The skim scam

Despite all the technology backing banks, credit cards and debit cards, the customer is forced to play blind, claims an old-timer.

BC: Did you read the news?

AD: Yes, apparently teetotallers don't live as long as...

BC: Oh c'mon, I wasn't referring to that. Did you read the news where a bank fell prey to an e-mail scam?

AD: I did, it's pretty unfortunate that one of their accountholders lost money...

BC: I'm shocked - not just because he lost Rs. 63 lakhs for no fault of his, but because a fake email could fool a banking institution into releasing money from his account. Apparently, even his fixed deposits were liquidated...

AD: Yes, but stray occurrences like these tend to happen...

BC: If banks didn't entertain email transactions, this wouldn't have happened.

AD: What are you trying to say?

BC: Technology is being introduced to make things more convenient, but it has a flip side that can be pretty damaging...

AD: You reached this conclusion on the basis of this one incident?

BC: Of course not! I keep getting these mails about some new rule or about the need for some identification that the bank requires – so which ones do I trust and which ones do I ignore? And it certainly doesn't make me feel any better knowing that banks are getting confused too.

AD: But banks have several security checks in place for your online transactions...

BC: Do you know the number of technology glitches that have been reported by the papers in the past fortnight? A bunch of school dropouts were nabbed in Lucknow for accessing details of accountholders of a particular bank and transferring funds from their accounts online.

AD: In this case, they called these customers and asked for their password over the phone, so you can't blame technology for that...

BC: There were seven arrests made in West Bengal and Bihar where the culprits had sent fake mails and messages, collected account details, opened bank accounts under different names and were running a full-fledged racket across the country, with several others involved. Now, all this would not be possible if not for technology...

AD: Look, despite consistent warnings that they shouldn't share their account information with strangers, many customers actually...

BC: And what about that email supposedly sent by the Reserve Bank of India Governor Raghuram Rajan? Did you read about that?

AD: I did, it was the one promising the recipient a couple of crores and asked for their bank details, wasn't it? But RBI did clarify that the mail was a hoax…

BC: That's right. But the point is, it's not just individuals who are getting gypped, even companies are being hoodwinked. A private firm lost Rs. 10 lakh from its account because its net banking password was hacked. 

AD: Ok, it's happening everywhere, but...

BC: And I'm not even getting into credit card and debit card scams. Did you read about that poor guy who was cheated of Rs. 42,000 in a credit card scam in Delhi? Or about that guy in Bangalore who used fake cards and withdrew money from ATMs?

AD: Luckily, the guilty have been arrested. But you are aware of the new debit card rule issued by RBI, right? You will not just have to sign on the receipt for each transaction, but will also have to enter your PIN into the machine.

BC: I did get a mail to the effect...

AD: Cards are also moving from magnetic strip technology to chip technology...

BC: Well, they better do something about the technology because according to news reports, Indians have lost over Rs. 220 crore in 2011. All this scheming...

AD: You mean skimming... That’s how they collect vital information of accountholders from ATMs and from card machines…

BC: Well, originally skimming referred to the process of removing the cream from milk.

AD: Yes, but that’s healthy…

BC: That depends, but now I know why profitable ventures are called cash cows…

AD: I’m waiting…

BC: First they milk customers dry and then, someone else tricks them and takes away all the cream. 

Honey, I blew up the mobile

If you think technology’s making things smaller, take a look at the mobile, says an old-timer.

AD: Hey, I tried calling you all of last week - why didn't you take my calls?

BC: You did? Sorry, my mobile is down and I'm using an old mobile that has no contacts, so I never know who's calling.

AD: I guess that explains why you aren't on WhatsApp either...

BC: It’s an old flip phone with no modern technology like Wi-Fi, net connectivity, Bluetooth, apps...

AD: That’s terrible - you must be feeling totally stuck...

BC: On the contrary, I'm perfectly fine with it. It's just the key pad that needs a bit of getting used to...

AD: How can you be happy with a phone that facilitates only calls and messages?

BC: Isn't that what a phone's supposed to do? Besides, this phone has its own advantages...

AD: I'm all ears...

BC: Since it has none of the new-fangled technology, I hardly use it and the charge seems to last forever. Earlier, I had to charge my smartphone every morning...

AD: And now?

BC: I need to charge this mobile just once a week. I can't tell you how liberating it is... There's no fear of the battery dying on you midway through a call. 

AD: But that's no big deal - you can charge a mobile anywhere these days - in your car, from your laptop, at the airport or even in trains...

BC: And the old mobile is so sturdy. It has already fallen a few times in the past couple of weeks - there's not even a dent on it and it's working fine. These new smartphones are so flimsy that a little tap somewhere and the screen cracks, or the touch panel goes for a toss...

AD: They're sophisticated, so you need to handle them with care...

BC: I prefer the rugged phones – they are more suited for guys like me. It's not about carelessness - even if there's a little mishap, these modern phones have very little chance of surviving it...

AD: You have butter fingers and yet blame technology...

BC: Look, I can't help it - they are so unwieldy...

AD: What do you mean?

BC: When mobiles came in, the common crib was that they were bulky and huge. Soon, mobiles became sleeker and smaller. Remember that ad for Ericsson mobile?

AD: That 'one black coffee please’ ad? Yes, I've seen it on YouTube.

BC: Things could have stayed that way, but people were keen on using the phone to read text and surf the net, and so the screen started becoming bigger and bigger. Today, a 5-inch screen seems to be the norm...

AD: If it's smaller, you can't...

BC: ...check mail, operate your Facebook account, play games, watch movies... I don’t do any of that. But I find it difficult to handle these large-screen phones and carry them in my pocket. They can slip out any time - and you blame me instead...

AD: But you’re blaming technology…

BC: Think about it… On one hand, technology's trying to make things smaller - the laptop has become smaller and smaller until it's become a tablet in our hands. Handheld video games, CDs, thumb drives – they’re all getting smaller. But mobiles that were small are now getting bigger... I fail to understand the logic when bigger objects are getting more compact while the smaller ones are being blown up.

AD: It depends on the usage and convenience - why blame technology for it?

BC: Well, it's just funny that the latest mobiles now need a watch to operate them.

