Thanks for the cyber week

Once every year, technology magically transforms a week into a cyber week, claims a tech fan.

BC: Hi, did you finally buy that camera you were looking for?

AD: Yes, I had messaged my friend Mukund in the US - he got me a fabulous Nikon camera on Black Friday.

BC: Huh?

AD: It’s the day after Thanksgiving Day, when the festive shopping spree begins…

BC: So what’s black about it?

AD: A few years ago, the shopping crowds and the traffic on that day gave the American authorities and the police such a tough time that they began referring to it as Black Friday…

BC: Sounds like the various sale events we have here for New Year and Diwali…

AD: The big difference is that a lot of action has shifted to the net – the online version is called Cyber Black Friday.

BC: Technology... and Thanksgiving!

AD: Absolutely. Millions thank technology for the websites and apps that indicate the best deals and the nearest outlets where they are available…

BC: I heard that most malls and outlets have begun opening shutters on Thanksgiving night…

AD: Yup, that’s why Thanksgiving Day is also known as Cyber Thursday.

BC: With people deciding to binge on deals instead, several turkeys must have felt relieved… Guess a Cyber Thursday would help beat the rush of a Cyber Black Friday…

AD: Absolutely, Friday gets pretty manic - many websites and apps crash because of the online traffic. That would explain why most avid shoppers decide to shop on Cyber Thursday. However, for those who are more interested in their Thanksgiving dinner, Small Business Saturdays are always there…

BC: What’s that – a day for small businesses to sell their products?

AD: That’s right. While this is mostly a local event, technology - as always - lends a shoulder to promote the event through social media. Small businesses are offered web pages and online advertising opportunities free of cost to reach out to potential customers, and to offer discounts and coupons…

BC: So what comes after – Cyber Sunday?

AD: Well, Cyber Sunday exists, but it’s a pay-per-view freestyle wrestling event. Instead of chasing deals, you’ll be watching hulks chase each other inside a ring. The idea is to relax and wait for Cyber Monday, which has become one of the most happening online shopping events of the year…

BC: Don’t people have to go to work after the long weekend?

AD: They do, and quite a few of them have tried to shop online from their workplace... There have been cases of employees being fired for shopping while at work.

BC: Imagine looking for deals over the weekend and looking for a job on Monday!

AD: You bet! And as a follow up to Cyber Monday, Australian companies have added another day to the online shopping spree, called…

BC: Cyber Tuesday. Look at the brighter side of it – at least, you don’t have to get fired from work on a Monday.

AD: The real bright spot to the day is actually a concept known as Giving Tuesday – after all your splurging, you could get on to a social media site on Tuesday and donate to charity...

BC: A nice way to atone for one’s greed. Why do I get the feeling that you’ve missed out on something…?

AD: There’s a Cyber Wednesday too, thanks to companies that want to stretch the shopping bonanza for the entire week…

BC: Reminds me of the life of Solomon Grundy – the only difference is that by the end of the week, you would want to bury your credit card instead. 

Technology to the rescue

There are times when technology kicks up a storm – and times when it helps handle one, claims a young techie.

BC: Hi, it’s sad to see the trees missing in your neighbourhood…

AD: Blame it on Nilam - she took quite a few with her.

BC: But her big sister seems to have created a lot more havoc in the US…

AD: Sandy? Some of my friends in New York and New Jersey had a tough time. There was no power for a week – and you know how almost everything there runs on electricity…

BC: With half the country shutting down, wonder how the media went to work…

AD: It was technology that saved the day. Smartphones captured images and videos, social networking sites became message boards, blogs ran articles while Twitter messages gave regular updates… In short, the local residents turned journalists and offered updates by the minute.

BC: But how does one verify that the news they give is authentic?

AD: You’re right. At times, rumours and fake news did the rounds. For instance, someone had posted that the New York Stock Exchange was flooded. This was picked up by many and re-tweeted so many times that even major news agencies believed it...

BC: I remember residents becoming journalists for a local tabloid in my neighbourhood… So, such collaborative efforts existed even before technology arrived.

