SMS arrived, telegram gone STOP

"The transition from dots and dashes to zeroes and ones leaves a lot to be desired," complains an old-timer.

AD: Hi, why the sad face? Is your computer down again?

BC: What hath God wrought?

AD: Wait a minute - are you quoting Shakespeare?

BC: No, it was the message carried by the first telegram on May 24, 1844. The message becomes relevant all over again because the telegram is on its way out next month.

AD: But people hardly use it any longer, so why not give it a decent send-off instead of going into mourning?

BC: You'll never understand. It's like a heritage building that has been standing proud for over 160 years and suddenly, you get the news that it won't be around from July.

AD: Don't get so emotional - anything that has lost its utility value needs to go, right? Do you still have your old radio or your black & white TV for sentimental value? You've thrown them out to make way for the new, haven't you?

BC: I have, but the telegram is different - it was a huge breakthrough in technology and deserves to be around simply for its historic value. Besides, unlike the gargantuan radio or TV of the 70s, this one doesn't not clutter your home - all it needs is a little corner in a post office...

AD: Never thought I'd see the day when you would root for technology, even if it’s of the archaic kind...

BC: I still have the telegram that brought in the news of my admission to one of India's best engineering colleges. That was special...

AD: I can understand that, but asking thousands of post offices to operate a telegraph department just because you feel sentimental about it is a bit much, isn't it?

BC: That's not what I...

AD: Besides, email, instant messaging and SMS-es have entrenched themselves so firmly in our lives that we don't need telegrams...

BC: Agreed, but what of all the telegraph employees across the country? Isn't it true that technology will now result in loss of several jobs?

AD: I don't think so. Guess they will all be transferred to other departments... Just look at the positives of today's technology...

BC: Things have become faster, I agree. Text messages and emails take a second or two to reach their destination, compared to the fastest telegram which would still require a few hours...

AD: What about the cost factor? Text messages and emails are free, but you have to pay for a telegram.

BC: I can see at least two advantages there.

AD: Really?

BC: Telegrams taught us to be succinct and made us think before we shot our mouth off, because every word cost money.

AD: And what's the second?

BC: You would never receive a telegram from your spouse with the message, "Hi, where are you?" if you've already told her that you will be with the boys at a pub or a bowling alley. When you're saddled with a mobile, you can't escape that question...

AD: It's called Momtext these days - worried mothers are most likely to send that message out day after day to find out where their kids are... But speaking of costs, BSNL has been incurring huge losses because it's essentially running a service that does not have too many takers. So, after discussing the issue with the postal department, a decision was taken to stop telegrams.

BC: But there are several countries like Belgium, Sweden, Russia, Germany, Canada, Switzerland and the UK that continue to use telegrams.

AD: Yes, on the other hand, the US, whose decisions affect us more than those of any other country, shut down its telegraph department a few years ago.

BC: Well, there’s one redeeming feature of the telegram that today's generation would have enjoyed...

AD: What is it?

BC: Back then, we never received telegrams stating, "Congratulations from FREE NATIONAL LOTTERY on having won the sum of 970,000.00 GBP STOP For claims contact Mr Paul Anderson STOP"

Low price, no performance?

‘Why is it that low-cost technology always ends up being junk?’ An old-timer spars with a tech fan.

AD: Hi, did you get that tablet you had ordered online?

BC: Yes, I did.

AD: What happened? You don't seem to be very happy with it...

BC: It turned out to be a disaster. It weighs a ton, runs out of charge in 10 minutes flat and gets heated up so badly that your fingertips get singed on touch. Also, each little operation takes ages, so downloading an app or a game is absolutely impossible...

AD: Why don't you return it?

BC: I tried - each time I called, I was asked to send a mail, but when I followed it up with another call, they claimed that they hadn't received a single mail...

AD: That’s pretty unfortunate…

BC: This is precisely the reason why I hate online purchases. You keep talking about how technology has made our lives so convenient, but look how it has left me high and dry...

AD: Listen, you probably decided to shop for it online because it was cheaper, so why...

BC: Hold on, are you telling me that if it's cheap, it has to be bad? So, does that mean that I need to buy a 64 GB iPad4 with retina display and wi-fi for 52,000 bucks and anything less will give me grief?

AD: Ok, be specific. What are you against - tablets, online shopping or the deals that the sites announce regularly?

BC: It doesn't matter, they all have one thing behind them - technology. Besides, I can understand a good product costing more than an average one, but it's weird to think that just because I've paid less, I’m stuck with a piece of junk that no amount of technology can make operational.

AD: But why blame technology? It could be a bad product to start with.

BC: How does it matter if it's one bad piece or if the entire batch is rubbish? It's not going to change things for me.

AD: Why make such a big issue out of such a small tablet?

BC: So what should the tablet have for me to make a big issue out of my predicament - a 60 inch screen?

AD: That's not what I meant... What I'm saying is that as with all products and brands, good quality doesn't come cheap. So why single technology out for criticism?

BC: You must have read about the razor and blade pricing strategy where they give away the razor for next to nothing and charge hefty amounts on the blade. Likewise, they’ve first allowed technology to invade every facet of our lives and now, they’re charging exorbitant amounts. Take healthcare, for instance. Expensive technology sends the cost of medical care skyrocketing...

AD: That’s probably because of the new equipment...

BC: Precisely - these hi-tech scans and laser treatments cost several thousands that make them unaffordable. Likewise, education has suddenly become a premium investment because some schools have opted for technology in the classrooms... Think of the kids that cannot afford such schooling.

AD: If a kid's smart, it shouldn't make a difference whether he's learning from a blackboard or a smartboard...

BC: What about your regular purchases? While a branded shirt or the best quality of rice cost a premium, there's an option available for the common man that's both affordable and usable - unlike the dumb tablet I purchased. Just because it's cheap, I'm supposed to accept it if it won’t work. All that it's given me is a whopping headache...

AD: I know of a tablet that can solve the problem - it's both cheap and effective, and it's made with the latest technology...

BC: That's a relief! Hope it's something that won't let me down.

AD: Actually, it's the kind that you need to down with a glass of water.

BC: How will that help me?

AD: Well, you bought a tablet that gave you a headache – this one will help you get rid of it.