Stop kidding with technology…

Using technology to find baby names is fine, but using technology terms as names is not, claims an old-timer.

AD: Hi, those people who just left - clients of yours?

BC: No, my neighbours… They are looking for a name for their baby – one that’s well-recognized and is easily pronounceable…

AD: How about Facebook?

BC: Are you're suggesting that they use Facebook to find a name for their baby?

AD: No, they could just name their baby Facebook.

BC: You're kidding...

AD: Well, a proud father in Egypt named his daughter Facebook... in honour of the revolution that took place there.

BC: What will they think of next? The Like button?

AD: Sorry, that's taken too. A baby in Israel has been named ‘Like’, because its parents were inspired by Facebook’s ‘Like’ button.

BC: Why is it that when Egypt and Facebook come together, there’s always a revolution brewing? I get the feeling that today’s generation is getting too casual when it comes to naming kids...  

AD: I don’t know about getting casual, but one can get rich by choosing the right name. A couple in Kansas won $5000 by naming their baby IUMA, or Internet Underground Music Archive, an online music site.

BC: Sounds complicated… Why can't they just use simple names like Jack, John or Richard?

AD: Even those are inspired by technology... Jack Kilby co-invented the microchip, John Sculley was the CEO of Apple from ’83 to ’93, and Richard Stallman is the American programmer who started the GNU Project...

BC: This is getting ridiculous... At this rate, there won't be a name untouched by technology.

AD: That's perhaps why you need to crowdsource it...

BC: What's that?

AD: It’s like outsourcing, but to a large number of people. For instance, you could go online and ask your friends and colleagues to come up with name options...

BC: Sometimes, I wonder if the parents are too busy to come up with a name themselves…

AD: If you are the CEO of Yahoo!, then you would have many things on your mind, I guess, besides your baby's name...

BC: Really?

AD: Marissa Mayer apparently had a nine-day maternity leave and got back to work, so you really can't blame her for leaving the naming to her employees and friends...

BC: I'll never understand this... Naming your kid can be such a memorable experience...

AD: It can be quite rewarding too... A couple in the US have named their new-born Dovahkiin, after a character in a computer game.

BC: And their reward?

AD: Free games for life! Of course, the prerequisite was that the baby should have been born on 11/11/11.

BC: I don't know what to say…

AD: How about coming up with a name that you can pass on to your neighbours?

BC: How about iPhone apps?

AD: Are you suggesting that they name their baby iPhone apps?

BC: Don’t be silly, they could use an app to come up with a name... There are so many of these apps around to help young parents find a name for their baby...

AD: I’m amazed by these parents who go through such pains to find the perfect name, but when it comes to their choice of colours for the kid...

BC: Right, baby girls have to be in pink and boys in blue...

AD: And then they grow up and swap colours, so when you mention pink to boys and blue to girls, it's music to their ears...

BC: Really?

AD: Well, as long as it's a singer named Pink and a boy band named Blue.

Technology? It’s child’s play!

Can you trust technology when it’s in the hands of whiz kids and weirdos, wonders an old-timer.

AD: Hi, where were you?

BC: There was a technology exhibition in the neighbourhood school…

AD: You – in a tech exhibition? Hopefully, the school has taken a photo of the moment and will display it in its hall of fame…

BC: I went there because my grandnephew was participating. But it was quite interesting - they even had a separate section on robotics…

AD: I bet it must have taken you right back to your childhood, to Johnny Socko and his Flying Robot…

BC: Don’t be ridiculous, I was working when that series was aired. If you’re trying to make fun of the technology back then, don’t forget that we had movies featuring man on the moon a long time before he got there.

AD: Ok, enough of your glory days. Did you learn a thing or two about technology, at least from the kids?

BC: Stop being so condescending towards them… You’ll be surprised at the number of things that were invented by kids…

AD: Besides a million reasons for not doing their homework, you mean...

BC: Guess you’re speaking from experience. Kids have several key inventions to their credit, from crayon holders and magnetic wallpaper, to toy trucks and trampolines…

AD: Those could have been sheer accidents…

BC: How does that change things? Even adults have invented so many things quite unintentionally…

AD: You mean like trying to invent a TV, but coming up with a radio instead because the video wasn’t working?