AD: It’s not just about local tabloids – even TIME magazine decided to capture Sandy through mobile cameras and uploaded the images on Instagram…

BC: I think one of those images made it to the cover of the magazine, right?

AD: Right! And with social media coming in, the role of technology in disaster relief has become more prominent. Take every natural disaster that has struck us in the past few years, like the earthquakes in Japan and New Zealand last year, or the floods in Thailand…

BC: Good to know that people use Facebook for better things than wishing their spouse a happy anniversary…

AD: No kidding! Reports have it that Instagram had as many as 10 images with the hashtag #sandy being uploaded every second.

BC: For once, the general public wouldn’t have minded being bombarded with updates and messages…

AD: Well, even the authorities were on social media to reach out to people when they realised that newspapers and television would never get there. From passing on important warnings to announcing relief measures, social networking sites became the favourite media vehicle for many.

BC: I’ve been reading about the death toll and the widespread damage caused – seems like a nightmare…

AD: Reports mention losses amounting to over $ 20 billion. Sandy had become such a hot topic on Twitter that it was popularly dubbed Frankenstorm, in other words a ‘Frankenstein of a storm’. Unfortunately, it turned out to be true…

BC: Guess it just goes on to show that when faced with nature’s fury, even technology has to stand and watch helplessly.

AD: But technology did help many who were trapped in their houses or in flood-ravaged areas. There were several SOS messages that were constantly forwarded, shared or re-tweeted by many. This helped as these tweets found their way to various rescue forces and government departments that despatched teams to help those who were stuck.

BC: Back home, Nilam has done its bit to mess up the city... There was so much garbage piled up everywhere.

AD: And before all that garbage could be moved out, the streets have exploded with more trash…

BC: Another cyclone?

AD: No, I was referring to Diwali – the streets are strewn with leftovers of crackers, cartons, plastic covers and paper. 

Shall we tag the President?

‘The US Presidential elections have found a new weapon – social media,’ claims a young enthusiast.

BC: Hey, did you watch the Presidential debates on TV?

AD: That’s 60s stuff… You should have caught the action online - it was incredible.

BC: Really?

AD: Reports have it that the first debate was the most tweeted political event in the history of Twitter, with over 10 million tweets.

BC: I’m surprised at the importance being given to social media…

AD: With almost 60% of the voters in the US active on social networking sites, neither party wants to miss out on them...

BC: So, who’s leading?

AD: While there are reports favouring both sides, Obama is generally considered more active online. He has over 21 million Twitter followers and over 31 million fans on his Facebook page. These numbers dwarf those of his Republican counterpart…

BC: Guess he had a headstart, having been President for a term already…

AD: That’s right. Social media is also being used as an analytical tool to gather data, like the response of the public to the campaigns…

BC: So what’s been the response like?

AD: Sometimes, it soars like Big Bird…

BC: What’s that - the eagle?

AD: No, Big Bird is a character from a popular series, Sesame Street. In one of the debates, Romney had mentioned that he liked the character – and soon, there were several videos, photos, spoofs and comments, all of which went viral…

BC: So now, Romney has both the donkey and Big Bird to watch out for!

AD: He also has the internet to monitor, because more Democrats have been contributing online - through websites and smartphones - to see their party win, compared to Republicans...

BC: Perhaps Republicans are more comfortable with old-fashioned methods of donations…

AD: What’s equally concerning for Romney are jibes that are creating havoc online - like Romnesia, a term coined by Obama about his opponent backtracking on his original policies…

BC: I’m sure the social networks must be lapping it all up…

AD: Absolutely! Likewise, Romney’s ‘binders full of women’ comment, which was originally intended to explain his search for qualified women to be part of his team, ended up being parodied on Twitter and Facebook.

BC: Poor man, so technology does have him in a bind…

AD: The other big problem is when your opponent has more followers – they simply take over your hashtag and ‘out-tweet’ you. Apparently, the Democrats have stolen the Republicans’ thunder at least a couple of times on Twitter.

BC: But the number of fans or followers in an online forum may not be an indication of the number of votes that a candidate might get…

AD: Absolutely. Besides, if popularity on Twitter can decide who’s going to be President, then the United States could well get its first woman President.