AD: You got it wrong. That's...

BC: I know, it’s just an accessory… But this whole trend of having an external device to help you operate your mobile could be a dangerous indication of things to come…

AD: Why do you say that?

BC: Well, it could probably mean that one day, the mobile is going to get as big as the TV and will need a remote to operate it.  

Me and my selfie

Love is in the air, but thanks to technology, people are falling in love with themselves, claims an old-timer.

AD: Hi, what's the Oxford English Dictionary doing on your desk?

BC: I'm planning to give it away...

AD: Why, did you buy the latest version?

BC: No, I'm shattered that they've begun introducing strange words into their dictionary...

AD: Like what?

BC: Like selfie - sounds like it's short for selfish.

AD: It's the term used to describe people taking shots of themselves...

BC:...and posting it online. You don't have to explain.

AD: Of course! Both social media and the print media are full of articles, pictures and descriptions of what the word means and how it is becoming so popular.

BC: But imagine Oxford English Dictionary recognizing it as an…

AD: Look, you can’t argue with success, can you? It has been crowned the most popular word of 2013. And for your information, it has not been included in the Oxford English Dictionary – it is part of Oxford Dictionary Online.

BC: Interesting, but why would people want to keep shooting photos of themselves and post it online?

AD: Look, when they posted their holiday photos, you had a problem with it. When they posted photos of their pets, you cribbed. And they can't post photos of their kids winning the lime-and-spoon race, of their morning breakfast or of a view of the sky from their window, according to you. So that leaves them with no option, but to post their own photos...

BC: But why this compulsive need to click themselves? I find it strange that even celebrities indulge in it… On one hand, they fight with photographers and complain about invasion of their privacy - and on the other, they keep clicking themselves and uploading the photos on...

AD: It's just a fad - and like any other wave, this will rage on and on and will fade out once the next big thing comes up...

BC: That's the problem with technology… Look what it has reduced all of us to - we're becoming so full of ourselves.

AD: Wait, don't tell me that selfies began with Facebook and Instagram...

BC: Reports have it that over 90 million images uploaded on Instagram each month are selfies, with the hashtag #me.

AD: Go back to the era of instant photo boothsand polaroids…Remember how teenagers rushed to those tiny cubicles and had their mugs shot?

BC: At least they didn't show it off to the world...

AD: Pity they didn’t have social media back then… And what about the era before that? Everyone wanted their portraits hanging on the wall to show off that...

BC: That wasn't a selfie - it was an artist painting them...

AD: Isn't that still indulgence? Portraits came at a cost, but thanks to technology, taking a digital photo and uploading it on a social networking site are both free of cost...

BC: But I still don't get it - how could a word like 'selfie' be declared the word of the year?

AD: Look, Oxford Dictionary chose it simply because of its popularity - they didn't come up with the word, for heaven's sake. Besides, would you rather have 'twerk' as the word of the year? Apparently, it was one of the words being considered for the title - and with Miley Cyrus making it popular...

BC: I would rather have twerp chosen in the place of twerk - and don't ask me what it means, please look it up...

AD: Talking of twerps, you haven't met the more exciting cousin of selfie - called belfie - have you?

BC: Who's that?

AD: It's not a who, it's a what... People apparently post pictures of their bottom and it's called a...

BC: I could do without such trivia, but it makes me wonder what Narcissus would have done with a digital camera?

AD: He's the guy who fell in love with his own reflection, right? What about him?

BC: Would he have clicked selfies of himself, of his reflection or of himself looking at his reflection?

Putting the social into social media

‘Why is social media suddenly going overboard in its attempt to create social relevance?’ An old-timer wonders.

AD: Hi, you seem deep in thought...

BC: Nothing, just wondering about how the human mind works...

AD: Ah, so what were you reading last night - Freud or Sherlock Holmes?

BC: Neither - I was reading about the buzz created online by an ad for gold jewellery...

AD: Why, didn't you like the ad?

BC: Oh, I thought it was truly clutter-breaking in terms of its scripting and was fabulously shot.

AD: So you have a problem with the ad going viral?

BC: Not at all. On the contrary, I'm happy that so many people have appreciated a good ad. You can't say the same of movies, where the bad ones find overwhelming acceptance and the good ones, a mere clap or two.

AD: So what's the problem?

BC: I'm just amazed at social media's constant search to glorify something, even if it means reading non-existent subtext...

AD: Hold on, you're losing me...

BC: I would have been happy if the ad had been circulated because it was a great ad. Instead, it has suddenly been anointed as the voice that speaks out for widow remarriage and...

AD: That isn't subtext - that's the script! It's about a woman who gets married again.

BC: I know that - but look at what social media has turned an ad for wedding jewellery into...

AD: But it's looking at the current societal changes - or it's at least looking forward to such changes in society.

BC: Correction - the ad's selling jewellery. It's social media that's looking at the ad championing changes in society.

AD: So what are you arriving at?

BC: Why are we labouring to put the 'social' into social media? We either spend hours catering to our personal egos or we go to the other extreme and suddenly attempt a stab at social consciousness. It brings me back to my point on armchair activism - we  feel that we have done our bit for society simply by forwarding something or clicking on the Like button...

AD: It's definitely a forward looking ad...

BC: No doubt, but as I mentioned before, it's a great ad about a woman who choose a particular brand of jewellery when she's getting married - again. Suddenly, this ad has begun a trend - not in advertising, but in social media, with people flocking to post ads that have social connotations. Suddenly, there's an ad for a beverage about a single mother inspiring her son to come first, that's being hailed as the taboo-breaker for women.

AD: I've seen the link of an earlier ad for a women's magazine that also played up the remarriage theme...

BC: Where is all this going to end? I've seen an ad where two kids wait for a biscuit truck to go over a bump each day and pick up the biscuit packets that tumble out. So is that the sign of a confectionary manufacturer promoting social awareness about orphans?

AD: How do you know they are orphans?

BC: Well, just because they don't show a father, you've assumed that it's a single mom bringing up her son. So...

AD: How can you be sarcastic about social issues?

BC: I'm not. All I'm saying is that social media has become putty in our hands. Each day, it becomes what we make of it. If you really want to talk about social media triggering a revolution, please look up Egypt...

