Wednesday, September 21, 2011

An app a day...


Sick of technology? Maybe you should download the right app to cure you. 

AD: I’ve got some news for you…

BC: Let me guess, there’s a new app in the market that will make your mobile phone redundant.

AD: Sarcasm, so early in the morning… Your acidity acting up again?

BC: No, I just read a report that electromagnetic radiations from cellular base stations could have serious health hazards.

AD: Listen, there’s a lot that technology is getting blamed for, but…

BC: I’m not talking about a common cold – it says that these radiations could affect pregnancy.

AD: Talking of pregnancies, have you heard of an effective device that helps reduce pregnancy sickness?

BC: No…

AD: It’s called a mobile phone.

BC: You’re kidding!

AD: There’s an app called Nevasic that you can download onto your mobile phone – it has a sound track that reduces morning sickness when pregnant women listen to it.

BC: An app that will prevent people from throwing up? What’s next, an app that will replace doctors? Imagine having a family app instead of a family doctor…

AD: It’s difficult to think of medical science without human intervention. But there’s an app named MyVirtualHealthCheck that can help record glucose levels, heart rate, blood pressure, weight…

BC: What do you do with the readings?

AD: You could mail the information to your doctor and seek immediate advice.

BC: And pay his fees by electronic transfer?

AD: Doesn’t your doctor give you free advice?

BC: No, he believes in giving me huge bills that give me a heart attack.

AD: Then you are the perfect candidate for HeartWise.

BC: I always thought that it is the head that should be wise…

AD: As always, I’ll ignore that…HeartWise is an app that helps you monitor your heart, weight and blood pressure on a regular basis. Apparently you can even create spreadsheets of all the data you’ve gathered.

BC: Reminds me of Celine Dion’s song in the film Titanic.

AD: The Titanic had a bleak future, but PastTense is sure to make your future perfect.

BC: Past tense? Future perfect? Is that an app for English grammar?

AD: No, it’s a software tool that reminds you to take a break.

BC: I can think of several sectors where people need software that should remind them to work.

AD: Well, PastTense is for those who overwork, invite health problems and inadvertently give people like you reasons to blame technology for everything.

BC: But isn’t it true?

AD: Technology is power in your hands…

BC: I also happen to know a few other things that technology brings to your hands – Nintendo thumb, Blackberry thumb, stylus finger, Carpal Tunnel Syndrome (CTS) that affects your thumb, index finger and ring finger…

AD: Oh c’mon…

BC: Technology sure has added new phrases to our vocabulary – we’ve evolved from green thumbs and butterfingers to hot ears and cell phone elbows, also known as cubital tunnel syndrome...

AD: A cousin of the carpal tunnel syndrome, I suppose...

BC: A not-too-distant cousin, if you measure the distance between your fingers and the elbow.

AD: Listen, these problems are because of Occupational Overuse Syndrome (OOS) – or Repetitive Strain Injury (RSI). There are lots of apps that can help you overcome these...

BC: Where does one download these apps from?

AD: Most of them are from Apple and can be found in the iTunes Appstore. Isn’t it obvious?

BC: What’s so obvious about it?

AD: Isn’t that how the saying, ‘an Apple a day keeps the doctor away’ originated?

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