BC: I don’t know about the television, but the microwave was invented by accident when the Raytheon Corporation was experimenting with a magnetron…

AD: And what did they do to celebrate? Roast popcorn in it?

BC: They actually did, but not to celebrate. They wanted to see if it would work. And speaking of corn, cornflakes was another ingenious invention that came about by accident...

AD: Great, so what you’re saying is that one half of our inventions were by kids and the other half, by sheer accident. If that’s the case, what exactly have our famous inventors been doing, besides encashing their royalty cheques?

BC: They were perhaps busy creating and evolving the technology that you speak so highly of.

AD: Look, technology is about working smart – it’s not about bumbling your way through, as if you’re part of a Pink Panther movie.

BC: But technology is also about thinking smart – can you imagine making millions by selling virtual electronic pets that had to be looked after and fed? These pet simulated living animals in every way, from making sounds to having untrained potty habits...

AD: Sounds crazy!

BC: Yes, but they were a big hit in the 90s and could be carried around or reared at home.

AD: C’mon, this is making a mockery of technology.

BC: But technology does have a long way to go - until then, it’s pretty much a joke.

AD: I don’t get it – when exactly will you agree that technology is a lifesaver in today’s day and age?

BC: The day my car doesn’t break down when I’m rushing somewhere, or when my computer doesn’t crash and delete all my data just after I’ve painstakingly finished a project or…

AD: But that’s inevitable – haven’t you heard of Murphy’s Law?

BC: Well, until Mr. Murphy can be challenged, technology will remain a mute spectator while things continue to go wrong. And if you’re into Bollywood, you would understand why it’s called Barfi’s law. 

Liberty, web activity, security…

Surfing the net at work has a downside – the Wi-Fi waves leave behind a lot of muck, claims a young techie.

BC: Hi, I had sent you an urgent mail regarding my travel plans. Did you see it?

AD: Sorry, new rules at work. No personal mails allowed…

BC: Surely, you could have checked it on your mobile…

AD: No, I’m not permitted to - it’s for official use only…

BC: Perhaps they’ve got a point. If you keep checking your personal mail or your Facebook account during working hours, it would definitely affect office productivity…

AD: Don’t get me started. We’ve been given Blackberries so that we can be connected to work, 24 x 7. So, if we are expected to work from home, why can’t we spend a few minutes at work on personal activities?

BC: That’s funny! A couple of years ago, you were shouting from the rooftops that your company had given you a smartphone and a laptop – you thought you had arrived in life…

AD: You’re exaggerating – the truth is, you have to take it when they give it. The least you can do is feel good about it.

BC: But how does checking mail on a phone compromise office security?

AD: If your phone gets infected and if you try to connect it to a network or transfer a file, you’ve provided an opening for an attack…

BC: See, I’ve always cautioned you about technology, but…

AD: Why blame technology for faulty workplace policies?

BC: Because in our times, chat sessions were typically around the water cooler – and they couldn’t stop us from drinking water.

AD: Well, things have changed for the better…

BC: Really? What about this sudden change at your workplace?

AD: It began with an employee opening a forward – the attachment let loose some kind of virus into the network.

BC: And…?

AD: The server crashed, a lot of files were lost and…

BC: …your company lost a lot of money.

AD: And a major client too.

BC: But I thought you guys had…

AD: Yes, firewalls, internet security, antivirus – we have the works…

BC: But are they enough to solve this problem?

AD: Why do you ask that?

BC: A nephew of mine was working in a multimedia firm where most sites were blocked. The young kids there took it as a challenge to unearth newer mail services and social networking sites on a regular basis…

AD: That’s not right. Imagine if this were to happen in a bank. An unsolicited mail that is opened or an infected USB that is plugged into a system can create unimaginable havoc…

BC: So what’s the solution?

AD: Security measures can work only when employees are careful about what they do online.