AD: The comparison doesn't hold good, this is an ad...

BC: Precisely what I'm saying. And talking of subtexts, there's also a section of the social media that has praised the ad for casting a dusky actor in the lead role. This, despite the fact that the director of the film has categorically stated that casting an actor with a dusky complexion wasn't a deliberate move. Again, it's the social media that's going to town with what it believes are the social  statements of the ad. This is almost like looking at Michelangelo's paintings and looking for hidden meanings and messages. Once you begin, there's no end to it.

AD: Well, there are two sides to every story and this has two as well - social and cynical.

BC: The irony of it all is that the lure of gold is considered the ultimate in material pursuits.

AD: So?

BC: Isn't it funny how we have transformed an ad that exhorts us to give in to our material pursuits, into the spark that is meant to trigger a social revolution?

Whatsapp guys?

Rapidly changing technology is making it difficult to stay in touch with friends, laments an old-timer.

AD: Hi, why the long face?

BC: Never thought keeping in touch with friends could be such a problem...

AD: Well, technology helps those who help themselves, but in your case…

BC: I can’t help it - things are changing so rapidly that...

AD: For years, man has been toying around with the need for speed. And now that it has happened, your problem is that it's all going too fast...

BC: Not too long back, I was happy to be introduced to email...

AD: Not too long back? That must have been around 15-16 years ago!

BC: Look, you must realise what a challenge it was for me to make the transition from writing letters to typing mails. And just when I was getting comfortable with email, my friends introduced me to this abomination called a ‘chat room’ where we could enter and chat as a group...

AD: I’ve read about Yahoo! Chat Rooms being pretty popular back then...

BC: I found them too annoying because we would continuously be interrupted by strangers - some of them would be downright abusive and we would have to leave the chat room...

AD: Yes, but...

BC: That was not the only problem - we were all on dial-ups. Just as everyone would assemble in a chat room, one or more of us would lose our connection - we would then have to dial up again, log in and find our friends online. I always needed help with that...

AD: I know, dial-ups were quite fickle, weren't they?

BC: Then came messenger and my friends insisted that I should download a messenger...

AD: Which one did you use?

BC: Mostly Yahoo! Messenger and occasionally MSN. But when Google Talk came along, my entire batch moved to it...

AD: It's funny trying to visualise a set of senior citizens chasing one messenger after another and trying to stay in touch...

BC: You make it sound like dogs chasing postmen. The real issue here was that unlike email, there’s no compatibility between various service providers. If your friends shift to something new, you are forced to follow suit.

AD: That problem still exists – it’s the same even with social networking sites…

BC: The messenger challenge improved with web cams and microphones coming into the scene - suddenly we didn't have to type. Everything was visual and aural. I really enjoyed that...

AD: And?

BC: Facebook happened… And all my friends moved to it. I tried telling them that it was for kids and that we were too old to be seen there, but none of them would listen...

AD: So that was how you became a Facebook user.

BC: I didn't have a choice - it was the only place where I could find my friends...

AD: So what's the problem now?

BC: Ever since mobiles became internet-enabled, they've all switched to WhatsApp and...

AD: I’m waiting…

BC: Now, my mobile keeps hanging ever since I activated a data pack…

AD: Look, if you have a problem with everything, you'll find it difficult to keep pace with technology...

BC: I know. I'm most tempted to turn around and go back to the good old days...

AD: Too late - they've even phased out telegrams, so you're stuck...

BC: It’s annoying - the harder I try to keep in touch with my friends, the more isolated technology is making me feel...

AD: So what’re you going to do about it?

BC: I’m trying to get the group together at Bessy…

AD: Is that a new social networking site? Funny how I haven’t heard of it and you have… Did you google it and…

BC: Good heavens, I was referring to the beach in my neighbourhood. And you’re right in a way - long before the internet came into our lives, Bessy used to be the quintessential ‘site’ for social networking amongst the younger generation. 

I’m quitting, here’s my video

When you have technology on your side, you can dance your way out of a job, claims a tech fan.

BC: Hi, why the pained look?

AD: I've had enough of my job...

BC: So why don't you quit?

AD: Like Marina Shifrin?

BC: What do you mean?

AD: She worked for an animation company, and made a resignation video that featured her dancing to a popular track...

BC: Quite innovative, but why go through all that trouble?  

AD: I know, but her video has garnered almost 16 million hits online, making her famous the world over. Now she has also been offered a job by Queen Latifah - a singer, actor and producer in Hollywood – during a talk show on prime time TV.

BC: Looks like technology can make anyone famous these days. So how did her ex-employer handle this?

AD: They made their own video in response to hers, showcasing their cool working conditions…

BC: Now, that really takes the cake…

AD: In fact, Marina's video seems to be inspiring other people to make their 'I quit' videos – there’s one from Brenna Jennings, a work-from-home mother that has become a hit.

BC: I don’t know what to say…

AD: Well, there's more - after Queen Latifah, Y&R Israel, an international advertising agency offered her a job too, through a video that they uploaded on YouTube...

BC: Is the whole world going mad?

AD: Nope, it's just going viral. The Y&R video has had over 50,000 views and a few people asking if they could take up the job in case Marina refused it...

BC: Where's all this going?

AD: I don't know about that, but right now, the video's going places, the battle is going on in Twitter, and…

BC: …people are going crazy trying to find out which of the offers Marina will take up.

AD: Absolutely! And talking of Twitter, Paula Abdul, a famous singer who was a judge in American Idol for eight seasons, used the social media site to quit the show in 2009.

BC: Well, looks like technology is the ultimate beneficiary.

AD: How do you say that?

BC: YouTube is having millions of hits from all these videos, Facebook and Twitter are being kept busy, and...

AD: We used technology in a different way in my earlier job - we had four templates for resignation letters stashed away in the company’s server and no one knew about it.

BC: Why four?

AD: Each had a different opening, a different closing line and a different reason for quitting. Employees could take their pick and then print it out, with suitable modifications. Tell me, would this be possible without technology?

BC: Such a furore over quitting a job - heaven help us...