BC: Really? Who?

AD: Lady Gaga. She has over 30 million followers, which is 10 million more than Barack Obama.

BC: Well, the voters will truly face the music if that happens…

AD: It’s a bit like the opinion polls before an election... The final result could simply make a mockery of the predictions – we’ve seen it happen many times in India.

BC: However, whoever wins the US elections is going to feel like Superman as he occupies the world’s most powerful chair…

AD: But even Superman has acknowledged that social media is more powerful than he is.

BC: What do you mean?

AD: Well, news has it that Clark Kent has quit his job as a reporter for the Daily Planet and has taken up a job as a blogger in a social network…

Stop kidding with technology…

Using technology to find baby names is fine, but using technology terms as names is not, claims an old-timer.

AD: Hi, those people who just left - clients of yours?

BC: No, my neighbours… They are looking for a name for their baby – one that’s well-recognized and is easily pronounceable…

AD: How about Facebook?

BC: Are you're suggesting that they use Facebook to find a name for their baby?

AD: No, they could just name their baby Facebook.

BC: You're kidding...

AD: Well, a proud father in Egypt named his daughter Facebook... in honour of the revolution that took place there.

BC: What will they think of next? The Like button?

AD: Sorry, that's taken too. A baby in Israel has been named ‘Like’, because its parents were inspired by Facebook’s ‘Like’ button.

BC: Why is it that when Egypt and Facebook come together, there’s always a revolution brewing? I get the feeling that today’s generation is getting too casual when it comes to naming kids...  

AD: I don’t know about getting casual, but one can get rich by choosing the right name. A couple in Kansas won $5000 by naming their baby IUMA, or Internet Underground Music Archive, an online music site.

BC: Sounds complicated… Why can't they just use simple names like Jack, John or Richard?

AD: Even those are inspired by technology... Jack Kilby co-invented the microchip, John Sculley was the CEO of Apple from ’83 to ’93, and Richard Stallman is the American programmer who started the GNU Project...

BC: This is getting ridiculous... At this rate, there won't be a name untouched by technology.

AD: That's perhaps why you need to crowdsource it...

BC: What's that?

AD: It’s like outsourcing, but to a large number of people. For instance, you could go online and ask your friends and colleagues to come up with name options...

BC: Sometimes, I wonder if the parents are too busy to come up with a name themselves…

AD: If you are the CEO of Yahoo!, then you would have many things on your mind, I guess, besides your baby's name...

BC: Really?

AD: Marissa Mayer apparently had a nine-day maternity leave and got back to work, so you really can't blame her for leaving the naming to her employees and friends...

BC: I'll never understand this... Naming your kid can be such a memorable experience...

AD: It can be quite rewarding too... A couple in the US have named their new-born Dovahkiin, after a character in a computer game.

BC: And their reward?

AD: Free games for life! Of course, the prerequisite was that the baby should have been born on 11/11/11.

BC: I don't know what to say…

AD: How about coming up with a name that you can pass on to your neighbours?

BC: How about iPhone apps?

AD: Are you suggesting that they name their baby iPhone apps?

BC: Don’t be silly, they could use an app to come up with a name... There are so many of these apps around to help young parents find a name for their baby...

AD: I’m amazed by these parents who go through such pains to find the perfect name, but when it comes to their choice of colours for the kid...

BC: Right, baby girls have to be in pink and boys in blue...

AD: And then they grow up and swap colours, so when you mention pink to boys and blue to girls, it's music to their ears...

BC: Really?

AD: Well, as long as it's a singer named Pink and a boy band named Blue.

Technology? It’s child’s play!

Can you trust technology when it’s in the hands of whiz kids and weirdos, wonders an old-timer.

AD: Hi, where were you?

BC: There was a technology exhibition in the neighbourhood school…

AD: You – in a tech exhibition? Hopefully, the school has taken a photo of the moment and will display it in its hall of fame…

BC: I went there because my grandnephew was participating. But it was quite interesting - they even had a separate section on robotics…

AD: I bet it must have taken you right back to your childhood, to Johnny Socko and his Flying Robot…

BC: Don’t be ridiculous, I was working when that series was aired. If you’re trying to make fun of the technology back then, don’t forget that we had movies featuring man on the moon a long time before he got there.

