks - there's not even a dent on it and it's working fine. These new smartphones are so flimsy that a little tap somewhere and the screen cracks, or the touch panel goes for a toss...

AD: They're sophisticated, so you need to handle them with care...

BC: I prefer the rugged phones – they are more suited for guys like me. It's not about carelessness - even if there's a little mishap, these modern phones have very little chance of surviving it...

AD: You have butter fingers and yet blame technology...

BC: Look, I can't help it - they are so unwieldy...

AD: What do you mean?

BC: When mobiles came in, the common crib was that they were bulky and huge. Soon, mobiles became sleeker and smaller. Remember that ad for Ericsson mobile?

AD: That 'one black coffee please’ ad? Yes, I've seen it on YouTube.

BC: Things could have stayed that way, but people were keen on using the phone to read text and surf the net, and so the screen started becoming bigger and bigger. Today, a 5-inch screen seems to be the norm...

AD: If it's smaller, you can't...

BC: ...check mail, operate your Facebook account, play games, watch movies... I don’t do any of that. But I find it difficult to handle these large-screen phones and carry them in my pocket. They can slip out any time - and you blame me instead...

AD: But you’re blaming technology…

BC: Think about it… On one hand, technology's trying to make things smaller - the laptop has become smaller and smaller until it's become a tablet in our hands. Handheld video games, CDs, thumb drives – they’re all getting smaller. But mobiles that were small are now getting bigger... I fail to understand the logic when bigger objects are getting more compact while the smaller ones are being blown up.

AD: It depends on the usage and convenience - why blame technology for it?

BC: Well, it's just funny that the latest mobiles now need a watch to operate them.

AD: You got it wrong. That's...

BC: I know, it’s just an accessory… But this whole trend of having an external device to help you operate your mobile could be a dangerous indication of things to come…

AD: Why do you say that?

BC: Well, it could probably mean that one day, the mobile is going to get as big as the TV and will need a remote to operate it.  

Me and my selfie

Love is in the air, but thanks to technology, people are falling in love with themselves, claims an old-timer.

AD: Hi, what's the Oxford English Dictionary doing on your desk?

BC: I'm planning to give it away...

AD: Why, did you buy the latest version?

BC: No, I'm shattered that they've begun introducing strange words into their dictionary...

AD: Like what?

BC: Like selfie - sounds like it's short for selfish.

AD: It's the term used to describe people taking shots of themselves...

BC:...and posting it online. You don't have to explain.

AD: Of course! Both social media and the print media are full of articles, pictures and descriptions of what the word means and how it is becoming so popular.

BC: But imagine Oxford English Dictionary recognizing it as an…

AD: Look, you can’t argue with success, can you? It has been crowned the most popular word of 2013. And for your information, it has not been included in the Oxford English Dictionary – it is part of Oxford Dictionary Online.

BC: Interesting, but why would people want to keep shooting photos of themselves and post it online?

AD: Look, when they posted their holiday photos, you had a problem with it. When they posted photos of their pets, you cribbed. And they can't post photos of their kids winning the lime-and-spoon race, of their morning breakfast or of a view of the sky from their window, according to you. So that leaves them with no option, but to post their own photos...

BC: But why this compulsive need to click themselves? I find it strange that even celebrities indulge in it… On one hand, they fight with photographers and complain about invasion of their privacy - and on the other, they keep clicking themselves and uploading the photos on...

AD: It's just a fad - and like any other wave, this will rage on and on and will fade out once the next big thing comes up...

BC: That's the problem with technology… Look what it has reduced all of us to - we're becoming so full of ourselves.

AD: Wait, don't tell me that selfies began with Facebook and Instagram...

BC: Reports have it that over 90 million images uploaded on Instagram each month are selfies, with the hashtag #me.

AD: Go back to the era of instant photo boothsand polaroids…Remember how teenagers rushed to those tiny cubicles and had their mugs shot?

BC: At least they didn't show it off to the world...

AD: Pity they didn’t have social media back then… And what about the era before that? Everyone wanted their portraits hanging on the wall to show off that...

BC: That wasn't a selfie - it was an artist painting them...

AD: Isn't that still indulgence? Portraits came at a cost, but thanks to technology, taking a digital photo and uploading it on a social networking site are both free of cost...

BC: But I still don't get it - how could a word like 'selfie' be declared the word of the year?