BC: But this kind of carelessness is normally displayed by junior employees – and in most cases, they have little or no access to classified information…

AD: Well, each organization uses the latest technology to turn its network into a fortress. But the minute someone like my friend at the workplace lets in a virus or worm, the walls of the ‘fortress’ end up being easily penetrated. So it really doesn’t matter who opens the door, the horse is sure to bolt…

BC: Or the Trojan horse is sure to come in...

AD: Right!

BC: The horse could well bolt, but it looks like office security is finding itself stuck between two walls…

AD: I don’t understand…

BC: A firewall on one side and Facebook’s wall on the other – I’m not surprised that office security is nowhere to be seen. 

Clicks like a mouse, sticks like a gecko…

Who would have thought that a lizard would trigger a revolution in the tech world?

AD: Hi, back from your walk?

BC: Yes! The cool breeze, the sunrise, the sight of the frothy waves - it’s probably why poets are so much in love with nature…

AD: Well, even the tech world has constantly sought inspiration from nature.

BC: How? By making computers hibernate?

AD: Very funny! You must have noticed the Catseye road reflectors during your early morning walks… They were inspired by the way the cat’s eyes reflect light in absolute darkness...

BC: I bet the mouse was one such inspiration too. Once you get one into your room, there’s no getting rid of it…

AD: You’re the only person in the world who can look at an airplane flying overhead and think of bird dropping.

BC: C’mon, I was just referring to the current generation’s obsession with technology…

AD: I don’t think that’s a new fad – it has existed from the time man stuck a pair of wings on himself and tried to fly… Besides, look at your shoes. The Velcro…

BC: I’ve read about how George de Mestral was intrigued by the way seeds with burrs latched on to his trousers. He then designed a texture that would replicate it.

AD: It’s not just plants – even the gecko has impressed scientists...

BC: Apparently geckos don’t blink – could that result in flicker-free monitors?

AD: Why don’t you try adjusting your screen refresh rate to minimise flicker? On the subject of geckos, I was referring to their incredible climbing abilities…

BC: Imagine how eerie it would be to watch a laptop climb on to the table by itself…

AD: Don’t be ridiculous, I was talking about robots that can climb any surface. Another big development has been a special kind of tape that works without any adhesive, and yet sticks…

BC: So it wouldn’t leave any marks on paper or on walls…

AD: That’s right, and scientists have even demonstrated its adhesive strength by suspending humans and objects from it.

BC: No humans please, the last thing the world needs is a Geckoman franchise, courtesy Hollywood.

AD: Too late – Spiderman has an archenemy known as Lizard who has gecko-like climbing skills too.

BC: Pardon the pun, but why can’t we just stick to Sellotape or Scotch Tape?

AD: This new product can make a huge difference across different fields… It can replace sutures in surgeries to bind the area operated upon. It could also be used as a medicine patch – just stick it on the body to dispatch medicine to a specific part.

BC: If it can replace vaccine injections, the man who makes it happen would be a hero to every kid because he would have achieved what even Superman couldn’t – take the pain out of childhood.

AD: Absolutely! The industrial segment is equally excited because now, anti-skid will take on a new meaning. Suddenly, driving on roads caked with ice will no longer be a challenge…

BC: What about industrial adhesives? It could spell relief for workers – they wouldn’t have to spend desperate evenings trying to get industrial glue off their hands…

AD: It could also be used to improve safety devices for workers who work in high altitudes…

BC: Perhaps we should request the International Olympics Committee to use it on their medals…

AD: What for?

BC: After each Olympic event, we hear about how a medal went out of our grasp - maybe gecko tape could fix that…

What’s your address?

Forget hardware and software upgrades, it’s time for the internet to be upgraded, claims a technophile.

AD: If the internet could run out of addresses, do you think it could happen to our neighbourhood as well?

BC: What do you mean?

AD: I’m talking about IP addresses – Internet Protocol addresses. You must have seen numbers arranged in four sets, like 192.168.1.1, for instance. Each number can vary between 0 and 255.

BC: So that’s how you get so many combinations…

AD: Absolutely. 2^32, to be precise, which leaves you with 4.3 billion addresses.

BC: That’s a lot! And we managed to use up all that?

