Mothered by a computer

Imagine if computers became human – and one had to develop a relationship with them!

BC: What’s with these computers? It’s always a virus or files gone corrupt or the machine slowing down…

AD: You’ve got to treat them with love.

BC: Well, I’m already turning them on…

AD: You should treat them like family. Develop a bond with them.

BC: Really?

AD: Treat them like they’re humans – we have a lot in common with them! Computers belong to families too. Like the IBM ES/9000 family, the HP Series 80 family and so on.

BC: Do they leave behind…

AD: …a legacy? Sure they do, except that in their case, it might be old technology, unwanted files, etc.

BC: Such grief for future generations…

AD: That’s another common aspect - like us, computers have generations too. There have been five computer generations thus far.

BC: That’s saying a lot…

AD: Here’s another common aspect – computers need to be booted up for them to start work, much like most human beings.

BC: Nothing inspires like a kick on the backside, huh?

AD: Absolutely. And in moments of a crisis, both computers and human beings freeze.

BC: Considering the fact that some humans have more silicon in them than computers, it’s going to get difficult to differentiate between the two.

AD: CAPTCHA (Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and Humans Apart) takes care of that. Remember those letters that you key in when you register on a website? That’s to ensure that the response is not generated by a computer.

BC: And what kind of a relationship does one maintain with a computer?

AD: Well, there’s enough kinship in the IT world. How about a strict Pop who sets the rules at home, like POP (Post Office Protocol) an internet standard protocol for e-mails? For a milder version of a father, you could choose DAD (Desktop Application Toolbar) from Perfect Office, a floating toolbar to which you can add applications.

BC: No thanks, I wouldn’t want to be fathered by technology…

AD: If you’re looking for maternal love, you could go for MOM (Microsoft Office Manager), the MS Office button bar and the precursor to the shortcut bar. Of course, the mother of all computer technology is the MOTHERboard.

BC: You’re going to make me cry now.

AD: How about some avuncular overtures then? The Unix Net for Computer Security in Law Enforcement is called UNCLE.

BC: No thanks!

AD: Care for some sibling rivalry? Brothersoft.com is one of the Internet’s top three most popular software download sites. An abbreviated form, .BRO is an extension used by various design applications.

BC: Are you suggesting a lost-and-found formula?

AD: Ok then, if you’re looking for a sister, SIS (Software Installation Script) is an archive for Symbian OS.

BC: Have you left anything out?

AD: Yup, a son! That was how EPSON was born – the SON of EP (Electronic Printer).

BC: At this rate, you’ll have little kids running around. Who’ll take care of them?

AD: A disciplinarian nanny, of course! A net NANNY is a software brand that allows you to filter internet content.

BC: I think I’ll just stick to being with humans.

AD: Well, don’t blame the computers if they treat you like unwanted application files that have been left behind on the hard disk.

BC: Unwanted files?

AD: Yup, they’re called ORPHANS.