AD: But there have been other instances as well - there was this designer who sent an error message as his resignation letter to his boss, with buttons for Ignore, Renegotiate and HR...

BC: I’m just happy that I don't have to work in this crazy world.

AD: It would have been a funny sight to see you quit like this in your times…

BC: What do you mean?

AD: Without digital cameras and digital storage media, you would have had to use archaic movie cameras to shoot yourself, add audio to the tapes, carry huge spools of film to the office and leave it on your boss's table, just to tell him that you are quitting. And your boss would have had to hire a projector and a screen, shut out the lights and watch the film to know that you've quit…

BC: Technology was backward back then...

AD: Perhaps, but now, all it takes to get your boss to see your resignation video is an upload onto a social networking site - and a forward. 

Password? It’s at my fingertip!

Technology has moved passwords from the tip of your tongue to the tip of your fingers, claims a tech fan.

AD: Hey, do you know that Apple is coming out with a new typewriter called iType?

BC: What???

AD: Now that I have your attention, here’s the real news – Apple has launched the iPhone 5s with Touch ID.

BC: What's that?

AD: Amazing how your question remains unchanged regardless of whether it’s a typewriter or an iPhone. Touch ID is a biometric system that uses your fingerprint as a security device to unlock your mobile. So your fingerprint becomes your digital signature or your password...

BC: But what if I hurt my fingers? What if they're bandaged or have a plaster on them? What if I nick them while...

AD: Hold on, you can record up to five fingerprints, so any of them can be used.

BC: But think of all those people who use their hands and their fingers at work - musicians, homemakers who cook and wash, writers who type non-stop... So what'll they use if their fingers get worn out - their pet's paw print?

AD: Well, a cat's paw print has already been used to unlock the 5s, but that’s because it was registered as one of the five possible impressions that can unlock the phone.

BC: So how long does it take to unlock a phone using Touch ID?

AD: Possibly a second - the amazing part is that you don't have to place the finger in the same way that you did when you registered the fingerprint. The sensor is smart enough to detect the impression from any angle...

BC: Computers, phones, digital music players, tablets - and now fingerprint recognition. I can't see where Apple is going with this...

AD: In fact, Apple planned for this over a year ago and bought over a company called AuthenTec, which specialises in fingerprint readers and ID management software.

BC: But is it safe? There are so many instances of hacking that we read about...

AD: Ok, a hacking team that calls itself the Chaos Computer Club seems to have confirmed your worst fears - it claims to have cracked the security system and has even posted videos of how it went about it. This happened less than three days after the launch... And wipe that smug expression off your face.

BC: So how has the response been to Touch ID and to the 5s?

AD: According to reports, over six million customers have ordered the 5s in the first weekend of its launch...

BC: Great, so that's six million fingerprints, and with five options each, it's 30 million in all. Where are all these fingerprints stored?

AD: I see where you're going with this. Your fingerprints are digitally encrypted and stored in your mobile's processor, so in case you think Apple has access to them or that they are all stored in a central server, waiting to be hacked...

BC: But I still don't understand all this fuss over unlocking a phone.

AD: Isn't using your finger to unlock the device a lot simpler than entering a 4-digit passcode each time?

BC: There have been other instances where fingerprint authentication has been tried out, but has not proved to be very successful...

AD: The latest technology is fine-tuning the whole process. It's not just Apple - other mobile manufacturers are also throwing in their lot with fingerprint identity sensors. Computers and tablets are also following suit...

BC: So what happens if I've left my mobile home and my wife wants to use it?

AD: There's always a backup - you can opt to use the regular passcode, as with all iPhones. In fact, there's also an option by which you can choose to disable Touch ID.

BC: With half the world choosing to use 1234 as the passcode, I'm not sure which is scarier of the two – a finger that's broken or a security feature that can easily be broken into.

When the office comes home...

‘Technology has made it possible to bring the office home, but can it keep the two apart?’ An old-timer wonders...

BC: Hi, what's the matter? It's almost noon and you still haven't gone to work...

AD: Actually, I'm at work.

BC: I don't understand...

AD: I'm going to be telecommuting for the next six months...

BC: Tele-what? Is that what they do in Star Trek when they magically appear in some other place?

AD: No, that's teleportation. Telecommuting is about working from home – or any remote location - with the help of technology…

BC: What's new about that? Even when you sit in your office, you use a lot of technology...

AD: Precisely! That’s why companies have now begun to allow employees to work from home. They can reach us by mail or over the phone. Or I could get on to Skype or a chat session. Teleconferencing, video conferences, file sharing – I can do them all from home. And at the end of the day, I wrap up and mail my work across and that's that.

BC: I can't imagine working from home.

AD: Why not?

BC: Because to me, home is an area of calm. It’s the place I come back to after weathering many a storm – at the workplace, at client meetings and in traffic. If you're going to drag the office home, you're bringing along the stress and the pressures of work to your bedroom. So how are you…

AD: Well, with laptops, smartphones and tablets, work moved into our homes long before you realised it. So why not formalise the arrangement?

BC: But how do you end a working day? Where do you draw the line between work and personal life when both are fighting to coexist in the same place?

AD: That calls for time management and good planning. Besides, look at the positives - no more strenuous drives in peak hours, no more traffic jams, no more office politics…

BC: For years, man has been deputing technology to do his work for him. And somewhere along the way, technology has made a backdoor entry into his house and has programmed his life in a way that, instead of waking up and checking out the sunrise from his window, he ends up booting up Windows and checking his mails as soon as he gets up.

AD: But you can spend more time with the family, both because you can work from home and because you save time on commutes.

BC: You're kidding me! You'll probably use up all that time updating your status messages and checking out forwards...

AD: Look at other positives - you don't have to dress up any longer to go to work. I'm sure you would have liked that...

BC: In fact, half the people these days look like they crawled out of bed and went straight to work. Regardless of all that you say, I foresee lots of problems with working from home...

AD: Like what?

BC: You can't call in sick. You can't crib about your boss. You can't catch up on watercooler gossip. You'll never know how much the next guy is making...

AD: As always, you need to find something to crib about, don't you? Besides, this is not about you. The current generation loves it, so...

