The three Rs of computer maintenance

It doesn’t matter how literate one is. When it comes to making a computer work, one has to learn the three Rs all over again…

BC: The next time someone tells me that a computer helps save time, I will...

AD: Hold on, what happened?

BC: The day before yesterday, the net was slow - I had to wait for the pages to load. Yesterday, my computer had slowed down – it was an eternal wait even to open a word file. Today, my computer has crashed and now I'm waiting for the maintenance guy…

AD: Relax, patience is a virtue...

BC: That holds only for doctors, not for old timers with computer problems... Isn't there a crash course for me to learn these things?

AD: A ‘crash’ course? You wouldn’t dare pun on a topic like that, would you? Seriously speaking, there are no short-cuts – you need to start with the three Rs.

BC: You are kidding me – Reading, wRiting and aRithmetic?

AD: No, Restart, Reinstall and Reformat. Isn't that what most computer maintenance guys do? They restart your machine a few times to see if it begins working again. If that doesn't solve the problem, they reinstall the program or the OS. If that doesn't work either, they use their ultimate weapon – reformat the hard disk.

BC: I’ve suffered the last R quite a few times…

AD: I used to work in a computer company where the Regional Manager had a competitor's machine installed in his cabin. He would start each day by kicking it.

BC: Was that his way of kick-starting the day?

AD: Well, let’s say that he loved to give competition the boot...

BC: What if they kicked him back?

AD: He would probably 'reboot'...

BC: If they managed to keep scores, they would be having a neat little game…

AD: Talking of games, do you know what links the boot process to IPL?

BC: Please! Don't we all need a long break from it?

AD: Wait, IPL stands for Initial Program Load – it is the process of mainframes booting up.

BC: It always gets confusing when a term has different interpretations, doesn't it?

AD: But cricket and computers are two different worlds. How would you react to computer jargon with multiple meanings?

BC: Like?

AD: Like restore, for instance. You can 'restore' a window to its original size using the center button in the top right corner of the title bar. Restore also refers to altering the system to an earlier setting or even to its factory setting in case of a problem or virus attack.

BC: Do you think the maintenance guy will restore my faith in computers?

AD: Reload is another such term. It could refer to reinstalling a program - or refreshing a browser page to 'reload' the content.

BC: Surely the computer maintenance guy does not have to reinstall the OS just because I've lost some files...

AD: No, in that case, he would try to retrieve - in short, search for and locate the lost file.

BC: So what happens if everything's been tried out and my computer is still not working?

AD: If it’s new, we have a different set of 3Rs for it.

BC: Really?

AD: Yes, React, Return and Refund. Pick up your computer, go back to where you bought it from - and demand your money back!