AD: Ok, enough of your glory days. Did you learn a thing or two about technology, at least from the kids?

BC: Stop being so condescending towards them… You’ll be surprised at the number of things that were invented by kids…

AD: Besides a million reasons for not doing their homework, you mean...

BC: Guess you’re speaking from experience. Kids have several key inventions to their credit, from crayon holders and magnetic wallpaper, to toy trucks and trampolines…

AD: Those could have been sheer accidents…

BC: How does that change things? Even adults have invented so many things quite unintentionally…

AD: You mean like trying to invent a TV, but coming up with a radio instead because the video wasn’t working?

BC: I don’t know about the television, but the microwave was invented by accident when the Raytheon Corporation was experimenting with a magnetron…

AD: And what did they do to celebrate? Roast popcorn in it?

BC: They actually did, but not to celebrate. They wanted to see if it would work. And speaking of corn, cornflakes was another ingenious invention that came about by accident...

AD: Great, so what you’re saying is that one half of our inventions were by kids and the other half, by sheer accident. If that’s the case, what exactly have our famous inventors been doing, besides encashing their royalty cheques?

BC: They were perhaps busy creating and evolving the technology that you speak so highly of.

AD: Look, technology is about working smart – it’s not about bumbling your way through, as if you’re part of a Pink Panther movie.

BC: But technology is also about thinking smart – can you imagine making millions by selling virtual electronic pets that had to be looked after and fed? These pet simulated living animals in every way, from making sounds to having untrained potty habits...

AD: Sounds crazy!

BC: Yes, but they were a big hit in the 90s and could be carried around or reared at home.

AD: C’mon, this is making a mockery of technology.

BC: But technology does have a long way to go - until then, it’s pretty much a joke.

AD: I don’t get it – when exactly will you agree that technology is a lifesaver in today’s day and age?

BC: The day my car doesn’t break down when I’m rushing somewhere, or when my computer doesn’t crash and delete all my data just after I’ve painstakingly finished a project or…

AD: But that’s inevitable – haven’t you heard of Murphy’s Law?

BC: Well, until Mr. Murphy can be challenged, technology will remain a mute spectator while things continue to go wrong. And if you’re into Bollywood, you would understand why it’s called Barfi’s law. 

Liberty, web activity, security…

Surfing the net at work has a downside – the Wi-Fi waves leave behind a lot of muck, claims a young techie.

BC: Hi, I had sent you an urgent mail regarding my travel plans. Did you see it?

AD: Sorry, new rules at work. No personal mails allowed…

BC: Surely, you could have checked it on your mobile…

AD: No, I’m not permitted to - it’s for official use only…

BC: Perhaps they’ve got a point. If you keep checking your personal mail or your Facebook account during working hours, it would definitely affect office productivity…

AD: Don’t get me started. We’ve been given Blackberries so that we can be connected to work, 24 x 7. So, if we are expected to work from home, why can’t we spend a few minutes at work on personal activities?

BC: That’s funny! A couple of years ago, you were shouting from the rooftops that your company had given you a smartphone and a laptop – you thought you had arrived in life…

AD: You’re exaggerating – the truth is, you have to take it when they give it. The least you can do is feel good about it.

BC: But how does checking mail on a phone compromise office security?

AD: If your phone gets infected and if you try to connect it to a network or transfer a file, you’ve provided an opening for an attack…

BC: See, I’ve always cautioned you about technology, but…

AD: Why blame technology for faulty workplace policies?

BC: Because in our times, chat sessions were typically around the water cooler – and they couldn’t stop us from drinking water.

AD: Well, things have changed for the better…

BC: Really? What about this sudden change at your workplace?

AD: It began with an employee opening a forward – the attachment let loose some kind of virus into the network.

BC: And…?

AD: The server crashed, a lot of files were lost and…

BC: …your company lost a lot of money.

AD: And a major client too.

BC: But I thought you guys had…

AD: Yes, firewalls, internet security, antivirus – we have the works…

BC: But are they enough to solve this problem?