BC: I'm sure they do. I'm also sure that school kids these days must be wondering why their folks are forever having that zombie expression on their faces and are lounging around all day at home in their nightclothes while they have to wear their uniforms and go to school, five days a week. I’m not sure if they’ll thank technology for it.

AD: Despite all that you say, more and more people are now getting inspired to work from home…

BC: Guess I need to start going to the office too…

AD: I thought you were retired…

BC: I was. But, now that your generation is going to work from home, I guess workplaces will be a lot more peaceful...

When earthlings turn Martians

‘Technology finally gives mankind an out-of-this-world experience – in Mars,’ announces a tech fan.

AD: Hi, did you apply to go to Mars?

BC: Do you know that it’s a one-way ticket? Why would anyone want to go there?

AD: Landing on the moon was nothing more than a Tintin adventure for decades, until it really happened. As for Mars, it has been the subject of several sci-fi movies and spoofs, until Mars One announced this trip…

BC: It sounds more like a horror movie – imagine people volunteering, knowing that they’ll never return! News has it that arrangements will be done to cremate those who die there...

AD: Initially, 40 candidates will be shortlisted and trained, from which four will finally make it. So why would anyone want to miss out on this chance?

BC: Haven't you read about the Mars curse? There have been so many missions to Mars in the past decades that have failed at various stages...

AD: Perhaps technology will evolve enough in the coming decade to undo the curse and also prolong lives...

BC: In that case, why don't you use technology and find a way to bring the space passengers back? Surely, you are aware that the reason they're staying on is because we haven't figured out a way of powering the return journey...

AD: You never know - they might come up with something by then. Can you believe that the application fee is between $25 and $38, depending on the country one is from? That's probably cheaper than a video game featuring a Martian attack...

BC: But I read that the mission will cost over $6 billion... They will probably need half the United States to apply, for them to cover the costs....

AD: While the reports say that over 165,000 have already applied, I'm not sure how many more will, because the maiden flight will carry only two males and two females. However, they're planning to follow it up with a second flight in 2025.

BC: All these numbers and dates make my head spin - are these guys serious? Is this really going to happen? It sounds like a George Lucas film that's coming to life...

AD: Apparently, a couple of commercial cargo missions have already been made. Besides, they're going to start various missions to Mars to create a settlement there, sometime in 2016. The landing systems will also be tested several times to ensure that all goes well...

BC: What happens if they fall sick or if there's an emergency?

AD: Well, they'll have to handle it themselves...

BC: Are you telling me that while cremation facilities are being made, there will be no medical facilities?

AD: Look, you can't plan for contingencies, but you can plan for certainties, right? But jokes apart, the chosen candidates will be given training for around seven years. Do you know that over 8000 Indians have applied?

BC: Can't blame them. Think of the rising fuel costs - $25 can't cover a person’s fuel costs for a week, but now...

AD: ...it can get him to Mars.

BC: Right! And how long does it take to reach Mars?

AD: Around seven months.

BC: And once they're gone, how will the world know about them?

AD: There will be extensive media coverage, and everything from the shortlisting of astronauts and the final selection, to their voyage will be covered by the electronic media.

BC: So that's the miracle that technology's giving you - a one-way space voyage and a long-lasting reality show on TV. What about Facebook updates? I can see a ‘Yuck, Mars is so dusty’ message coming up…

AD: Stop being cynical about it. Isn't this expedition bringing together the best of science, telecom, space technology and...?

BC: More than what it brings together, I'm excited about what it can take away...

AD: I don't get you.

BC: How about nominating all those people you don't want to see on earth? Isn't it a great way to clean up the planet?

When newspapers make headlines…

Evolving technology and changing habits are making things tougher for newspapers, claims a tech fan.

BC: What do you think the future will be like?

AD: What happened? Read something terrible in the newspapers today?

BC: No, I read something terrible about the newspapers today.

AD: What do you mean?

BC: Well, newspapers formally began their journey with printed editions in the late 1600s. 300 years later, they extended their reach to the online medium. Soon, we began to have digital versions of newspapers. And now, we’ve reached a point where online newspapers have more takers...

AD: That's because they’re more convenient and certainly more updated...

BC: As a result, the print version began to vanish and web-only newspapers began to thrive. And now, we hear websites buying over newspapers - a far cry from the days when newspapers powered news portals to extend their presence online...

AD: Ok, now I get it... You're obviously upset by Jeff Bezos buying over Washington Post.

BC: But Bezos is not the first tech celebrity to buy a newspaper - Chris Hughes, the co-founder of Facebook bought The New Republic, but...

AD: What are you trying to say?

BC: Technology played a crucial role in ruining the newspaper industry - and now you claim it is rushing to the aid of a struggling newspaper.

AD: Look at it this way - if Bezos plans to marry tradition and technology, we could then have ‘The Washington E-Post’, a futuristic e-paper that could look like something straight out of a Harry Potter book or a Spielberg movie...

BC: I don't think the value of a newspaper can be expressed enough to this generation. When I was working, I remember starting the day with the front pages, reserving the sports and entertainment sections for the train ride to my client's place, and finally solving the crossword, word jumble and other puzzles on my way back from work. By the end of the day, I would have pored through every section of the paper...

AD: Look, it's about business and profits, not about emotions and nostalgia... Besides, who has the time for that today?

BC: Today's generation has all the time in the world for forwards, for posting status messages about burnt toast and for checking their status updates a hundred times a day, but then, where's the time to read a newspaper?

AD: But they’re getting their news feed by the minute on their mobiles - accept the fact that newspapers are losing out to their smarter e-versions…

BC: How can newspapers compete with an adversary that offers services free of cost? In fact, it is a double whammy because with more people preferring digital newspapers worldwide, the traditional print media is not only losing its readership, but also its advertising revenue - with readership dropping, advertisers are also moving away towards the electronic media.

AD: How can you blame them for moving towards where the eyeballs are? Besides, this is nothing new. Radio was challenged by TV, which is being challenged by the internet. It's all about reinventing yourself and keeping pace with the times...

BC: What rankles the industry is the fact that people can go straight to Google News and get all the news they want, free of cost. It's like a free online library...

AD: Google is actually directing readers to different newspaper sites - according to statistics, the site facilitates around six billion hits to various newspaper sites.

