Whether
you download a suite or file a suit, technology is always a boon, says a tech
fan.
BC: Hey, what’s up?
AD: Did you hear about the 83-year old
woman who walked into an Apple store – without seeing the glass door in front
of her? She broke her nose…
BC: It’s understandable that Apple fans
hate windows, but ignoring doors as well can be hazardous, right?
AD: Absolutely! However, the old lady is
now suing Apple for a million dollars for not having displayed appropriate
warning signs in the store.
BC: What did she expect – ‘Open door before
entering’? Or perhaps ‘Don’t try to walk through door unless your last name is
Houdini’?
AD: There have been crazier cases filed
against tech companies…
BC: I always thought technology made people
slightly crazy…
AD: It’s the IPO syndrome…
BC: You mean, invest in their Initial
Public Offering?
AD: No, invest in the ‘Intercept Profits
Officially’ scheme – in other words, wait for the company to make money and
then file absurd cases so you can rip them off for a few millions.
BC: Didn’t I tell you that the human mind
is smarter than technology?
AD: But smart enough to hide transmitters
in your iPod?
BC: What do you mean?
AD: A man named Gregory McKenna filed a
case against Apple that it aided the mafia in transmitting their threats
through transmitters that the company had apparently fixed in his iPods…
BC: How bizarre…
AD: Bizarre is a word that has to be
reserved for another case that a prisoner named Jonathan Lee Riches filed
against Apple, Steve Jobs and an employee of the prison - for having attempted
to sexually assault him with an iPhone.
BC: People seem to be dreaming up new ways
of becoming rich…
AD: You’re pretty close to the truth. Riches
finally accepted that the sexual assaults seemed to have taken place in his
dreams and dropped the case.
BC: Looks like Apple can keep doctors away,
but not lawyers…
AD: They make big billions - and that’s
what makes Apple the forbidden fruit that’s tempting mankind…
BC: I agree with you, technology does show
the way to a prosperous future…
AD: However, technology may not always show
you the right way.
BC: Why do you say that?
AD: A woman, who used Google maps to find
her way, mistook the directions, continued into a busy highway and got hit by a
speeding car.
BC: And she has sued Google?
AD: Yes, for 100,000 dollars, because she
was given directions that were unsafe.
BC: Sounds like people won’t stop until they
get the whole company.
AD: And in some cases, they’ll want the Chairman
of the company.
BC: What?
AD: An Israeli entrepreneur named Rotem
Guez changed his name to Mark Zuckerberg and legally registered it…
BC: I don’t believe this…
AD: He then sued Facebook because they had
blocked his profile...
BC: So there are two Zuckerbergs now?
AD: Apparently, there are quite a few out
there... Facebook then sued the fake Zuckerberg for violating their policies
through his business activities.
BC: Facebook sued Mark Zuckerberg?
AD: That was one of the reasons why he
changed his name – to see if they would sue ‘him’.
BC: If they ever make a sequel to The
Social Network, they can call it the Face-to-face book…
AD: One can imagine the press having a
field day with Mark Zuckerberg suing Mark Zuckerberg…
BC: Who would have thought the Like button
would take on a whole new meaning? Instead of having people ‘like’ their
founder, Facebook now has to contend with another like him.
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