AD: Well, the current protocol that we are following - IPv4 or Internet Protocol version 4 - was created in the ‘70s. At that time, 4.3 billion did seem like a staggering number…

BC: So what are we doing about it now?

AD: The shift is on, from IPv4 to IPv6, or Internet Protocol version 6.

BC: How’s IPv6 different?

AD: It has four digit hexadecimal numbers, arranged in sets of eight…

BC: I guess that means more options…

AD: Right! It works out to 2^128 – or 340 undecillion – addresses.

BC: 340 undecided what?

AD: Undecillion - that's 340 followed by 36 zeroes.

BC: That's huge! We'll take forever to exhaust that.

AD: Consider this – of the 4.3 billion addresses, we’ve used up the last billion in just six years, between 2006 and now. It just goes on to show the proliferation of internet devices and the number of users…

BC: I thought IP addresses referred to websites only.

AD: No, each computer and internet-enabled device are also assigned an IP address. And with millions of smartphones, tablets and other gadgets that have come into use in recent times…

BC: So does that signify the end of IPv4?

AD: No, just when everyone thought it was the end of the world, a new policy has been set in place which allows transfers of IPv4 addresses from regions where they are still available…

BC: …to regions where they’ve already been exhausted.

AD: Right, the beneficiaries mostly being from the Asia Pacific region, because they were the first to run out of IPv4 addresses…

BC: And who’s the donor? You said that the world was running out of IPv4 addresses…

AD: IPv4 addresses are distributed in blocks to regions, from where they are further distributed to service providers. So, while the blocks of addresses have been exhausted, some regions still have unused addresses. The African region for instance, has IP addresses to last them almost till the end of this decade.

BC: So while some are migrating to IPv6, the rest are buying up IPv4 addresses from wherever they are available...

AD: I guess everyone will eventually move to IPv6, but the transfer of IPv4 addresses is to help companies during the transition period.

BC: So what’s the progress made?

AD: June 8, 2011 saw the World IPv6 Day, a day when several leading companies like Cisco, Facebook, Google, Juniper Networks, Microsoft and Yahoo participated in a test run of their IPv6 websites for 24 hours.

BC: How did it go?

AD: It had a lot of support from the big names. And June 6, 2012 was the World IPv6 Launch, when IPv6 was permanently enabled globally.

BC: How about India? Are we inclined towards this new development?

AD: Not really. Reports indicate that India is still playing catch up...

BC: Well, we’ve always valued cricket more than technology...

AD: What’s the connection?

BC: After five seasons of IPL, looks like our support is more for IPL 6 than IPv6. 

Staying in focus

The old-fashioned ‘film roll’ camera? Or the new-age digital one? The argument continues...

AD: Hi, whose photo album is that? Looks pretty old…

BC: My Dad’s college photos – they were shot over 70 years ago…. Look at the texture, the clarity...

AD: Yes, but who shoots on film these days? It’s a digital world today…

BC: Perhaps, but try getting this quality, especially in black & white...

AD: I know what you’re arriving at, but a digital camera…

BC: …is suffering from an identity crisis ever since it got hitched to one end of a mobile phone.

AD: Digital cameras are so convenient – there’s no fear of running out of film in the middle of a vacation…

BC: You could still run out of batteries and memory space, with your digital camera…

AD: With rechargeable batteries and infinite storage space? Never! A digital camera is so handy, especially when you want to click a candid moment, like your kid doing something really zany. Back in your days, you would have to dig out your camera, check if it is loaded, adjust the focus manually, switch on flash if necessary, wait for the go-ahead green signal... You’re ready, but the moment has passed.  

BC: We’ve raised kids without digital cameras – and our memories are still as fresh…

AD: What about the costs? When you’re visiting new places, it’s such a relief to get trigger-happy because you can click as many snaps as you want with a digital camera… You don’t have to be weighed down by factors like cost of film and the number of shots left. Wouldn’t it be tragic to be in two minds whether or not to click another snap because you wish to save the roll for the rest of the trip?

BC: What’s the point in shooting a thousand snaps? You upload some of them online - and that’s probably the last time you see them yourself.