BC: But at the rate at which things are going, Google might be playing a much bigger role than we can ever imagine.

AD: How?

BC: All along, we used Google to search for news and information. Now, we might have to use it to locate the whereabouts of the newspapers that are vanishing from the scene.

The day the music died…

An old-timer cribs about the one thing that music can do without, but is forced to live with – technology.

AD: Hey, what are you listening to?

BC: Some vintage wonders from the 60s. They simply don't...

AD: ...make such music any more, right?

BC: It's clichéd, but true, isn't it? There's something so simple and nice about those songs that makes you want to close your eyes and lose yourself in them...

AD:  Why would you want to compare music from two different eras?

BC: Technology is the key difference - its excessive use is bringing down the standard of music today, especially in the movies...

AD: Why do you say that?

BC: Music seems to be created more by computers and software than by composers today. Back then, we had songs played out by large orchestras. Imagine all those violins and flutes and...

AD: Today's music is snappy and is obviously loved by the present generation, otherwise it wouldn't continue to exist.

BC: But there's no soul in most of the songs we hear today. They don't draw you into their world... Synthetic, metallic and noisy are the kind of adjectives that one would choose to describe today's music...

AD: Those are sweeping statements, probably based on what you've listened to... Movie songs are so vastly different across languages... the south possibly prefers music with a local flavour, while Hindi numbers are getting increasingly westernized...

BC: But technology has changed the way music is composed - so much of it is pre-programmed and the focus seems to be on mixing it right and not on creating fresh music.

AD: If not for technology, a lot of old-world music could be lost forever... Thanks to digital technology, several songs that would otherwise have been wiped out have been restored. There was an interesting article a couple of months back about how scientists used X-rays to restore a 200-year old opera...

BC: Ah, it must have revealed the skeletal structure of the song… But seriously speaking, I don’t have a problem with technology. It’s only that we seem to rely so heavily on it to...

AD: And what about the treasure trove of old songs that video sites like YouTube offers us? Practically every song and every piece of music that you would want to listen to or search for is available online...

BC: iTunes' library is equally impressive...

AD: Even accessing these songs has become simpler, as these songs are forwarded and shared many times over on social networking sites...

BC: I have a friend who shares old songs with little gems of information about them on Facebook...

AD: I know, I get those links too. And what about mobile downloads? You don't even have to carry a CD player any longer - your mobile has become your personal music player...

BC: Today, iPods and mp3 players have wiped out the music stores and several CD labels…

AD: And all those services with free downloads will eat into the market share of paid services like iTunes, Deezer and Spotify. That’s the point - technology keeps evolving, but the music continues…

BC: I recall an article that talked about a cellular service provider making more money through song downloads than music companies...

AD: That's right. Can you imagine the joy of carrying a thousand songs in your pocket?

BC: The problem is that when you get addicted to downloads, quantity scores over the finer aspects of a song. I get the feeling that people are spending more time downloading songs than they are, listening to them.

AD: But think of the advantages - there was a time when you had to hunt around for LP records or wait for the radio to play your favourite songs. But now, you can download them in about a minute.

BC: That timeframe is quite significant.

AD: Why, because downloads have become that fast?

BC: No, because that's all the time that people remember a song for. After that, it's time to move on to the next big chartbuster...

When technology goes for a six

With all the slips made by the DRS, is technology simply ending up becoming a silly point in cricket?

BC: Hi, have you been following the England vs Australia test series?

AD: Sad to see Australia’s journey downhill, but if there's something that's become a hotter topic of discussion than the Ashes, it's...

BC: ...the Decision Review System.

AD: Absolutely. But I still don't get what the fuss is all about.

BC: Well, the game was getting along fine without the intrusion of technology. But now, it’s kicked up a nasty storm...

AD: If you had followed the tests, you would know that there was human error as well. For instance, if someone forgets to activate Hot Spot and keeps it in the replay mode, how can you blame technology? Likewise, if the third umpire makes a mistake in interpreting the DRS, why is it the fault of...

BC: Look, the system was never 100% accurate to start with.

AD: Are you telling me that you will adopt technology only if it's perfect? So your mobile has never suffered signal drops, your laptop has never crashed, your hard disk has never...

BC: They do, but I don't let them decide anything for me, the way DRS is allowed to in cricket. Besides, cricket has this glorious uncertainty that's getting marred by programming technology into it.

AD: Are you suggesting that we go backwards and remove DRS from the game?

BC: But if it doesn't work satisfactorily, what's the point in holding on to it?

AD: Imagine what would have happened had the corporate world rejected computers in the 1940s because they were the size of a room, or if households rejected the PC in the 80s because it had less than 30MB of storage space...

BC: So what's your point?

AD: Technology evolves over the years - we need to give it both space and time...

BC: But think of the controversies until then - remember the 2011 World Cup? There were so many issues back then too...

AD: Look, DRS is meant to be a combination of various technologies, including Hot Spot and Hawk Eye, but for various reasons, Hot Spot was never implemented during the World Cup.

BC: They used super slow motion replays and stump mikes…

AD: How can you expect a system to work if all its components are not in place? Isn't it our mistake that we don't do things the right way and then scream blue murder when they go wrong?

BC: I would still maintain that life was simpler before DRS…

AD: Okay, let me put it this way. On TV, you use technology to get up close and show every little nick and miss, right down to the tiniest millimetre by which a bowler has overstepped or a batsman has fallen short of his crease. If you don't use the same technology to determine whether the batsman is out or not, you will infuriate the fans who will feel hard done by the umpire.

BC: But that's how cricket has always been played. Besides, neutral umpires were introduced to get rid of the home team bias...

AD: Instead of complaining about technology, why can't the umpires and the players be trained to use it better? Besides, technology is already in use by umpires to determine run outs, no-balls, stumpings and illegitimate catches caught after the ball bounced – so what’s wrong in extending it to lbws and other forms of dismissals as well?

BC: You'll have to ask the ICC that. But if the DRS continues, it might pose a health hazard to the Aussies…

AD: How is that?

BC: They are the ones who seem badly affected by it. And with all that exposure to infrared technology and heat signatures, the Australian cricketers may not go home with the Ashes – but they sure could leave with a lot of rashes. 