AD: Look, Oxford Dictionary chose it simply because of its popularity - they didn't come up with the word, for heaven's sake. Besides, would you rather have 'twerk' as the word of the year? Apparently, it was one of the words being considered for the title - and with Miley Cyrus making it popular...

BC: I would rather have twerp chosen in the place of twerk - and don't ask me what it means, please look it up...

AD: Talking of twerps, you haven't met the more exciting cousin of selfie - called belfie - have you?

BC: Who's that?

AD: It's not a who, it's a what... People apparently post pictures of their bottom and it's called a...

BC: I could do without such trivia, but it makes me wonder what Narcissus would have done with a digital camera?

AD: He's the guy who fell in love with his own reflection, right? What about him?

BC: Would he have clicked selfies of himself, of his reflection or of himself looking at his reflection?

Putting the social into social media

‘Why is social media suddenly going overboard in its attempt to create social relevance?’ An old-timer wonders.

AD: Hi, you seem deep in thought...

BC: Nothing, just wondering about how the human mind works...

AD: Ah, so what were you reading last night - Freud or Sherlock Holmes?

BC: Neither - I was reading about the buzz created online by an ad for gold jewellery...

AD: Why, didn't you like the ad?

BC: Oh, I thought it was truly clutter-breaking in terms of its scripting and was fabulously shot.

AD: So you have a problem with the ad going viral?

BC: Not at all. On the contrary, I'm happy that so many people have appreciated a good ad. You can't say the same of movies, where the bad ones find overwhelming acceptance and the good ones, a mere clap or two.

AD: So what's the problem?

BC: I'm just amazed at social media's constant search to glorify something, even if it means reading non-existent subtext...

AD: Hold on, you're losing me...

BC: I would have been happy if the ad had been circulated because it was a great ad. Instead, it has suddenly been anointed as the voice that speaks out for widow remarriage and...

AD: That isn't subtext - that's the script! It's about a woman who gets married again.

BC: I know that - but look at what social media has turned an ad for wedding jewellery into...

AD: But it's looking at the current societal changes - or it's at least looking forward to such changes in society.

BC: Correction - the ad's selling jewellery. It's social media that's looking at the ad championing changes in society.

AD: So what are you arriving at?

BC: Why are we labouring to put the 'social' into social media? We either spend hours catering to our personal egos or we go to the other extreme and suddenly attempt a stab at social consciousness. It brings me back to my point on armchair activism - we  feel that we have done our bit for society simply by forwarding something or clicking on the Like button...

AD: It's definitely a forward looking ad...

BC: No doubt, but as I mentioned before, it's a great ad about a woman who choose a particular brand of jewellery when she's getting married - again. Suddenly, this ad has begun a trend - not in advertising, but in social media, with people flocking to post ads that have social connotations. Suddenly, there's an ad for a beverage about a single mother inspiring her son to come first, that's being hailed as the taboo-breaker for women.

AD: I've seen the link of an earlier ad for a women's magazine that also played up the remarriage theme...

BC: Where is all this going to end? I've seen an ad where two kids wait for a biscuit truck to go over a bump each day and pick up the biscuit packets that tumble out. So is that the sign of a confectionary manufacturer promoting social awareness about orphans?

AD: How do you know they are orphans?

BC: Well, just because they don't show a father, you've assumed that it's a single mom bringing up her son. So...

AD: How can you be sarcastic about social issues?

BC: I'm not. All I'm saying is that social media has become putty in our hands. Each day, it becomes what we make of it. If you really want to talk about social media triggering a revolution, please look up Egypt...

AD: The comparison doesn't hold good, this is an ad...

BC: Precisely what I'm saying. And talking of subtexts, there's also a section of the social media that has praised the ad for casting a dusky actor in the lead role. This, despite the fact that the director of the film has categorically stated that casting an actor with a dusky complexion wasn't a deliberate move. Again, it's the social media that's going to town with what it believes are the social  statements of the ad. This is almost like looking at Michelangelo's paintings and looking for hidden meanings and messages. Once you begin, there's no end to it.

AD: Well, there are two sides to every story and this has two as well - social and cynical.

BC: The irony of it all is that the lure of gold is considered the ultimate in material pursuits.

AD: So?

BC: Isn't it funny how we have transformed an ad that exhorts us to give in to our material pursuits, into the spark that is meant to trigger a social revolution?