AD: It would be nice to look back one day...

BC: You fill a 500 GB hard disk with snaps and hope to go back to them someday? That’s like filing away all the newspapers during your working years so that you can read them in leisure once you retire…

AD: Well, you can store thousands of digital images in an area that’s the size of your thumb nail.  Imagine storing even a fraction of that as prints…

BC: But how will you find a particular snap when you have millions?

AD: It’s a lot easier to sort and index digital images - software like Picasa can do the organizing for you. Prints, on the other hand, will require some sort of a catalog or album.

BC: I’ll stick to my old Nikon, thank you. It’s a mechanical camera and doesn’t even need batteries…

AD: What about ease of use? Digital cameras are a lot simpler – anyone can handle one. Manual cameras require some level of orientation…

BC: I’ve always maintained that technology’s dumbing down everything around us…

AD: Think of the positives - having a digital camera can be pretty useful. There have been so many wrongdoings and incidents that have been reported by the media in recent times because a passerby could shoot the incident with his mobile phone camera…

BC: It’s also sad to note that technology is coming in the way of being humane.

AD: What do you mean?

BC: There was a time when, in the case of an accident or molestation, our first instinct was to rush and help. Today, people seem to be more particular about clicking pictures and posting them online... 

Banking on technology

What’s common to the words branch, phone, internet and mobile? The suffix ‘banking’, claims a tech buff.

AD: Hi, I can’t believe that you’re sitting with a mobile and a laptop... Is there a tech revolution approaching?  

BC: My auditor wanted an old bank statement of mine, so I was trying phone banking.

AD: And?

BC: The automated menu asked me to enter my ATM or debit card number, but I had neither - I had opened this account a long time ago… I went around in circles for a few minutes until they hung up on me.

AD: What about net banking?

BC: I tried that too. Apparently, I needed a user name and password…

AD: You could generate one…

BC: I tried doing that with my credit card, but apparently accountholders had to use their ATM or debit card…  After several attempts, I was directed back to phone banking to generate my password. So much for technology…

AD: Back in your days, you would have had to wait for the bank to open, to access old records...

BC: That seemed simpler. Now, I need a credit card or debit card, a mobile phone, a laptop, an internet connection, my personal identification number or electronic banking identity number – or maybe both, I’m not sure... And all this just to access my bank account. The only ID proofs missing are my ration card, passport and driving license – and of course, my horoscope and the counterfoil of the tickets to last night’s Batman movie.

AD: Stop being sarcastic…

BC: I remember the days when the bank meant your friendly neighbourhood branch. Every transaction was a big event, passbooks were the size of passports and bank employees were your neighbourhood friends…

AD: You forgot to mention irate tellers, long queues, longer lunch hours, metal tokens…

BC: But today you have t-pins, m-pins, i-pins, passwords, user ids and so much more. How does one remember all that?

AD: You can continue to crib, but analysts refer to mobile banking as the most path-breaking banking innovation of the century…

BC: So what you’re implying is that short of spewing money through the mouthpiece, the mobile phone can take care of all your banking needs.

AD: Actually, it almost does that too… Just as credit cards eliminated the need to carry money, mobile banking is edging out credit cards and debit cards from our wallet - with features like Hal-Cash and Airtel money.

BC: So what’s next? Banking through Facebook?

AD: That's already here. Banks like First National Bank in South Africa and ICICI back home have made this possible. Customers have to link their mobile banking app to their Facebook account and can transact from the social networking site.

BC: The bank’s open six hours a day, but your Facebook account’s open 24 hours a day, right?

AD: Absolutely – and since the Citi never sleeps either, Citibank also has launched a Facebook app for reward points in its loyalty programme.

BC: So after phone banking, net banking and mobile banking, we now have social banking?

AD: Right!

BC: Well, as long as they don’t write my loan outstandings on my wall…

AD: Seriously speaking, hasn’t technology made banking more convenient?

BC: On the contrary, it has only added to my worries…

AD: How is that?

BC: So far, my only concern was that I didn’t have enough money in my account. Now, with all the phishing and security breaches in banks, I also have to worry about someone else taking away what little there is…