Quiet please - technology at play

The eclectic mix of tradition and technology is what makes Wimbledon so special, claims a tech fan.

AD: Hi there, feeling sad that Wimbledon's over?

BC: I was looking forward to another Federer - Nadal final, but...

AD: Well, it doesn't matter who plays, but as far as I'm concerned, technology seems to be winning hands down these days.

BC: Why can't you just watch the game for the game’s sake? Besides, Wimbledon has always been the domain of traditionalists – don’t tell me the geeks have taken over…

AD: But…

BC: So which aspect of technology are you referring to? The one used for the line call?

AD: It's called Hawkeye.

BC: The same system used in cricket?

AD: Yes, isn’t it unbelievable? Ball tracking, simulation and graphics all come together in a fraction of a second...

BC: And what happened to that one-eyed giant who was monitoring the lines and the net?

AD: Cyclops? That technology has been retired, in favour of a more visual aid...

BC: I'm sure some former players would be sore that they had to put up with the loud beeps that would shatter the silence and make people jump out of their skins...

AD: Well, there’s silence only if the likes of Serena Williams or Sharapova are not playing – their grunts have broken several decibel records. But the former players have several other things to feel jealous about...

BC: Like what?

AD: IBM has been closely associated with Wimbledon and has created programs for player stats, match analysis and performance analysis, all of which are helping both players and coaches, big time. In fact, they launched a service called Player Report back in 1994, which analysed the strengths and weaknesses of players...

BC: So players can not only better their own game, but also study their opponents.

AD: Absolutely, and in 1999, they installed displays for the speed guns, which made spectators gasp with disbelief when the likes of Kafelnikov and Greg Rusedski boomed at over 200 kmph.

BC: I still remember Sampras' comprehensive victory over Agassi in that final...

AD: What about the 2008 epic final when Nadal beat Federer? That was the year when Wimbledon scores could be tracked online...

BC: That was a heck of a match, but I thought the Wimbledon website had come up before 2008...

AD: I was referring to SlamTracker, a system that used player patterns and past records to enable fans to play a more active role while watching matches. As for the website, the official Wimbledon site came up in 1995.

BC: I still remember watching McEnroe versus Borg in my black & white TV, in the early 80s...

AD: We’ve come a long way from there. Today, you can follow all the action on your mobile. 2009 saw the first iPhone app for Wimbledon and this year, the iPad app has been launched – reports have it that it has some really exciting video content and camera angles...

BC: That's good news for the fans...

AD: Well, even the umpires benefitted from technology – computerized score pads were introduced in 1999.

BC: But technology being used to update scores is not new.

AD: In that case, how would you react to technology that measures players' energy levels and stamina, their movement across the court, their speed and many other aspects of their performance? It's called SecondSight.

BC: Talking of stamina, I must confess that it’s getting increasingly exhausting.

AD: You’re referring to the five setters, aren’t you, like the one between Djokovic and del Potro?

BC: No, I was talking about keeping pace with technology, for fans like me. By the time we set up all these gadgets, tune in to the match, study the stats available, analyse the data and arrive at our conclusions, we will be more tired than these magnificent men in their epic five-setters.

SMS arrived, telegram gone STOP

"The transition from dots and dashes to zeroes and ones leaves a lot to be desired," complains an old-timer.

AD: Hi, why the sad face? Is your computer down again?

BC: What hath God wrought?

AD: Wait a minute - are you quoting Shakespeare?

BC: No, it was the message carried by the first telegram on May 24, 1844. The message becomes relevant all over again because the telegram is on its way out next month.

AD: But people hardly use it any longer, so why not give it a decent send-off instead of going into mourning?

BC: You'll never understand. It's like a heritage building that has been standing proud for over 160 years and suddenly, you get the news that it won't be around from July.

AD: Don't get so emotional - anything that has lost its utility value needs to go, right? Do you still have your old radio or your black & white TV for sentimental value? You've thrown them out to make way for the new, haven't you?

BC: I have, but the telegram is different - it was a huge breakthrough in technology and deserves to be around simply for its historic value. Besides, unlike the gargantuan radio or TV of the 70s, this one doesn't not clutter your home - all it needs is a little corner in a post office...

AD: Never thought I'd see the day when you would root for technology, even if it’s of the archaic kind...

BC: I still have the telegram that brought in the news of my admission to one of India's best engineering colleges. That was special...

AD: I can understand that, but asking thousands of post offices to operate a telegraph department just because you feel sentimental about it is a bit much, isn't it?

BC: That's not what I...

AD: Besides, email, instant messaging and SMS-es have entrenched themselves so firmly in our lives that we don't need telegrams...

BC: Agreed, but what of all the telegraph employees across the country? Isn't it true that technology will now result in loss of several jobs?

AD: I don't think so. Guess they will all be transferred to other departments... Just look at the positives of today's technology...

BC: Things have become faster, I agree. Text messages and emails take a second or two to reach their destination, compared to the fastest telegram which would still require a few hours...

AD: What about the cost factor? Text messages and emails are free, but you have to pay for a telegram.

BC: I can see at least two advantages there.

AD: Really?

BC: Telegrams taught us to be succinct and made us think before we shot our mouth off, because every word cost money.

AD: And what's the second?

BC: You would never receive a telegram from your spouse with the message, "Hi, where are you?" if you've already told her that you will be with the boys at a pub or a bowling alley. When you're saddled with a mobile, you can't escape that question...

AD: It's called Momtext these days - worried mothers are most likely to send that message out day after day to find out where their kids are... But speaking of costs, BSNL has been incurring huge losses because it's essentially running a service that does not have too many takers. So, after discussing the issue with the postal department, a decision was taken to stop telegrams.

BC: But there are several countries like Belgium, Sweden, Russia, Germany, Canada, Switzerland and the UK that continue to use telegrams.

AD: Yes, on the other hand, the US, whose decisions affect us more than those of any other country, shut down its telegraph department a few years ago.

BC: Well, there’s one redeeming feature of the telegram that today's generation would have enjoyed...

AD: What is it?