AD: Why do you ask that?

BC: A nephew of mine was working in a multimedia firm where most sites were blocked. The young kids there took it as a challenge to unearth newer mail services and social networking sites on a regular basis…

AD: That’s not right. Imagine if this were to happen in a bank. An unsolicited mail that is opened or an infected USB that is plugged into a system can create unimaginable havoc…

BC: So what’s the solution?

AD: Security measures can work only when employees are careful about what they do online.

BC: But this kind of carelessness is normally displayed by junior employees – and in most cases, they have little or no access to classified information…

AD: Well, each organization uses the latest technology to turn its network into a fortress. But the minute someone like my friend at the workplace lets in a virus or worm, the walls of the ‘fortress’ end up being easily penetrated. So it really doesn’t matter who opens the door, the horse is sure to bolt…

BC: Or the Trojan horse is sure to come in...

AD: Right!

BC: The horse could well bolt, but it looks like office security is finding itself stuck between two walls…

AD: I don’t understand…

BC: A firewall on one side and Facebook’s wall on the other – I’m not surprised that office security is nowhere to be seen. 

Clicks like a mouse, sticks like a gecko…

Who would have thought that a lizard would trigger a revolution in the tech world?

AD: Hi, back from your walk?

BC: Yes! The cool breeze, the sunrise, the sight of the frothy waves - it’s probably why poets are so much in love with nature…

AD: Well, even the tech world has constantly sought inspiration from nature.

BC: How? By making computers hibernate?

AD: Very funny! You must have noticed the Catseye road reflectors during your early morning walks… They were inspired by the way the cat’s eyes reflect light in absolute darkness...

BC: I bet the mouse was one such inspiration too. Once you get one into your room, there’s no getting rid of it…

AD: You’re the only person in the world who can look at an airplane flying overhead and think of bird dropping.

BC: C’mon, I was just referring to the current generation’s obsession with technology…

AD: I don’t think that’s a new fad – it has existed from the time man stuck a pair of wings on himself and tried to fly… Besides, look at your shoes. The Velcro…

BC: I’ve read about how George de Mestral was intrigued by the way seeds with burrs latched on to his trousers. He then designed a texture that would replicate it.

AD: It’s not just plants – even the gecko has impressed scientists...

BC: Apparently geckos don’t blink – could that result in flicker-free monitors?

AD: Why don’t you try adjusting your screen refresh rate to minimise flicker? On the subject of geckos, I was referring to their incredible climbing abilities…

BC: Imagine how eerie it would be to watch a laptop climb on to the table by itself…

AD: Don’t be ridiculous, I was talking about robots that can climb any surface. Another big development has been a special kind of tape that works without any adhesive, and yet sticks…

BC: So it wouldn’t leave any marks on paper or on walls…

AD: That’s right, and scientists have even demonstrated its adhesive strength by suspending humans and objects from it.

BC: No humans please, the last thing the world needs is a Geckoman franchise, courtesy Hollywood.

AD: Too late – Spiderman has an archenemy known as Lizard who has gecko-like climbing skills too.

BC: Pardon the pun, but why can’t we just stick to Sellotape or Scotch Tape?

AD: This new product can make a huge difference across different fields… It can replace sutures in surgeries to bind the area operated upon. It could also be used as a medicine patch – just stick it on the body to dispatch medicine to a specific part.

BC: If it can replace vaccine injections, the man who makes it happen would be a hero to every kid because he would have achieved what even Superman couldn’t – take the pain out of childhood.

AD: Absolutely! The industrial segment is equally excited because now, anti-skid will take on a new meaning. Suddenly, driving on roads caked with ice will no longer be a challenge…

BC: What about industrial adhesives? It could spell relief for workers – they wouldn’t have to spend desperate evenings trying to get industrial glue off their hands…

AD: It could also be used to improve safety devices for workers who work in high altitudes…

BC: Perhaps we should request the International Olympics Committee to use it on their medals…

AD: What for?

BC: After each Olympic event, we hear about how a medal went out of our grasp - maybe gecko tape could fix that…