BC: Back then, we never received telegrams stating, "Congratulations from FREE NATIONAL LOTTERY on having won the sum of 970,000.00 GBP STOP For claims contact Mr Paul Anderson STOP"

Low price, no performance?

‘Why is it that low-cost technology always ends up being junk?’ An old-timer spars with a tech fan.

AD: Hi, did you get that tablet you had ordered online?

BC: Yes, I did.

AD: What happened? You don't seem to be very happy with it...

BC: It turned out to be a disaster. It weighs a ton, runs out of charge in 10 minutes flat and gets heated up so badly that your fingertips get singed on touch. Also, each little operation takes ages, so downloading an app or a game is absolutely impossible...

AD: Why don't you return it?

BC: I tried - each time I called, I was asked to send a mail, but when I followed it up with another call, they claimed that they hadn't received a single mail...

AD: That’s pretty unfortunate…

BC: This is precisely the reason why I hate online purchases. You keep talking about how technology has made our lives so convenient, but look how it has left me high and dry...

AD: Listen, you probably decided to shop for it online because it was cheaper, so why...

BC: Hold on, are you telling me that if it's cheap, it has to be bad? So, does that mean that I need to buy a 64 GB iPad4 with retina display and wi-fi for 52,000 bucks and anything less will give me grief?

AD: Ok, be specific. What are you against - tablets, online shopping or the deals that the sites announce regularly?

BC: It doesn't matter, they all have one thing behind them - technology. Besides, I can understand a good product costing more than an average one, but it's weird to think that just because I've paid less, I’m stuck with a piece of junk that no amount of technology can make operational.

AD: But why blame technology? It could be a bad product to start with.

BC: How does it matter if it's one bad piece or if the entire batch is rubbish? It's not going to change things for me.

AD: Why make such a big issue out of such a small tablet?

BC: So what should the tablet have for me to make a big issue out of my predicament - a 60 inch screen?

AD: That's not what I meant... What I'm saying is that as with all products and brands, good quality doesn't come cheap. So why single technology out for criticism?

BC: You must have read about the razor and blade pricing strategy where they give away the razor for next to nothing and charge hefty amounts on the blade. Likewise, they’ve first allowed technology to invade every facet of our lives and now, they’re charging exorbitant amounts. Take healthcare, for instance. Expensive technology sends the cost of medical care skyrocketing...

AD: That’s probably because of the new equipment...

BC: Precisely - these hi-tech scans and laser treatments cost several thousands that make them unaffordable. Likewise, education has suddenly become a premium investment because some schools have opted for technology in the classrooms... Think of the kids that cannot afford such schooling.

AD: If a kid's smart, it shouldn't make a difference whether he's learning from a blackboard or a smartboard...

BC: What about your regular purchases? While a branded shirt or the best quality of rice cost a premium, there's an option available for the common man that's both affordable and usable - unlike the dumb tablet I purchased. Just because it's cheap, I'm supposed to accept it if it won’t work. All that it's given me is a whopping headache...

AD: I know of a tablet that can solve the problem - it's both cheap and effective, and it's made with the latest technology...

BC: That's a relief! Hope it's something that won't let me down.

AD: Actually, it's the kind that you need to down with a glass of water.

BC: How will that help me?

AD: Well, you bought a tablet that gave you a headache – this one will help you get rid of it.

Putting technology in a fix

You can bet on technology to deliver, but using technology to bet on a game is a no-no, says a tech fan.

BC: Hi, why the morose look?

AD: My biggest passion in life – besides technology – is cricket. And look what they've done to it…

BC: Unfortunately, both your passions have colluded to create this disaster.

AD: The problem is one of human greed and money. Why do you blame technology?

BC: It's technology that has helped bookies go state-of-the-art in their methods to gamble and fix...

AD: Wasn't there any betting before computers, mobiles and the net? I’ve read so many scandals about boxing and horse racing from the past. Wasn't there a movie on a baseball team that had fixed a World Series?

BC: Yes, Eight Men Out – it’s a story about eight players of the Chicago White Sox fixing the 1919 World Series for money. Since it was a one-off incident, it led to a movie. Today, there are so many betting and fixing incidents that one can make a long-running mega serial out of them.

AD: And you think it's because of technology... But look at the positive side of it too - it's finally technology that's helping the police smoke the offenders out of their hiding places.

BC: You’re referring to the sting operations and phone call recordings...

AD: The authorities are also analysing the mirror images that they have obtained of various laptops and mobiles involved in the scam - these would not have been possible without technology.

BC: So you have technology coming to the aid of both the people trying to cheat and those trying to nab them. The question is, who's winning?

AD: You have to wait and watch. But the bookies are reported to be getting very tech-savvy in their approach. They are even recruiting young hackers, programmers and tech specialists to tamper with servers, hack websites and create programs for their operations.

BC: Surely, the authorities can follow their digital footprints and track them down...

AD: Apparently, these bookies never use the same set of equipment twice - from mobiles and SIM Cards to laptops and servers, they destroy everything after use so that they are never traced. Also, all the SIM Cards and handsets used are either stolen or bought in the second-hand market, so they don’t lead back to the bookies.

BC: Which brings us back to the point I was making - technology is giving the bad elements a free hand...

AD: Why? Do you really think bookies with pencils and little notebooks from your time were better than the bookies with pen drives and notebooks - of the electronic variety - today?

BC: According to reports, bookies use devices known as link boxes, which allow them to handle several calls simultaneously. And all the calls and bets placed are recorded to ensure that there are no goof-ups. Besides, no one can go back on their word after losing. Also, conference calls keep everyone in the loop. Such things were not possible in my times…

AD: Sounds like a well-oiled corporate set-up, doesn't it?

BC: But it could get worse. Can you imagine the situation if social networking sites are used for this purpose? With the amount of traffic that’s on these sites, code language will go completely unnoticed even if it appears on your friend's wall or as a tweet. 

AD: That would be disastrous...

BC: But I agree with one thing that you’ve always been saying – technology has sure made things a lot quicker…

AD: How do you say that?

BC: There was a time when one had to wait for five days to know the result of a test match. Then it became one day, with ODIs, and then around four hours, for a T20. But now, with the right connections, one can figure out which way a match is going to go, even before it begins.